Look folks, I never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the package. I may be missing a few cards from my deck. And, I certainly do not have all my crayons. BUT….I’m smart enough to know that I’m NOT, no way, never, gonna take a pill that’s made from poop.
Yes…poop! I kiddith you not.
Those Canadians, namely Dr. Thomas Louie, an infectious disease specialist at the University of Calgary has come up with a pill made from a donor stool from a relative of yours if you are having stomach problems, such as an infection which is then processed in the lab to take out food and extract the bacteria and clean it. The pill comes in triple-coated gel capsules so that they won’t dissolve until they reach the intestines.
Thank Gawd for that. Image if one of those poop pills dissolved in your mouth. Yuk.
So doctor Thomas Louie, (would you trust a guy with two first names) assures us not to worry. “There’s no stool left, just stool bugs.”
Freakin’ stool bugs! This gets even worse. Stool bugs on top of taking a damn pill made from poop. Cripes, after barfing all over the place just thinking about taking a stool pill I wouldn’t need a stool pill. Just a nausea pill.
Sounds kinda like I for one would just opt for a normal antibiotic. Because it gets even more yucky.
Days before starting the poop pill treatment, the patients, (obviously people who don’t give a s**t, or, in this case, actually do) are given an antibiotic to kill the “C-diff.” (Clostridium difficile) Then on the morning of the treatment, they have an enema, (oh joy) so “the new bacteria coming in have a clean slate.”
Oh great. You take an antibiotic to get ride of bacteria and then take this poop pill, which contains bacteria, because you want it to be the only bacteria in your body, and not the bacteria you first started with. What’s wrong with this picture?
THEN, as if just taking a poop pill and having an enema wasn’t enough, you have to take 24 to 34 poop pill capsules to fit the bacteria needed for a treatment and you have to take them in one sitting. Damn, I can barely get a freakin’ vitamin down in one sitting in the morning never mind taking 24 to 34 poop pills. Not to mention the gag effect just thinking about what the hell I’m taking.
Wonder if you can taste those pills as they’re going down? Barf city folks if ya can. I’m also wondering if taking all those pills, because they ARE made from poop, if they contain farts.
Hey! Pooping and farting go hand in hand so it’s only reasonable I’d think that. I betcha farting is one of the side effects of that poop pill but they’re not gonna tell ya that.
However, if during that 24 to 34 poop pill sitting everyone leaves the room, including Dr. Louie, that should be a clue.
Apparently, if you’re not squeamish about taking these poop pills, it may actually benefit you if you have an infection. According to the doc, 27 patients were treated this way and all had suffered at least four C-diff infections and relapses, but none had a recurrence after taking the poop pills.
Either that, or they all just said, “Screw it, after all those pills and enemas I ain’t goin’ back, so I’m just telling them I’m cured.”
Step up and poop Margaret Corbin, 69, from Calgary who said, “It lasted for two years. It was horrible. I thought I was dying. I couldn’t eat. Every time I ate something or drank water, I was into the bathroom. I never went anywhere. I stayed home all the time.”
Sooooo, her daughter donated her poop, which were then made into the poop pills, and Margaret then took them and she says that “I’ve been perfectly fine since.”
Her daughter has since stopped pooping at her mother’s house.
The good news is that doctors are now testing ways to freeze stools so that it can be stored. I guess in pill form. Or not. I don’t think I really wanna know what it is they’re actually freezing.
They’re attempting to freeze these poop pills because if they store them now in their present condition, at room temperature they begin to dissolve. Which is not good as far as I’m concerned. No way I wanna be in ANY room where poop pills are dissolving. My thinking is that it might be worse than squishing a stink bug.
So, all in all, the choice is all up to you. To take a poop pill, (24 to 34 at a clip) or to live in agony with your intestinal problems like Margaret did. Until she opted for those pills. And is now quite content. And, I assume, pooping on a regular basis.
Ok, enough of this story………………….
I’m totally pooped out.
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