A Premature Ejaculation Story: This Has Nothing To Do With Congress

m

Ewwwwwwwwwwww!

First of all let me clear this up for those of you who have no idea what premature ejaculation is. It is NOT about some guy named Jack who was prematurely ejected from some place for causing a scene. Sometimes you have to make these things perfectly clear.

Premature ejaculation is when you, um,….er….damn….how do I put this delicately.

Ok….premature ejaculation is when you somehow, for one reason or another, are having sex, or not, depending on the circumstances, which I will not go into, and whatever it is that you’re doing, gets you all  hot and bothered and the next thing you know you have a climax….as in having sex. BUT….you actually didn’t….have sex.

Which then leaves you totally frustrated and pissed off. And…if you’re with a partner, leaves them totally frustrated and pissed off as well.

Hope that explains it all for you premature ejaculators.

Well now, according to columnist Jon David Kahn, who I guess is into following news about premature ejaculations, there is hope for those of you who have that problem.

And I’m not writing about this prematurely either.

For the record, premature ejaculation is a problem that affects at least one in four men. So that one guy is realllly pissed off while the other three are completely content the way things are going.

Now there may be a solution for that one poor lonely soul thanks to the same guy that gave us that prescription drug that makes a lot of men stand tall….Viagra.

n

As documented in the Edward Snowden Pfizer documents

Dr. Mike Wyllie, (no relation to Wile E. Coyote or actor Noah Wyle) who was formally with the drug company “Pfizer,” (which should be pronounced “Fizzer” as far as I’m concerned) has come up with a new product called, “Tempe,” which is a spray on medication that has been deemed safe and effective by the “European Medicines Agency” and should hit the market place early next year.

m

Damn……I don’t get no respect

So basically you can spray on your cologne after you shower, spray on your under arm deodorant, and then your woody with this “Tempe” stuff and be totally prepared for any premature events of the day.

Dr. Wyllie says, “Premature ejaculation doesn’t just doesn’t make the patient feel bad. It does affect the partner and can completely destroy relationships. I feel this could save relationships.”

Can we get a “hallelujah” from the congregation please!viagra9

And, without a doubt, we men should all tip our hats to Dr. Wyllie for yet another great invention. After all, look what he’s already done for all of MANkind. (Viagra)

m

Bless you Dr. Wyllie

This new spray on “Oh Gawd stop me from having a premature ejaculation while I’m with this hot babe” spray takes about five minutes to kick in. So I’m guessing that if you’re in a situation where you have the ability to score in just five minutes, you spray yourself immediately. Those of you who take longer to get it on I guess can wait a bit. Unless of course you do not trust your ejaculator.

But, you actually can spray the stuff on two hours before sex and be premature ejaculation proof. Which is great if you started something, then that pizza you ordered arrives, you then have to stop midstream, so to speak, eat the pizza, and go back to getting it on.

Which is good news for the pizza delivery guy if you were very close to prematuring your ejaculation and answered the door at precisely the wrong moment.

“OH Gawd mister….damn! You better give me a freakin’ really good tip ya jerk.”

m

What happens when you have a severe ejaculation problem

The spray also comes in a pocket-sized can, for those unexpected moments when you feel a premature ejaculation coming on I guess, and it will last an entire year. Depending, of course, how bad your premature ejaculations are and how often you experience that problem.

If you’re experiencing premature ejaculations on a constant basis by simply getting excited over a Lady Ga Ga or Miley Cyrus video, you might wanna stock up on a few cans. Or stop watching MTV or YouTube videos.

Kahn, the reporter who reported this story, says that it’s great that one can will last up to a year if the man is having sex five of six times a month and that Dr. Wyllie, for inventing this product, is his hero.

n

Noah Wyle with a cutout of Dr. Wyllie showing his appreciation for this new invention

Which leads me to believe that Kahn may have more than just a passing interest  in reporting this story. My guess anyhow.

Which also leads me to think that Kahn should have used a fake name in reporting on this story lest his chances of getting a lot of dates with hot babes suddenly diminishes if ya catch my drift.

Now, as with any new drug, or any drug for that matter, there are side effects.

WHAT! Do ya think they can make a freakin’ drug without ANY side effects? Dream on.

m

Most likely pre-mature-mature-ejaculation

The side effects include ejaculation all over the place when the medication wears off, like if you’re in a Wal-Mart or somewhere else.  Just kidding.

The side effects are burning sensations and headaches. Which isn’t bad considering when you take a lot of other medications the side effects take up two pages. Think I’m kidding. Pay attention the next time ANY prescription medication is advertised on TV and listen to the damn side effects.

By the way, the article did not mention where exactly you apply the spray. I guess the instructions would be on the can. Which might be good for a laugh or two. Like, just how exactly do they word where to spray that stuff on the side of the can.

m

Yet another break thru by Pfizer

(Tempe spray can instructions) “Remove lid, drop pants, hold woody with one hand while aiming spray applicator at tip of woodster, and spray. Do not spray other areas such as your butt area as this may lead to constipation as this spray is designed to prevent premature ejaculation and may also prevent you from premature pooping.”

Unless of course you have a premature pooping problem and wish to experiment with this spray.

Hey, if that works too you could call Pfizer and suggest that they market that spray for people with premature pooping problems. Kinda like a two for one deal.

Prevent two problems with one spray.

Just sayin.’

DONATE & SUPPORT: The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link:https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=8CP9NV8MPRGG2

Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s