I’m tellin’ ya folks, it’s getting to the point that ya just can’t do anything these days without someone getting on your case about something or other. Like wearing underwear. In school.
Look, if I don’t want to wear underwear in school, that’s MY business for cripes sake. Hey, I don’t have a lot of cash to spend on underwear as it is, and I only do laundry once a week, so what’s the big deal. AND….isn’t it rather fashionable to go, as they say, “commando.”
So if I wanna go without wearing underwear, what’s the big deal?
Um…wait a second here. (checking news article)
Oops…sorry, I thought Congress or my state legislature passed some sort of law stating that I couldn’t go out unless I wore underwear. Damn….gotta get a new pair of glasses.
OK….relax folks. It’s no big deal. Unless you live in Little Rock, Arkansas which has just announced plans for a dress code, (has nothing to do with area codes or the Da Vinci Code) that will require all teachers in their school system to wear underwear. Every single day. And this not only includes male teachers, but females as well who must be required to wear bras.
Hmmmm. You mean female teachers used go braless while teaching? Might have been a plus in biology or anatomy class don’t ya think. Just a thought.
The strange thing about this story is that there was no mention as to why all of a sudden the school district decided to implement this new dress code.
I mean, were a lot of teenage boys flunking class because their minds were not on their assignments in class, and rather, on their teacher’s “alignments” considering she may not have been wearing a bra.
I for one would have definitely flunked that class. Or, ANY class where my teacher did not wear a bra. Come to think of it, I actually did flunk a lot of classes as a teenager even though my teacher wore a bra. I was kind of shallow that way and always, during class, imagined I had super powers, like x-ray vision.
So how does this new Little Rock school district dress code read: “Foundational garments shall be worn and not visible with respect to color, style, and/or fabric. No see-through or sheer clothing shall be allowed, and no skin shall be visible between pants/trousers, skirts, and skirts/blouses at any time.”
Holy Wonder Bra Batman! Boy, if Victoria Secret had been in class today in Little Rock would she be in serious trouble.
“Yes Ms. Grosnick.”
“The outfit you’re wearing in class today is quite inappropriate young lady. You should NOT be wearing a pointed bra with tassels hanging off of the tips in class.”
“But Ms. Grosnick, I’ve always worn this pointy bra in class and you never said anything before!”
“Yes, that’s true Victoria, but as I recall you always wore them UNDER your clothing and not on the outside as you’re doing today.”
“Oh sorry, but I’m working on a business venture which centers around a new line of underwear for women and I’m thinking of calling my company, “Victoria’s Secret.”
“Fine young lady, but let’s keep it a secret here in the classroom. Too many of the boys are taking restroom breaks since you’ve been wearing it in class.”
Also being banned in Little Rock classrooms are T-Shirts, patches and other clothing containing slogans for beer, alcohol, drugs, gangs or sex. Damn….so much for MY wardrobe if I were in that class. My favorite T-Shirt would be banned.
Tattoos must also be covered, if possible. Meaning that if you have a tattoo that is offensive or suggestive, you have to cover it. UNLESS…….you have something like, “Sex, drugs and rock and roll,” tattooed on your forehead, which obviously can’t be covered, lest you die from being smothered by a sack put over your head in class.
Flip-flops are also banned. (this would NOT be a good class for future politicians….if ya catch my play on words there)
Teachers union president Cathy Koehler is taking a stand against these restrictions. In a letter to the school district she wrote, “If an employee refuses to go home and change they can be considered insubordinate and risk losing their job based on an opinion.”
Which is true. Who is going to decide in those classrooms what is considered objectionable and what is not. No red-blooded male kid observing his teacher, (female) going braless in gonna object. As would no red-blooded female student observing her teacher (male) going commando. At least from my perverted point of view.
So who decides? Is there like a dress code board of review that you have to go before? Do ya have to strip down so that they can see if you’re wearing a bra or Fruit of the Looms? And are pasties considered offensive? Just a thought.
As far as I’m concerned this clothing issue in Little Rock is a non issue conceived by a bunch of “little rock heads” in Little Rock.
The one school district that should be concerned about suggestiveness in schools is the school district in Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
“Today class, a bit of history on how Intercourse, Pennsylvania got its name. But, before we get “into” “intercourse,” Johnny Flosgreck, please report to the principal’s office for wearing that offensive T-Shirt.”
“WHAT! Why Mr. Beefenberger? What’s wrong with my shirt anyhow?”
“Johnny, it’s extremely offensive. One should NOT be wearing a shirt that says, “I Love Intercourse.”
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