Things You Need To Know If You Own A Crazy Cat

On any given day you can scan “Facebook” and find six gazillion photos that people post of their cats, other people’s cats, stray cats, and possibly an occasional dog or two.

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Facebook: My cat Fluffy looking out the window

So what’s the deal with all these cats? Obviously cats have an excellent lobbiest at “Facebook” and his or her efforts are working. Personally I think it’s because cats can do all sorts of cute things while dogs just like to lay around, chase an occasional car, and sniff out fire hydrants….and other dogs balls.cats9

But cats……cats just are so photogenic. And they are talented. Look at the rock group “The Stray Cats,” and their hit song, “Stray Cat Strut.” Or that cartoon series, “Josie and the Pussycats.”

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Josie & The Pussycats

So, to better understand cats, if you own one, or are torn between getting a cat or a dog, here’s 7 cat tips to consider which will allow you to understand cats better and possibly help you decide between getting a cat or a dog, courtesy of “Purina” and reporter Joseph Young.

1. “Cats purr without taking a breath. And they can do this while inhaling and exhaling.” Which is great if a cat ever wants to get into ventriloquism. You’d never see their lips move. Unless you leave your dentures lying around.cats8

2. “Cats can’t taste sweetness because the taste buds on a cat’s tongue do not detect sweet flavors. Which is why most cats turn up their noses at pastries and cake”

There is an exception to this “most” cats turn up their noses at pastries. I OWN IT! It’s name is Olivia and she will devour ANY pastry…cake, muffin, doughnut, you name it. So I don’t have a freakin’ clue as to where Purina got that piece of information. They probably don’t own any cats and just guessed at it. Or, do own cats and buy some really crappy tasting pastries that I wouldn’t even eat.

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Gawd I love English Muffins

3. “Cats can’t see in the dark, but they see well in low light. This ability, which lets cats see about six times better than people at night, is due to construction of their eyes. Cats eyes let in more light and have an extra “mirror” layer behind their retina that amplifies the light.”

Which explains why you never see any cat in the waiting room of an eye doctor. Or any cat holding a flashlight at night. And most of all why cats are so active between the hours of 11 pm and 6 am when you’re trying to sleep. Purina recommends tiny sleep blindfolds if you have cats that get all kinds of frisky at bedtime. Um…not really….but they should.cats1

4. “Cats hear ultrasonic sounds. Cats hear things we humans can’t hear.” Like, “Dear, would you take out the garbage.’ Or, “Dear, does this dress make my butt look big.” Stuff like that.

Actually cats can hear those high-pitched noises that rodents use to communicate. Purina calls it “mice talk” and it may account for the number of mouse tails stacked up in your cats cat bed. This ultrasound asset also applies to opening their snack jar from a distance of two miles and multiply that ability to six miles if it’s a can of “Fancy Feast” tuna.

However, most cats are deaf when it comes to them responding when you call them by their name. Unlike dogs who know their names, but not much of anything else.

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And all other dogs…..

5. “81 million Americans have cats. That beats out dogs which number about 72 million in the United States.” This survey of cat and dog owners was conducted in Florida using the hanging chad method, so ya gotta cut dogs a bit of slack here until Purina does a recount.

6. “Cat whiskers are used for measuring.” Which obviously explains why you always see a carpenter with a cat or two strapped to his tool belt whenever he’s constructing anything.

During break times, cats use their measuring whiskers to find their way in the dark, (most homes under construction do not have lighting) by using wind currents that flow around things like 2 by 4’s, doors, or other people. That is the reason you should NEVER cut a cats whiskers.

That and the fact that cats would look pretty stupid without whiskers. Just think of Santa Claus without whiskers. Or Abe Lincoln. Or any 75-year-old woman, like your grandmother.

“Aghhhhhhhhhh!”

“Bobby, what is it?”

“OMG…is that you granny. I didn’t recognize you without your whiskers.”

“Oh….sorry honey…but today was my whisker plucking day.”

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It seems like there are a lot of cats in Florida, but this explains things

And finally, what you need to know about cats, number 7. The burning question, who in their right mind invented the “cat door” and why?

My guess was a verrrrry short guy. But I was mistaken. It actually was Sir Isaac Newton, (after he had invented the fig bar, which makes you poop) because, as Purina surmises, he was always so busy trying to figure out gravity and he got tired of having to stop all of his research by continually opening to door to let the cat out and back in.cat6

“#&$#!^$@ cat…….how the hell can I discover gravity with you constantly interrupting me.”

“Meow!….hack….hack…..barf!”

“Hey….what is that ya barfed up. An apple peel? How the hell did ya get that? Hmmm…..you’ve been hanging around that damn apple tree again haven’t you. But, I had you declawed. Sooooo how did you get that apple?’

“EUREKA! An apple fell on you and…OMG!….THAT’S IT…….GRAVITY!!!”

My guess anyhow.

Joseph Young lives in Baltimore with his cat Annabelle and wrote those seven interesting things about cats with her perched comfortably on his lap. Munching on a mouse tail I would assume.

And finally, if you’re still wondering about the mind set of cats……cats7

Purina is always looking for interesting things about cats. Because they’re very nosy people. If you’d like to share any of your own interesting cat tidbits, you can send them to “http://petcentric.com.”purina

Dear Purina: Why is it cats always want to “knead” on you?

Dear Misfit: Because they “need” you.

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Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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