Monday’s……Yuk!

monday

As that old saying goes, “Ah feel your pain.” This being Monday of course. Well, actually it’s Monday in some places, while in others it’s either Tuesday or fast approaching Tuesday. Damn….it’s sooooo confusing. Why can’t we all just be on the same freakin’ time.

Anyhow, as Monday rolled around I sat here in front of my computer, as it would make absolutely no sense to sit behind it, and pondered the day’s news stories. But it wasn’t a major news story or some idiot making the news that caught my bloodshot eyeballs today. Nope.

Um….WAIT!

“John McCain: ‘Maybe we should legalize’ pot”

Ah…..still, nothing earth shattering about that. I frankly think he’s been smoking it for a while and just wants the prices to come down.

It was an article in “TIME” about companies buying other companies and then those companies buying yet more companies so that in the end there’s just one company. Which inevitability could possibly control the market in whatever that company makes or offers.

m

In this instance, the Armour ham company wins out in the end

So I said to myself, “Hey Mousefeet! There’s gazillions of bucks floating around out there from companies that are just itching to buy out other companies. Maybe someone would be interested in buying ME out!”

HEY! It worked for the little Klingerdorf twins across the street from me.

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Our introductory offer, one lemonade and movie just $5 for 10 seconds. Then after that it’ll cost ya $20 bucks. Read the small print on our puppet show ad.

Then I realized that WTF do I have to offer that would make me a prime target for a takeover or buyout. Considering I make absolutely no money whatsoever.

My answer, to myself, was, zilch, nothing, nada, zippo, nothing. Which, when you think about it IS kinda of attractive. Which is the story of my life. I never fit into anywhere.good fit

Like the TIME article says, “In most cases, the acquirers don’t care about the products they’ve bought. What they covet is the expertise of the acquisitions founders, (me) and engineers, (again, me) and sometimes the technology they’ve created or the data they’ve collected.”

Such as “Twitter” taking over “Bluefin Labs,” obviously so Twitter employees can go bluefin fishing and tweet their success at catching fish a lot quicker. Then buying “Lucky Start” which most likely gives Twitter a head start at being lucky when it comes to their employees buying lottery tickets. Then they bought “Spindle,” which then allows Twitter to make their own shawls and afghans, thus locking up the market on those items. And finally buying “Trendrr,” which tracks discussions of TV programs so that they can tweet those discussions on a slow Twitter post day.

m

Oops….FLASH! Add The Gummy Bear Corp. to that.

See what I mean.

So here’s the deal. I’m tired of feeling sympathy pains for people facing those dreaded Mondays. Ah actually DO feel your pain. And personally, I don’t wanna feel your stinkin’ pain anymore.

So, any major company out there that wants to make me an offer and buy out the MisfitWisdom blog, hey, make me an offer. Just think of how much this blog could enhance your company. Depending of course what it is your company needs to have enhanced.

Possible companies that might be interested.

How about the “New York Times” for one. You know their motto. “All the news that’s unfit to print.” Um….no, it’s “All the news that’s fit to print.” Most of the time anyhow. I’d be open to an offer from the Times. You know, a few mil or so.

m

Hmmm. Maybe THEY need to merge with the National Enquirer

Then, if the Times wanted to print news that actually WAS unfit to print in their paper, they could always print that news here on the MisfitWisdom blog while not looking stupid by printing it in the actual New York Times. How neat is that!

Or perhaps that cartoon site that some of you may have come across called, “Cartoonstock.” All of their cartoons are offered to anyone who wants to fork over a buck to buy them. Unlike myself who rips off cartoons and doesn’t give a rats ass if their copyrighted or not. Because, as I mentioned earlier, I’m not making a buck off of this blog, so I’m NOT making any bucks by using their cartoons.

Besides, the way I look at it, I’m actually promoting their cartoons. Who the hell would know who Mike Luckovich is if it wasn’t for me ripping off some of his editorial cartoons. HEY MIKE! Make me an offer….you can buy me out verrrrry cheap.

Luckovich is an editorial cartoonist for the “Atlanta Journal-Constiution” newspaper, which is unlike the MisfitWisdom blog because they do not rip off other people’s cartoons. As far as I know.

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Mike Luckovich. HEY! Does this guy look like Mark Wahlberg or what!

And, he is one of my favorite editorial cartoonists. (suck-up portion of today’s blog)

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Besides, we both have the same demented minds

(NOTE to Mike: Hey, if ya wanna use my blog on any given day for one of your cartoons go ahead and rip it off. I feel I owe you at least that much)

Of course TIME Magazine could also be interested in buying me out. If only to stop me from constantly quoting their articles. “Playboy Magazine” as well. BUT…..I’ve NEVER used any of their centerfolds in my blogs. In the bathroom maybe, but never in my blog.

But, if I were to think seriously about who I’d really like to buy me out, it would be “Mad Magazine” because they are of the same mind-set as myself. Insane.

And Alfred E. Neuman also reflects my motto of “Do I Look Like I Give A Rats Ass” (DILLIGARA) motto with his, “What, Me Worry.”

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The Neuman brothers. Barack and Alfred

So, I’m gonna sit by the phone on this Monday and await all those phone calls I’m expecting from giant corporations that might be interested in making me an offer I can’t refuse.

Which most likely will amount to a call from Mike Luckovich’s attorneys telling me to stop ripping off his cartoons lest I be hit with a gazillion dollar lawsuit.

In which case I’ll have to resort to my own cartoon artistic talent……………..

stick figures.

Just sayin.’

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Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV (it’s ok Mike…you can rip me off too)

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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