If You’re Having Sex For Fun………Knock it off NOW!!!!

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Bob suffers from having a wife who suffers from “sexenjoyablititus.”

Ok you damn perverts. You heard me. If you’re having sex and enjoying it, STOP it right now. WTF is wrong with you people. Get a damn life. You’ve got to stop enjoying having sex and realize that the only reason to have sex is to make other people, namely babies, so that they can grow up and pass on the word that sex is NOT to be enjoyed.

Then we’d obviously all be more content with our lives and all these arguments about sex, nudity and Miley Cyrus’s butt twerking wouldn’t be a problem.

But noooo. All of you keep insisting that sex should be fun. IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!!!!

Well, according to Tea Potty activist and well-known birther Jerome Corsi. Who, is giving all guys named Jerome a bad rap because if you know anyone named Jerome you’re immediately gonna think of this other idiot.

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Corsi at home with his son

Mr. Corsi spoke at an event earlier this month in Oregon and announced to the audience, “Sex is not about fun. You want to have fun? Read a book. Go to a movie.”

Obviously Mr. Corsi is either a verrrrry ugly guy with which no woman on the face of the Earth would have sex with, hasn’t read “50 Shades Of Grey,” and has never heard of or seen the movie “Deep Throat.”

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Cripes! The guy resembles Colonel Sanders. Screw the sex….pass me a chicken breast….oops….I meant chicken leg….DAMN!….um….chicken wing….OK OK…..chicken beak then.

Then again, maybe he has read that book and seen that movie and that’s why he’s all bent outta shape about sex and having fun.

Apparently Corsi must think that even if you’re married, or not, and want to have children, the sex process should be serious and absolutely no fun or enjoyment involved.

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Early Tea Potty chicken protests

How do ya do that Mr. Corsi?

Perhaps attach electrodes to your private parts and every time you or your partner lets out a “Ohhhhhh” or “Ahhhhhh” or a “OMG” or a double “OMG” sound, zap them with 50,000 volts of electricity to remind them that sex should not be fun.

As far as just reading a book to have fun, I kinda have a problem with that suggestion.

Now on any given night as my other half and I sit out on the patio, me on my laptop writing this stupid blog and her engulfed in a book, except when I’m trying to write and she’s asking me dumb questions, I have never once seen her utter a “Ohhhh,” “Ahhhhh,” or a “OMG” while reading a book. What kinda fun is THAT!

Um…..I stand corrected. She once did say “OMG” while reading Terry Francona’s book about the Red Sox but it had nothing to do with sex. I think.

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This book could also keep your mind off of sex for a while

Corsi added,”Sex is about pro-creation of children. It’s a sacred responsibility and is meant by God for men and women to commit their lifetime to children.”

Which basically means that the trend of grandparents raising their children’s children is right on the nail. Dedicating your lifetime to raising kids. While, in contrast to Corsi’s statement, the rug rats parents are out having a good time doing other stuff….like not having sex, but perhaps reading a good book or watching a “National Geographic” documentary about fire ants. Seems logical to me.

Another suggestion from this great Tea Potty activist. “Keep the churches open and shut down the government.”

Which prompts me to say to myself, ‘WTF planet is this guy from?” Obviously Uranus if you catch my drift. (worded a bit differently in his case)

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Geez Mr. Corsi….you really “crack” me up

Corsi also told the audience how to stand up to people who might call them a bigot for opposing gay people.

“Well, they want to call me a racist? Go ahead.” (ok….you’re a racist)

“Want to call me a bigot? Go Ahead.” (ok….you’re a bigot)

And he went on….”But I’m not going to be judged on what somebody called me. I’m going to be judged on the adherence to God’s law.”

OK…..good luck with that pal. Let us know when you get to wherever it is you’re going to be judged by “God’s Law” and perhaps if you get an acquittal we all might then stop enjoying sex. In the meantime, if  YOU wanna stop enjoying sex, that’s fine with the rest of us people living in Sodom and Gomorrahville just running rampant with all kinds of perverted sex activities in our “private” bedrooms.

Oops…..cue in the “fire and brimstone” activists.

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A group of people who also love Mr. Corsi

So if you believe in Jerome Corsi’s advice and subscribe to the reasoning that sex should be serious stuff with no fun involved, you might have a few options to help you accomplish that goal.

Join the clergy. Um….WAIT! Maybe not that one.clergy1

Read some really boring books to keep your mind off sex. Any cookbook does it for me. Second on anyones list, “Donald Trump’s Biography.”

Movies: Perhaps ANY Walt Disney movie might do the trick. Skip any Disney movie with sleeping princesses and princes who rescue them. We’re not stupid ya know. We know what happens after that princess gets rescued.

Finally, if you still are having fun while having sex, you’re gonna go straight to freakin’ hell.

No question about it. Corsi may be right.

My theory however is this.

I don’t have a lot of friends in my life. Some have passed on. Other live too far away. While many others are just too busy to stay in touch. BUT…..I figure it this way. Most of my friends loved sex, enjoyed it, and even my current friends really love getting it on.

Soooo. If I’m going to hell Mr. Corsi, where do ya think most of my friends are gonna be?

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Hey great! Can I meet Lawrence Welk?

So I might as well enjoy my fool ass off enjoying sex, which by the way I do believe God intended to create children, BUT, when you’re too old to have children, he may have said, “Hey WTF! enjoy yourselves.” A point Mr. Corsi may have failed to mention.

“Hey Honeeee……get out the fire and brimstone. We’re gonna have a hot time in biblical sense tonight.”

Which poses the question: “What would Moses do?’

Hmmmm. “Hey Moses, how about an 11th commandment. Like, um, “Thou shalt not feel guilty about enjoying sex,”moses1

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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