Eating Chicken Wings Is Gonna Make My WHAT Smaller? (PETA)


Ok….lets try Uranus

Sometimes ya just have to wonder if there is any intelligent life out there. Honestly.

It’s really scary when a well-known group such as “PETA” (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) comes out and asks organizers of the Buffalo, New York “National Buffalo Wing Festival” to ban pregnant women from eating chicken wings at this years event.

So I said to myself. “Misfit….this is a worthy cause. Protecting young chickens from giving their wings up all in the name of a bunch of people eating chicken wings.”


Humpty Dumpty was murdered too…..

However, upon further examination of this important news story from Rochester’s “YNN” news source and reporter Katie Cummings, it appears that PETA is not only concerned with the rights of chickens, but of pregnant women and their offspring as well.

WHY?  Because, according to PETA, if pregnant women enroll in this chicken wing eating contest they run the risk of having their new sons born with smaller than average penises. This according to PETA associate director of campaigns Lindsay Rajt.

I have no idea how PETA has come up with this conclusion other than they spent a lot of time examining the size of a penis on a rooster I guess. What this has to do with chickens and small penises on new-born children I don’t have a freakin’ clue.

But, not knowing the actual size of a penis on a rooster or how it affects chickens in general, who the hell am I to question PETA’s findings.


Um…..can I pass on those chicken wings and breasts and go for Pamela’s…um…er…..neverrrrrr mind

Meanwhile, back at the chicken ranch, or not, some pregnant women in Western New York were surprised by the news.

Heather Albert, (no relation to Eddie or Herb) says that, “I think that it’s silly. I ate poultry when I was pregnant and I have two children and they are perfectly fine.”

(I’m assuming Heather does regular penis checks on her children)

Another N.Y. resident, Candice Stewart said, “They never said anything about what to eat, and not what to eat. (her doctors) They just told me to be you know, cautious of certain things and make sure I eat stuff so I won’t have low iron.”

And Shawn West of Buffalo said, “I’ve never heard of that at all as far as like a man having small areas because of their mother or the women eating chicken wings.”


Yeah bro….now maybe they’ll stop staring at my teeth

So basically folks this could be PETA blowing smoke outta their chicken wing barbecues in an attempt to get people in Buffalo to stop eating chickens….or, at least their wings.

You know how that goes. Put everybody on a chicken guilt trip and they’ll stop eating chickens. BUT….then ramp it up a bit and throw in the “small penis” thing and you know damn well a lot of people are gonna panic. Which then serves PETA’s cause.

However, what about that 1/2 percent of people who are actually gonna believe that eating chicken wings causes baby boys to have small penises?

What about baby boys who are now grown up men whose mothers ate chicken wings at that “National Buffalo Wing Festival” many years ago, are not in a serious relationship because of their small penises, or stars in porno movies, and now they suddenly realize they may have a lawsuit on their hands because their small penises may have been caused by their mothers eating chicken wings.

Me thinkith this could get waaaaaay outta hand here.

There was one really intelligent person in the crowd however. Krystle Socha said that, “If my doctor says I need to watch my eating them, then I’ll listen to the doctor. I’m not going to listen to PETA who claims is has defects.”

I’d go a step further if my doctor told me or my wife to stop eating chicken wings. First I’d wanna know if the doctor’s mother ate chicken wings and that’s why he’s advising my wife not to eat them. THEN……I’d sure as hell wanna see some proof….you know, scientific proof to back up his claim…..

Like whipping out his “small” penis.

Just sayin.’

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Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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