OMG! I Forgot To Write a Blog!!! Actually……………………I WAS STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stress 2

I really didn’t forget to write a blog. Honest. I was just too busy doing stupid stuff and before I knew it, it was too late to really do some serious web browsing to find something that would be worth writing about.

Not that my life is busy mind you. It’s just little things that bog you down and before ya know it, the day’s gone.

So, what took up my unproductive day?  Here’s how it went.

I slept in till 9am because I got sucked into watching that “Boston Red Sox” game from San Francisco which was still going on at midnight. MIDNIGHT for cripes sakes. The entire East Coast is asleep at midnight ya jerks. Except me, my other half, and a few hold outs, probably having a last call in a bar, who were watching that game.

t

Holdouts watching the game at last call

Sooo, this is where the domino effect comes into play.

By the time I fell asleep lying next to my other half who has a severe case of  “I CAN’T SLEEP CAUSE I HAVE THE ITCHIES!” it’s well past 1am. The cats walking across my head didn’t help matters either. So I figure it was well past 2am by the time everybody settled down.sleep

9am the alarm goes off because I promised my friend Doc I’d go pick raspberries with him at 10am. He cautions me to wear something dark so as not to get raspberry stains all over me. Which is what I do. Which he did not, (wearing a WHITE T-shirt) and, yes, getting raspberry stains all over it.

Soooo, we picked raspberries, fought off the bees who insisted on pollinating at the same time, and an hour later we were finished.

(Time Magazine had this big article on how bees are disappearing in this weeks issue. HEY TIME! They’re all up here on this raspberry farm pollinating their fool asses off)

Beca

Because they’re pissed off that we’re taking their raspberries

So then I head back home, sit with Doc for a cup of coffee and our usual conversations which consist of politics, money, computers, crocheting, (my other half attempts to get into the “man” conversation by mentioning crocheting….we ignore her) and then eventually Doc says he has to leave to drive 30 miles to pick up a free couch.

BUT…..he’ll be back in an hour to take some bugs out of my computer. Which really doesn’t leave me a lot of time to do any serious blog writing. So…….I basicaslly spend that hour sending out hate e-mails to people who didn’t respond to my hate e-mails.

Doc returns and spends 2 to 3 hours tweaking up my PC and Laptop while explaining in detail to me what it is exactly he’s doing.

“Well Dick, ya see these bits and bytes here. Ya got waaaaay too many strange framus zorkenfords which are slowing down your computer. So if you download this ballistic 7000 mega virus shameafram and then zipprima the kraznick and then clean up those babbanremus files you have your computer will run a lot faster.”

Huh?

b

“Hey Great…..I’ll take it over to Dick’s house…he’ll love it!”

So it was now past 3pm and my eyeballs were glazed over from watching Doc zip from site to site and downloading all sort of strange things. And then he was finished….leaving me with instructions on what to do while both my computers were still downloading Gawd knows what.

“Oh yeah Dick….it’ll be five or six hours for those frocken viral freebuses to download but you’ll still be able to use your computers. If ya see smoke coming out of any of them, just hit “restart.”

So, completely brain drained by the time Doc left, I needed to replenish my depleted brain reasoning function. I had a “Spam” sandwich. Usually works, but pisses off my other half because she hates Spam and it smells up the house. I offered her no sympathy.

m

It’s ok Ed…..so am I

So now it was 4pm and my eyeballs and brain were still glazed over. So I snorked for an hour.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Woke up an hour later, ate supper, ran (drove) the store for a few items, came back home, plopped myself into my patio chair and figured I bang out a really good blog now that my traumatic day was behind me. (HEY…it was traumatic to me!)

BUT…….did ya ever try to write with a woman sitting next to you?

Can’t be done. Nope. No way. Impossible. Pulling a Moses parting the “Dead Sea” would be easier. And HE didn’t have any woman there distracting him.

Soooo. No really great blog today folks.

Not that any of the blogs I write are great.

They’re just a lot easier to write when I have a functioning brain.

w

Which, as you can see, is an impossibility

Maybe tomorrow………………….

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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6 Responses to OMG! I Forgot To Write a Blog!!! Actually……………………I WAS STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Doc says:

    Dick, I certainly appreciate you telling folks about my attampts at cleaning up and working on your computerS(<—-plural). But you were probably tired and forgot the most important part of the instructions. If your readers rely on just what you told them ("zorkenfords"–although critical to an operating system–the "shamaframs" are indeed necessary for smooth functioning.

    That's why I gave you the "ballistic" version so you can "upload yours" into a deeper path (into the cloud, if necessary). The "kraznick" is merely a trojan checker; they used to be made of wood, now they are merely electric and gaseous add-ons–I installed the double-wide and titanic version on my system, and received instant gratification). "Babbanremus" files hold all these spermonics for later implantation. This is why so many files are lost in the translation. The kraznick files hold them in place for later retrieval, and are usually frozen initially (why most computers thrive in a cold environment).

    But the key item you've left out in today's blog was the tool that many vendors and geeks use that almost always results in failure. They use a socket wrench, which is generally too large for intricate use within a computer's housing and on their mother boards.

    What I usually use–with a 99% success rate–is a "sprocket" wrench. You see, most computers are on a table or desk adjacent to a wall. In most instances, one has to get a bulkhead stretcher to maximixe the wall space…you can obtain most of these tools in an artists colony, or computer engineering office. Typically, one turns the bulkhead stretcher a quarter turn at a time using the sprocket wrench, and measure the width of expansion using water line (in most cases, ten feet of line is sufficient).

    Artists love it because they can expand their wall space more economically and show more paintings. Engineers love it because, well…they just do (they really like the smaller sprocket wrench as it fits very neatly in their shirt pocket and makes them feel impotent…that way, they can handle the smaller spermodic files much easier). While I usually have the largest wrench I can find, I also have a couple of smaller ones for my friends.

    Now this is the complete instruction for your readers. And they don't have to worry about everybody's favorite misuse of the phrase, "garbage in, garbage out." They'll understand right away.

  2. SVG says:

    Hey Doc, I think I know what you mean.

    I live in an area that has a lot of museums. My boss is always telling me about those “b.s. artists” crowding the sidewalks during some outdoor festival. I always assume there are a lot of bulkhead stretchers lying around, because he’s always saying, “Look at all this b.s.!!” but I’ve never seen so much b.s. in all my life–so I don’t know what he’s talking about. He must be going blind, muttering something about “what a bunch of b.s.!”

    One of those crazy b.s. artists walked up to me once at a recent fair, asking where the chow line was…I said I didn’t have any.

  3. in2indigo says:

    Learning to crochet would help the stress.

    ________________________________

    • misfit120 says:

      Having more sex works much better. Ask Rocky.

      The Pervert (AKA Misfit)

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

      ________________________________

  4. Charlie says:

    I came here for a bit of peace, bad idea. I can’t even pronounce some of these words. Banging head seems to work though.

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