CIA Spills The Beans On Area 51. Yeah….right.


The Kukla, Fran & Ollie Show still exists

The CIA says, not to worry folks, “Area 51,” in Nevada, near the “Groom Lake” area known for decades as that place that unmentionable mysterious things were taking place was nothing more than a test facility for the U2 spy plane.

Great! That explanation obviously is enough for me. Clears everything up. Case closed. No UFO’s or dead alien bodies. Gosh I feel so comforted now.area 3

WAIT! Isn’t the CIA one of those secret hush-hush government agencies that has spys and does all sorts of unmentionable things? Except tell lies. Which we all know the government never does.

And that rumor that has persisted for years that “Area 51” held dead alien bodies that were found after that Roswell, New Mexico crash of an alien spacecraft in July 1947. Obviously just a rumor and 100% false.area 2

Um….WAIT! What about that farmer type guy who found that spacecraft and a few dead aliens? Um………oh…..obviously U2 plane parts, and the aliens………..oh, U2 pilots. See…..solves everything.


And a few chickens just to confuse the hell outta them

Here’s a blurb from Wikipedia FYI:

“On July 8, 1947, the Roswell Army Air Field (RAAF) public information officer Walter Haut, issued a press release stating that personnel from the field’s 509th Operations Group had recovered a “flying disk”, which had crashed on a ranch near Roswell. Later that day, the press reported that Commanding General of the Eighth Air Force Roger Ramey had stated that a weather balloon was recovered by the RAAF personnel. A press conference was held, featuring debris (foil, rubber and wood) said to be from the crashed object, which seemed to confirm its description as a weather balloon.”

Ah yes. The old weather balloon ploy. Which we now know, might have actually been a U2 spy plane back in 1947…um….don’t we?


William Shatner…..always the clown…..

But what about other witnesses who saw the actual wreckage? What did they have to say?

(from Wikipedia)

“Frank Kaufmann performed various duties at RAAF, and his accounts appeared in UFO Crash at Roswell (1991). When interviewed by Karl Pflock in 1993, he claimed to have been a part of a nine-member team, the only ones permitted to travel to the location of a crashed alien craft and its crew. The site was north of Roswell, though he elsewhere claimed the site was on the Foster ranch. Kaufmann said his team came to the site and discovered a crashed craft split open, with an alien thrown against the arroyo wall, another hanging from the craft, and two more inside. All were clad in silver, wet-suit-like, one-piece uniforms. The aliens were described as having smaller noses, eyes, and ears compared to humans; no hair, being trimly built, standing about 5.25 feet (1.60 m) tall. The skin color was pale and gray.[22] Gerald Anderson claimed he saw aliens at the Plains of Agustin, where Barney Barnett was said to have also seen aliens. His accounts were featured initially in Crash at Corona (1992). He, with his family, said he saw a silver object in a hillside. He described seeing three crew members on the ground in an upright position.[23] Sgt. Thomas Gonzales, in an interview with Don Ecker, editor of UFO magazine, said he helped guard a crash site and saw aliens and a craft. Ecker wrote that Gonzales said he saw “little men.” They were human-looking but had eyes and heads slightly larger than human. The craft was an “airfoil” design.[24] PFC Elias Benjamin was an MP with 390th Air Service Squadron. On July 7 or July 8, he was placed in charge of escorting three or four bodies covered with sheets on gurneys from Hangar 84 to the Roswell base hospital. During the transfer, the sheet slipped off of one revealing the grayish face, which contained hairless head of a non-human species. Later at the base hospital, with the sheet removed, he could make out a small person with an egg-shaped head.

Oh…geez….that explains it all. A weather balloon that crashed with a dozen eggs and chickens on board which was part of the CIA’s first attempts at testing the U2 spy plane and not using live humans. We all know chickens are expendable.


As Mitt Romney once said, “Aliens are people too.”

Um…wait a sec. When was “Area 51” established? (checking)

Hmmm. “Area 51” was founded in the 1940’s and the U2 spy plane program was established in 1955. So if that UFO with the chickens and eggs crashed in 1947, um….then that was BEFORE the U2 spy plane was in existence.


Something smells rotten in Denmark here…..or Roswell…..or “Area 51.”


Then again, maybe it IS all about rugs

First of all we’re expected to trust the CIA. Yeah right! Like do any of you NOW trust the NSA?  I rest my flimsy case.


Or Heinz Ketchup

Audrey Hewins, who lives in Oxford, Maine, which has nothing to do with Roswell or “Area 51,” was interviewed by the AP for this story and the only reason I’m picking up on this is because she runs a support group for people like her who believe they have been contacted by extraterrestrials. She suspects the CIA is moving closer to disclosing that there are space aliens on Earth.

If any of you know who Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, Anthony Weiner and the Honey Boo Boo family are, there should be no doubt that space aliens exist here on earth.

She went on to say,”I’m thinking that they’re testing the waters now to see how mad people get about the big lie and cover-up.”

I’m not sure if she meant by “mad people,” people who are out of their ever-lovin’ trees, (mad) or that they’re mad about being misled. Could go either way.area 1

I might add that in the AP story it was mentioned that  even though the CIA has released a lot of information about the activities at “Area 51,” the 407-page document still, yes the key word here folks is “STILL,” contains many redactions. (parts blocked out so that we lemmings can’t read it)

So, in conclusion, it’s one of those, “he said, she said, we said” thingys. The CIA says U2 Spy planes. UFO theorists say it was a UFO with alien bodies. And that farmer who came across the initial wreckage, well, apparently he was a nut case. As is anyone who claims there was a second gunman at the assassination of JFK.

RATS!  That makes ME a freakin’ nutcase.


My theory of what happened to Jimmy Hoffa

Soooo what to do?

Either we accept the CIA’s explanation that “Area 51” was nothing more than a top-secret test site and no hairless graying looking chickens in spacesuits were involved in those tests, one of which went array, crashed in 1947, which was then spotted by an obviously nutcase UFO conspiracy farmer…..

OR…….you could watch this video of former President Jimmy Carter and make up your own mind:

If you watched the video you see that Carter at the end says, “Um, I don’t think that’s possible.” Obviously the CIA got to him. Bastards.

As for me, I’m convinced there were alien UFO’s at “Area 51.” Only because my next door neighbor Harvey Znorkf used to work for the CIA and during one of our intense pool games on Saturday night in his basement, after a few snorts of Jack Daniels, he admitted there were indeed UFO’s at “Area 51.”


My next door neighbor Harvey Znorkf

And my neighbor would NOT lie to me.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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2 Responses to CIA Spills The Beans On Area 51. Yeah….right.

  1. swedenole13 says:

    Pssst…..I have this bridge, you might want to buy!

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