“Under The Dome” Sucked In Again. Damn You Stephen King

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The Dome is Doomed….as far as I’m concerned

I’m mad as hell and I ain’t gonna take it anymore! Um…..where did I hear that before? Oh yeah, it was that classic line in the movie “Network.” But, I’m gonna use it anyhow, because as I said, “I’m mad as hell and I ain’t gonna take it anymore!catmad

Actually I was mad as hell last year and the year before and kept taking it to a certain extent, but this year I’m even madder and THIS TIME I’m vowing NOT to take it anymore. Unless some clever producer/writer like Stephen King manages to suck me into another “watch my new thrilling TV series which will only last 13 episodes,” ploy.

Yes…Stephen King lied to us! CBS and King said that their new series, “Under The Freakin’ Dome” would only last 13 episodes….then….then…we’d all know how and why that dome thingy sliced an innocent cow in half and why those people are trapped in that damn dome and how cable TV still is able to charge them for getting TV programs when the dome blocks everything coming in from the outside. (utility bills)

(CBS has renewed “Under The Dome” for a second season)

It was bad enough when I got sucked into watching that program simply by the intriguing title…”Under The Dome.” Which I thought was a program about bald-headed men and how they take over the world from guys with long flowing hair and score with women. Obviously, lacking in hair myself, you can see my interest.

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Sometimes no good nik bald headed guy “Big Jim Rennie,” (Dean Norris) on the Dome sporting his own “dome.”

But, a bit disappointed that it had nothing to do with bald-headed men, except for a few of the actors, I began to watch it. Only because I got sucked in by that first scene when that poor cow buys the farm, and because they promised me it would end in 13 episodes and I’d finally have the answers to all of my questions.

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Hey Stephen….I’m callin’ the ASPCA on ya!

Like who had it in for that cow? And why that deranged kid who had his girlfriend locked up in some underground shelter got to be a cop.  And foremost, what damn propane company is paying these people to promote propane?

Look….I completely understand why some of you are into this show. But don’t you think it should have an ending at some point in our lifetime?

Why? I’ll tell ya why.

Look at it this way. What if you went to the movies, sat there for two to three hours, and at the end of the movie it said, “Come back again next week for the next installment of this movie.” You’d say to yourself, “What, are ya freakin’ nuts! I wanna see a damn ending ya jerks!” Like maybe an end to all these “Superman movies.” Isn’t Superman in his 80’s by now and retired?

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My point exactly…..thank you Mrs. Kent

EVERYTHING has to have an ending. That’s the way life is. A beginning, a middle and an ending. Because we all get great satisfaction out of endings. Like in the movie “Inglorious Bastards” when Brad Pitt carved that swastika onto that evil Nazi’s forehead scarring him for life. THAT was an ending. AND….we were satisfied.

Ok…I’ll put it to you in a manner that perhaps some of you can understand. Considering my readers tend to need charts and graphs to understand what the hell point I’m attempting to make.

Let’s say you’re in the middle of hot passionate sex. Then, jussssst at the moment of ecstasy, your partner says, “STOP,” let’s continue this next week.”

Do ya get my point now?

I got sucked into the TV series “Bones” until they introduced a baby into the mix. Same with “Mike & Molly” and “Rules of Engagement.” As far as I’m concerned babies, who obviously can’t have any dialogue in a TV series, should not be part of the plot. So, opting not to want to watch dirty diapers being changed and screaming babies, I do not watch those shows anymore either.

If I wanna see a baby screaming its head off I’ll get one of my own.

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From the “Baby Went Missing” episode on “Bones.”

Same with “The Killing.” It was supposed to be a short series with an “ending.” Did it end? NO! Do I now care who the hell killed Rosie whatever her name is? NO!

GIVE ME A FREAKIN ENDING FOR CRIPES SAKE! DO IT FOR THE SAKE OF THAT POOR DECEASED DECAPITATED COW!

And, I might add that this is not only with new television series either. There is a sneaky movement afoot that mimics extending cinema series as well. Which a lot of you get sucked into.

I’m talking about movie after movie of the same movies that have been around since Moses came down from the mount and said, “Hey, TV sucks up there too…..and I had really great reception.”

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God tell Moses about summer reruns

Like those “Indiana Jones” movies. Gimmie a break here! First, “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” then “Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom,” then, “Indiana Jones, The Last Crusade,” and then, “Indiana Jones, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” What’s next? “Indiana Jones, Kingdom of the Retirement Home Seniors.”

Cripes, Harrison Ford can barely chase anything without oxygen as it is.

I want endings damn it. Endings! E-N-D-I-N-G-S!!!!

One final point here. Ya think I’m nutso because I want endings. Well pay attention here you doubting Thomases. Do any of you perhaps remember THESE shows that they sucked you into watching every week, THEN, when the ratings dropped, they canceled them….without any endings:

“Fringe:” (Fox) Yeah….”Fringe”. Cancelled because the ratings sucked. Was there an ending? NO! So now everybody’s stuck in a parallel universe and we have no idea where they are.

“Olivia….are ya stuck on the other side or this side….Olivia….Olivia?”

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Soooo Olivia. Wanna have sex here and then again in the paralell universe?

Or how about “V.” Yep, that show where aliens, (not from Mexico) landed on Earth and promised us a good life without TV reruns and endless TV series episodes. Gone…cancelled. So where’s the damn ending? Only Edward Snowden and the NSA know for sure.

Here’s a few others for you skeptics. “Leverage,” (TNT)  “CSI New York,” (CBS)  “Body of Proof,” (ABC)  “Flashpoint,” (ION) and “Vegas.” (CBS) Did ya see any final endings there? NO!

So basically we’re  left hanging as to if “Leverage” finally found any leverage. If “CSI New York’s” Mac Taylor ever got it on with his new girlfriend and had a baby…um…well….maybe that one was no great loss.

If “Body of Proof” was ever gonna show us those X-rated naked pics of Jeri Ryan’s “body” of proof which are all over the Internet.

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I put this one in to make up for that disgusting cow photo. (“Body” (pant) of Proof.”)

If “Flashpoint” ever had a day when nothing was flashing. Except for a few hookers outside of their headquarters.

And finally, we will never know if Vincent Savino (Michael Chiklas) and Ralph Lamb, (Dennis Quaid) come out of the closet and announce their engagement. (they were getting very close to each other in this series before it was cancelled)

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See ya sweetie. Ok honeeee.

Not to mention, but I will, hot babe Mia Rizzo, (Sarah Jones) on “Vegas.” (I get sucked into watching hot babes on TV shows)

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Sarah Jones

So in conclusion, I’m NOT gonna watch anymore of the “Dome.” Nope…no way Jose. ( no disrespect to anyone named Jose) I got this all figured out.

When they announce the “FINAL” episode, at which point that cow is put back together and the dome evaporates and life is returned to normal, then I’ll watch it.

Unless…..unless….they cancel it during the next season because the ratings drop. Which is a possibility.

After all. How long can ya live under a dome without cable TV, access to Powerball lottery tickets, bread and milk, and the staple of life, chocolate. Without those things it makes that show completely unbelievable.

Reason enough to cancel that series.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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