Yep, just the other day I said to myself, “Self, what we need is some more good quality television programs like “Honey Freakin’ Barf Barf.”
Yet as lame as that show is, actual honest to goodness television viewers watch it. Go figure.
So, because a bunch of brain-dead Americans watch that show, what do ya think is comin’ down the ol pike? Yep….another lame brain-dead show for these brain-dead viewers. Oh joy.
Does this photo below ring a bell?
Yep, the original “Beverly Hillbillies” is about to be dug up outta some deep dark hole somewhere and renamed, “The Hollywood Hillbillies,” BUT…..this new show will be about , (Gawd help me) real stupid people. Unlike the Beverly Hillbillies that was about fake stupid people.
Many, many eons ago, (1961) the chairman of the “Federal Communication Commission,” Newton N. Minow, (I know it sounds kinda fishy, but that IS his real name) in an address to the “National Association of Broadcasters,” (has nothing to do with broads on roller skates) labeled television as a “vast wasteland.”
NEWT! NEWT! Where are ya today? We need ya.
Newt, (not Gingrich) resides in Chicago and most likely still thinks television is a vast wasteland, only with many more commodes.
By the way, if you remember the vast wasteland TV show “Gilligan’s Island” you may remember the boat in that show was named the “S S Minnow.” That was a sarcastic dig at the FCC chairman for the vast wasteland comment.
So what’s this new “vast wasteland” show going to be about? My guess, (quite accurate)…….a bunch of idiotic people who the network, “Reelz-TV,” thinks the rest of us normal people really want to watch to see just how stupid real life people are.
The premise of this show is this. American TV viewers are a bunch of idiots and are brain-dead. Um…..no…sorry, that was MY premise. Theirs is as follows.
The show follows Michael Kittrell, (of YouTube video fame….I’ll get to that in a sec) his grandmother, Delores Hughes, Aunt, Dee Dee Peters and her boyfriend Paul Conlon, and Kittrell’s uncle John Cox. All of whom move from Grayson, Georgia to Hollywood, California. Great exciting plot so far don’t ya think.
As for that “YouTube” that made Kittrell somewhat of a celebrity, (5 minutes) it was a video he posted there ranting about why red-headed people don’t get no respect. Kinda like a Rodney Dangerfield rant. All because of an episode on “South Park” that made fun of red-headed people. (Woody Woodpecker was not one of them)
So, let’s pause for a moment and watch this very emotional and touching YouTube video by Kittrell: “Gingers Do Have Souls.” http://youtu.be/EY39fkmqKBM
Tearing up are ya…(sniff) Me too. Red headed discrimination. Who woulda guessed?
See….all it takes is to make a YouTube video about being discriminated against because you’re a redhead and Shazam! a TV show. AND….you can even use the “F” word to emphasize your deep emotional hurt and how much it traumatized you.
Me thinkith, with my sparse hair, I should watch TV shows very closely and the minute anyone discriminates against bald-headed men, I’ll go on YouTube, rant and rave dropping all kinds of “F” bombs and maybe even the “bird” and possibly get my own TV show.
I mean, WTF, if that’s what the American TV public wants, brain-dead reality shows, who am I to question that logic. As long as I can make a buck off of it too.
Hmmm. Let me think about this concept for a sec.
How about a blogger who moves from Rhode Island to Connecticut, (I know it’s not that far but cut me some slack here) settles down in a small town with his other half Zelda, (stage name) and their three cats, Daryl, Daryl, and that other cat Larry, (stole that from “Newhart”) and writes stupid blogs that hardly anyone gives a rats ass about but is a really funny inane show with lots of funny scenes such as:
“Honeeee, can ya get outta that damn chair, put some clothes on, stop writin’ that blog and cut the grass?”
“WHAT! Do I want a piece of what? Can’t ya wait.”
Is THAT reality or what!
Now the only problem I have with my own reality show pitch to the networks is that, according to the networks, “America loves to watch rednecks and hillbillies.”
So. What to do? Obviously I’m not a redneck nor a hillbilly. BUT…my other half, Zelda, (again, her stage name) IS from West “By God” Virginia and does, on many occasions talk kinda redneckish.
Like pronouncing “cow” as “cawh.” Or saying sentences like, “Do you not like this show.” While normal people would say, “I guess you don’t like this show.” Not to mention, but I will, her pronunciation of “dog” as “dawg.”
So maybe, just maybe I might be able to cash in on this “vast wasteland” TV craze.
Hey! If the American TV public wants stupid mindless reality shows about stupid mindless people, who am I to argue with that……Newton Minow?
(Note to Newton Minow: Puleeeeese…..puleeeeeeeeeeeeeese…..come out of retirement and stop this madness before I blow my freakin’ brains out.
Or shoot my TV.
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