New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner held a press conference on Tuesday to explain the latest revelations about his wiener. Which basically was that he may or may not have continued to show off his wiener as late as this year as reported by the website “TheDirty.com” on Monday.
Already the wolves are howling, calling for Weiner to withdraw from the mayoral race.
(Late Wednesday The great and powerful OZ…..um…no, that’s not right….sorry. I meant the great and powerful “New York Times” issued this scathing response to Weiner’s decision not to drop out of the race)
NYT to Weiner: Quit Mayor’s Race
“At some point, the full story of Anthony Weiner and his sexual relationships and texting habits will finally be told,” the Times Editorial Board said of the former congressman. “In the meantime, the serially evasive Mr. Weiner should take his marital troubles and personal compulsions out of the public eye, away from cameras, off the Web and out of the race for mayor of New York City.”
Ooooooooo…….be scared Antny…….be verrrrry scared. NOT!
Me thinkith the voters should decide……”NOT” a freakin’ newspaper….or ANY other type media.
As that “Capital One” ad says, “What’s in your wallet?” Or……what’s in it for the media if Weiner drops out. Um…..of course…no hidden agendas…..right? We ALL trust the media don’t we?
Another of his mayoral opponents, Bill de Blasio, who ranks at the back of the crowded race, called on Weiner to withdraw from the race in light of the latest revelations as reported by “Reuters News Service.”
Now let me see if I understand this. This guy Bill de Blasio, who is waaaay back of the crowded race for mayor is yelling for Antny to withdraw. Hmmm.
Is this like standing at the end of a line and yelling out, “Hey, let me in before the concert is sold out?” In de Blasio’s case, “Hey…look at me…I’m waaaaay back here…hey, hey…look, I’m running for mayor….hey, can’t ya see me. Look….look….I’m running for mayor here….pay attention to me damn it! Cripes, what do I have to do, whip out my wiener?”
So anyhow, Antny, (Antny is the way we Italians pronounce Anthony, as in, “ANTNY……come on home the streetlights are comin’ on”) has admitted that he continued to do that wiener stuff on the Internet even after he resigned his congressional seat. And even went into rehab….along with his wiener. But…now isn’t doing that stuff anymore. So, he wants the people of New York city to trust in him, forgive and forget, and elect him and his wiener mayor.
Ya gotta give the guy some credit here. For not only having a very popular wiener, as far as exposing it on the Internet goes, but for having a biggggggg set of balls, which I assume, supports his wiener. After all, it DOES take a bigggggg set of balls to not only support Antny’s wiener, but to go out and hold a press conference and ask for the public’s support for Weiner himself.
His opponents of course will jump at the chance to bring up this latest wiener revelation. Possibly citing the fact that none of them have EVER exposed their wieners on the Internet. In the case of one of his opponents, City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, there’s no doubt there. If ya catch my drift.
Now personally if I were a voter in New Yawk, (Brooklyn accent) I would not give a rats ass if Antny showed his wiener, posted pictures of his wiener on the Internet, had a name for his wiener, or played with his wiener. Or frequented any place advertising “New York System” weiners. Which have nothing to do with Antny Weiner, but are very tasty.
No….I’m NOT gonna touch that last line with regard to either wieners. Or did I just do that?
Look folks….if Antny wants to wave his wiener around all over the Internet, what has that got to do with being capable of being mayor of New York City? Shows that he’s a down to earth type of guy. Ya ever see Michael Bloomberg wave his wiener around anywhere?
Um, but if he did it wouldn’t be the same. Somehow Antny Weiner waving his wiener is much more funnier than Bloomberg waving his whatever. Certainly NOT a wiener. Or a “bloom” or “berg.”
See….only Antny can get away with that.
If Antny’s wife stands behind him, (most likely to avoid getting slapped around by his wiener when he’s waving it) then who are we to say that he should withdraw from the race. Isn’t it up to the voters of New York City to ultimately decide that? Maybe they’re into wiener waving. Cripes, Oscar Mayer waves their wieners around all over the place and ya never hear of any complaints do ya?
Actually when their “Wienermobile” visits various towns people scramble just to see and touch it. Which some people, mainly women, might just do when Antny makes campaign appearances. Um, to see him, NOT to touch his wiener. I think.
Frankly……(as in Fenway Franks) I’d be willing to bet you that Antny’s campaign will not suffer from these latest revelations about his wiener. Most men will obviously support Antny because they have wieners of their own. And you know how us men bond with each other. As well, on various occasions, with our own wieners.
Women, on the other hand, who do not have wieners, but many of whom have had “first hand” experience with various wieners might feel the same way. Feeling that it may be pleasurable to have a wiener, or Weiner, in Gracie Mansion. Sure would be a boom for Coney Island’s wiener business as well.
So, wrapping up all this Weiner business in a bun. I think Antny did the right thing by holding that press conference along with his supportive wife, and briefs, (possibly “Fruit of the Looms”) and just let it all hang out. Good for you Antny.
So, in conclusion, I will leave you all with a thought from that famous philosopher from Galilee who uttered those famous words …….
“Let he who hath no wiener cast the first bun.”
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