You would never think of Al as a Romeo of sorts. I mean, come on folks, we’re talkin’ about Al Sharpton here, not a hunk like Tom Seleck, George Clooney or Danny DiVito. Um, well maybe not really Danny DiVito. And that’s only because DiVito is short like me and we short people only attract stray dogs in lieu of their search for a decent fire hydrant.
So when I came across a news item that ol Al, (58) has hooked up with a hot babe, 35 year-old Aisha McShaw, I immediately said to myself, WTF!
As in, WTF would make a 35 year-old hot woman want to get it on, or whatever, with a 58-year-old guy that strangely resembles a poor man’s Chuck Berry. (photo below)
Then again, maybe she hit on Berry and struck out so Sharpton was the next best thing.
HEY! Look at it this way guys. If ya couldn’t get to first base with Lady Ga Ga because she wouldn’t give you the correct time of day, then ya do the next best thing. Which is find a Lady Ga Ga look-alike. Cripes….so what if she can’t sing or you find her working in a Wal-Mart.
Sharpton was married to his ex-wife Kathy, (now separated) for 24 years when they decided to call it quits in 2004. He met her when she was a backup singer for R&B artist James Brown.
Or like this perhaps: (using a few James Brown songs)
“Al, I “Think” it’s time to say “Goodbye My Love” because “I Got The Feelin” that I am now a “Prisoner of Love” which is leaving me “Bewildered” and it’s gotten to the point that, “I Can’t Stand Myself When You Touch Me.” So, again “Goodbye My Love.”
“But Kathy, “There Was A Time” when you said I was your main squeeze and if you give me a second chance I can, “Get Up (because) I Feel Like Being A Sex Machine.” “I Got Ants In My Pants” so what say we “Get It Together.”
“Sorry baybeee. I know you think that “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World,” but it’s time to “Give It Up Or Turn It Loose.” You’re just “Talking Loud And Saying Nothing.” So I want you, “Out Of Sight” immediately.”
So I guess ol Al and his wife then decided to quit playing all those James Brown songs and actually speak to one another, at which point they decided on separating. Who gets possession of the James Brown records still is up in the air.
So what does his new squeeze do for a living? According to Al, she’s a “personal stylist.” Which is very good for Sharpton considering half the time his hair looks like a bee’s nest.
So now we have one of those May – December relationships. Or is it December – May relationships. Never quite could figure that one out. I mean, there are 12 months in the year. What’s with only those two months when it comes to differences in age relationships?
Do only old guys born in December go after younger women born in the month of May? Or is it younger women born in December who go after ol geezers born in May? And, if you’re NOT born in those two months can ya still nail a younger woman…..or older man? It’s sooooo confusing.
Here’s my other question regarding May – December, or whatever month you choose to screw around with a younger woman in. When asked what her relationship was to Al, she replied, “I’m his girlfriend.”
My question is. GIRLFRIEND?
The guy is 58 freakin’ years old and she’s his GIRLFRIEND!
Let me make my point here on why the term “girlfriend” seems kinda tacky to me.
I’m older than dirt, (71) and my other half is directly behind me when it comes to dirt as well. Ya don’t seeing me running around telling people, “Hey, this here is my girlfriend.” Maybe when I was in my teens I might have used that term. But seventy freakin’ one!
I opt to use the term, “companion” which seems more refined don’t ya think.
Although on occasion when I’m out alone and people ask me who my other half is I have to clarify the word “companion” because they kinda look at me as if, “Oh, you’re one of those same-sex marriage type people aren’t ya.”
Which sometimes makes me think I should be wearing a sign that says, “I’m NOT gay, but, if I were, what’s the big deal?” Besides, I could be “gay” in the “happy” sense, as in, “Gosh, I’m sure having a “gay” time.” Rather than, I’m gay.
I’m sure Marcia Gay Harden has problems with this as well. Ah feel your pain Marcia.
So, in conclusion, expect to see a lot of the Rev. Sharpton with his new “girlfriend,” and, considering she IS a “personal stylist” possibly a new look, (hair) for Al.
Either that, or because he, as I said earlier, strangely resembles Chuck Berry, breaks out in a few Berry songs during a lot of his crusades in order to distance himself from those James Brown songs.
Like maybe, “My Ding-A-Ling.” A Berry favorite by many of us.
Considering his ding-a-ling may be a favorite of his new main squeeze.
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