Ya gotta give televangelist Pat Robertson, (83) some credit for being consistent. Which is consistently being a 100% certifiable idiot. Especially after his latest suggestion. Which is that the social media website “Facebook” should have a “vomit” button option along with its “like” button.
Now first of all, I immediately thought to myself, “Hey…a”vomit” button. Like maybe when people post “gag me with a spoon” photos of stupid stuff.” (I’m NOT gonna comment on exactly what stupid stuff I’m thinking of because I may be guilty of doing that on occasion)
BUT….that’s not what “God’s spokesman” was thinking. Nope. Not by a long shot. Or a short one. He made that “vomit” comment on his Christian show, “The 700 Club,” which I think is the number of idiotic comments he’s made in his life so far. Might be named the “701 Club” after this latest remark.
So what got ol Pat upset this time? It seems some caller called into his network show and wanted to know how to address images of same-sex couples on social media sites, such as Facebook.
Personally I would have said to the viewer, “Well, you address same-sex couples living together or who are married the same way you address different sex couples. Of course the address depends on if they are using the same last names for instance. Like Mr. and Mr. Zorgendorf. Or, if perhaps if they’re using different names like Mrs. Freebush and Mrs. Krazenfern.” How simple is that!
Of course the U.S. Postal System gets very confused when it comes to same-sex relationships because if people living together or are married use different names it screws up their system of sorting mail at the post office because instead of putting one person’s mail in a casing cubicle, they now have to make room for another person with a different name. Which the USPS now calls, “Same Sex Mail.”
However, this is not what Pat was all bent outta shape about. I think he actually loves the USPS because all kinds of donations come into his office via the mail system. So ya know he’s NOT gonna piss them people off.
Nope, he’s pissed off that his caller was pissed off because images of same-sex couples are being shown on Facebook. Which we all know will ultimately mean the end of life here on earth as we know it. Along with masturbation too.
So what did Pat actually say to this caller? This: “You’ve got a couple of same-sex guys kissing, do you like that? Well that makes me want to throw up. To me I would punch “vomit,” not “like.” But they don’t give you that option on Facebook.”
(I checked…..he’s right, there is no “vomit” button option of Facebook)
There was no mention if Pat would punch the “vomit” button if it were two “women” kissing on Facebook.
Do ya kinda get the feeling that Pat does not like gay people? I kinda think so, but, that’s just my guess.
Oh yeah, Pat also said that the land would “vomit out” those who disobeyed the commandments of the Old Testament.
Oops……I think I’m screwed then. I may, inadvertently, of course, have disobeyed one or two of those commandments.
Rats. I’m definitely screwed. Pat’s gonna barf when he learns I disobeyed a commandment or two. Um…..maybe even three. Rats!
Oh well. Not all of us are perfect like ol Pat. He is a wise old fart…oops….sorry….he is a wise old soothsayer of sorts. As soothing goes. For instance, here are some of his more famous sooths courtesy of CNN and the soothsayer fact news team. (not sure if CNN’s Bloof Critzer was on this team)
On adultery: “Males have a tendency to wander a little bit. And what you want to do is make a home so wonderful he doesn’t want to wander.” (like maybe buying a 52 inch 3-D TV with an Internet connection and a free subscription to the porno site, “Voyeurweb”)
On a man with an Alzheimer’s stricken wife: “I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but to make sure she has custodial care and somebody is looking after her.” (I’m sure, when he mentions, “custodial care” he’s not talking about a really good janitorial service. More like hiring Newt Gingrich who has experience in these matters to comfort a spouse with some sort of affliction)
On the role of a man and a woman: “I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, (ready ladies) but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household, and the husband is the head of the wife, and that’s the way it is period.” (Sooooo, who’s in charge of the head on a submarine?)
One last one for good measure.
On the tornadoes that ravaged the Midwest in 2012: “If enough people were praying, (God) would’ve intervened. You could pray. Jesus stilled the storm. You can still storms.”
I’m not sure what he meant by that last one. I think it was either that if you pray hard enough you will never get hit by a tornado or any storm because God will still the storm. Or, if you build a still in your backyard and a storm is approaching you can thank God for your still because you can then get totally blotto as the storm approaches and not really give a rats ass if the storm is stilled or not. Either way, there’s some sort of still stuff going on there.
Come to think of it, I could be wrong about that “700” number meaning the number of times Pat has attempted to make an intelligent comment and screwed it up in the process making it now “701.” Um, maybe it’s the number of people who belong to his club. 700. Kinda like the Mickey Mouse Club. I’m not sure on that one. Sorry.
I am pretty sure that his club does NOT have any Mouseketeers however.
Just as I’m absolutely sure that Facebook is NOT going to institute a “vomit” button on their site.
Although, it wold be nice, considering the number of idiotic things that sometimes appear on Facebook, if they actually had a, “OMG!…are you a freakin’ a**hole or what!” button.
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