Doing The “Catwalk” Without Real Cats


Although this technically can be considered a “catwalk,” this is NOT the type of “catwalk” referred to in today’s blog.

I’m not big on fashion. In fact, to me, fashion is getting dressed in jeans and a T-shirt every morning. That’s about it. Works for me. Besides, who the hell am I or my other half gonna impress other than the mailman and the UPS or FedEx guy. And I’m sure they don’t give a rats ass what either one of us look like when we answer the front door.

However, in France this past week the annual “Haute Couture Fashion Week” runway shows took place. (this did NOT take place on an airport runway) Sometimes you just have to make these things perfectly clear.

A runway, in France, with regard to a fashion show actually is called a “catwalk.” Although no actual kittys participate.  However, and I hate to be crass here folks, but considering the word “pussy” comes into mind, (mine at least) I can understand the possible naming of the runway as a “catwalk” due to the fact that mainly women walk down a catwalk. Just sayin.’

The fashion show encompassed six days of “cat walking” highlighting the works of such fashion designers as “Dior,” (which I pronounce “door”) “Versace,” “Valentino,” (not Rudolph) “Jean Paul Gaultier ” and more.

Is it me or are there a lot of French guys named, “Jean Paul?”


One of the obvious drawbacks of being a very thin model on a catwalk

Anyhow, being the expert that I am on fashion, (yeah right) I took a look from a guy’s perspective at some of these fashion designs all those above mentioned designers think, or hope, will be the hot sellers this year.

So let’s take a look at a few. (for the sake of not having to type all those French names of the designers, I’m just showing the photos of women wearing the fashions)


If you like the, “Intestines” designs, perhaps if you’re a coroner or are into doing autopsies, this may be the perfect outfit to impress those CSI guys.

And then there’s…..


For the discreet woman who is into beekeeping yet wishes to make a fashion statement while collecting honey, this is the perfect outfit



Nothing says, “Look guys, I’m a virgin,” more than this outfit. It also says, “Look guys, I’m a virgin but I can get outta this outfit in a heartbeat.”

Of course the French aren’t the only ones who can come up with really great designs. How about the Russians who not only can come up with something very trendy, but functional as well.


I hope you like my “missile equipped” outfit comrade Putin. I can bend over and launch these babies in a second.

This next creation can be put together at home.


I had absolutely no idea what to wear to this fashion show. Then, in a moment of inspiration, I spotted two skunks walking across my front lawn.

Lest we leave out those creative people at the “American Medical Association.”


How did I come up with this really great idea? Simple. My boyfriend is a doctor and does a lot of colonoscopies

And finally, the Royal Family’s entry.


Early catwalks as sanctioned by the King who was a freakin’ pervert

So there ya have it. The latest hot fashions to hit the catwalks. I’m sure women all over the world are gonna jump at the chance to buy any of these outfits.

But, in conclusion, I personally like the functional designs, as in that Russian girls dress. Never goes out of style.



Lady Ga Ga’s 100% ground beef dress

Hey! If you’re gonna pay a gazillion bucks for one of those French designs and only get to wear it a few times before it becomes outdated, why not go with the Ga Ga ground beef dress. Ya not only get to wear it, but eat it afterwards.

The dress you idiot….not Lady Ga Ga.


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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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