Strange Facts About Cars. Men’s Other Obsession Other Than Boobs.

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Noooooooooooo problem

It’s like this folks. Unless I include the word “boobs” in a blog, I don’t get as many readers as when I DO include the word “boobs” in my blog. So, as you can see, I managed to sneak it in again today when writhing about cars. Hence the title, “Strange Facts About Cars. Men’s Other Obsession Other Than Boobs.” Works for me.

So, with cars, and boobs, in mind, because this blog is about strange facts about cars, you know damn well I’ll sneak a boob or two line in here as well, so let’s get started.

“Yahoo Autos,” along with reporter Jeff Perez from “Boldride,” whatever the heck that is, put together a list of over 50 strange facts about cars. Not wanting to write a complete novel, I skimmed over that list and chose the most strangest of them all. None of which were that a car was made by Audi or BMW that resembled a boob. (I told ya)

Um, maybe a few drivers resembling boobs, but that’s about it.

So here’s a few strange facts.

In 1896 some unlucky person became the very first recorded traffic fatality. Might have been the very first year they shortly thereafter decided to come up with the idea of crosswalks too. Just a guess.car7

The dashboard was originally a piece of wood attached to the front of a horse-drawn carriage that would prevent mud from splattering the driver as the horse galloped. I would assume that as the dashboard progressed in those days that the next addition to the piece of wood dashboard would have been a windshield wiper that cleaned horse poop off of the dashboard as that horse galloped.  Makes sense to me.

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The new 2013 “anti-mouse dashboard detection system.”

  For you racing and NASCAR enthusiasts, stock car racing, (has nothing to do with racing cows) has its origins in running moonshine. Drivers modified their cars so that they could outrun police cars in prohibition-era America. Which is the only reason NASCAR races take place today. Which is to find the fastest racing car, then sell it to moonshiners in Tennessee and Kentucky where they still try to outrun those stinkin’ “revenooers.”

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This is either a photo of revenoors chasing whiskey moonshiners in Kentucky or Tennessee or an early NASCAR race

  Some of today’s “smart cars,” unlike the “stupid truck” I own, can actually hold up to 19 people if ya cram them in verrrrrry carefully. The only problem with this idea is that if just one of those people has a severe case of gas, exiting the car fast can be a problem.car10

Adolf Hitler, that guy with the silly mustache who hung out in Germany a while ago, had been in prison for a short while before becoming that silly guy with a mustache and running the country and running around yelling “Sieg Heil,” which was his dog’s name, I think, back then, actually wrote a letter to Mercedes-Benz, (not the name of his girlfriend) begging a dealership for a car loan. Boy were they screwed when they rejected him and he became the head of Germany. Moral: If some guy is in prison and asks you for a car loan might wanna cut him a little slack.

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Um…can ya wait till I take over Germany

Volkswagen has named a lot of its cars after winds. For instance. The “Passat,” which I personally thought was named after the phrase, “Pissant” is actually named after the German word for wind which is, of course, “Passat.” As is “Gulf,” named after the gulf stream. “Bora,” after bora, which I assume is a wind too. “Polo,” after polo winds. And the “Jetta,” after the jet stream. Those Germans being infatuated with winds, most likely will at some point name a car after Germans breaking wind….say like the, “Pfart.”

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Or “pot” flowers

In South Africa, BMW has some of their cars equipped with flame throwers in order to prevent carjackings. It also has an added option which allows drivers to pull over to any picnic area, haul out a bunch of burgers and dogs, and immediately have a roadside barbecue. Or, if you happen to come across a fresh road kill. Be prepared….their motto in South Africa.

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Ok Marvin….get the BMW

That new car smell that we all love, that lasts about one day once your teenagers get into the car, is composed of 50 volatile organic compounds. None are toxic. With the exception of those socks your teenagers have been wearing constantly for the past week.

It would take you six months to drive to the moon if you could drive straight upwards at 60 MPH. Which begs the question. Why would anyone in their right mind wanna drive to the moon upwards at 60 MPH? Cripes….if you’re gonna drive to the moon obviously there are no speed limits or cops around so why not drive 80 to 110 MPH and get there a lot quicker.

A modern F-1 car…….um….hold on a sec. I forgot….some women do not know what a F-1 car is. So I have to explain. Ladies, (excluding Danica Patrick) an F-1 car is a “Formula 1 Racing Car.” This does NOT mean that if you have an infant on board you can feed it formula while driving.

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Um….does Danica Patrick showing her boobs count as mentioning boobs?

Ok….now that’s explained. A F-1 car can drive upside down in a tunnel at 120 MPH. Now why you would want to drive upside down in a tunnel at 120 MPH is beyond me. And who figured out this car fact is an idiot. OR….he actually attempted this feat and is dead. Either way, don’t attempt this if you have a F-1 car. Why? Because the guys at the end of the tunnel collecting tolls get very pissed off if ya do that.

Here’s one of my favorite car facts. If you hold a remote car key to your head it doubles its range because the human skull acts as an amplifier. Do not attempt this if your remote car key starts your car and your standing in front of the car as your skull might act as an amplifier for the gear shift, in which case gonna get your ass run over. There was no mention in this article that if you hold your remote car starter up to your head while driving if you could then hear your spouse a bit louder as she called you an idiot for doing that.

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However, there is an “anti-idiot remark” option available.

Finally. (I haven’t been able to use the word “boob” as many times as I wanted to in this article yet, but have faith)

Finally, a German car device in that country allows a driver to control the vehicle by the thought process. In other words, you can think something, and the car will act on your thoughts. Unfortunately if your thoughts are directed towards some hot babe with big boobs, (told ya) driving in the car in front of you and you’re thinking you’d like to cop a feel, the police are going to have a very hard time sorting out the details of the accident when they find your car on top of hers.

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F**K! All I was thinking about was how I’d like to be on a ferry to some remote island and this stupid car takes over.

So there ya have it. Actual facts to ponder about cars.

Here’s one last one. If you drive a car, or in my case, a pickup truck with a floor stick shift, nine out of ten times when you are making a critical shifting manuever in heavy traffic on the Interstate doing 60 MPH, a woman will reach over to fetch something, thereby obstructing your ability to shift properly, thereby causing you to either strip your gears, blow your engine, or get rear ended by a semi driven by some boob, (hah) who was tailgating you.

Hmmm…..think I’ll add that one to “Yahoo’s” list.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Strange Facts About Cars. Men’s Other Obsession Other Than Boobs.

  1. Charlie says:

    Then men should stop being so bloody attractive when they drive that big, complicated piece of machinery so us helpless, silly women wouldn’t be overcome with the urge to reach for things.

    • misfit120 says:

      UM……reach for what things? Better be talkin’ about sunglasses or something.

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

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