Every so often I like to delve back into the MisfitWisdom archives and re-post some of my favorite blogs. Mostly because some days I’m too freakin’ lazy to write anything. However, today’s re-posted blog I promised I’d re-post for my friend Charlie in Australia. That was my main reason. Next one was, as I stated, I’m too freakin’ lazy to write anything else.
I will add one more reason to this list. Because it’s a take on “Playboy Magazine’s” interview section where they interview celebrities. So I thought it might be a lame attempt at getting them to give me a call and actually do a live interview with me. I mean, after all, why does it always have to be celebrities they interview. What about us “nobody gives a rats ass about” people.
So, I’m forwarding today’s blog to their publicity department and expect them to respond in their usual way when I send them e-mails. By filing this e-mail in their “delete” folder.
So, here’s a reprise of the “Playboy interview” blog from February 13, 2012
Did you ever read a magazine like Playboy or Time that features an interview with a well-known person. Time usually has a 10 question segment at the end of their magazine while Playboy asks a gazillion questions that usually takes up several pages and at some point borders on insanity.
Like some of the inane questions they ask. It’s like when the perp gets arrested, hauled off to the police station, taken into the windowless interrogation room and the cops try to nail the suspect by asking, “Sooo, ya dirty rotten no good lowdown fink, did ya kill that guy?”
Yeah, like the suspect is gonna come right out and say, “Yeah, I did it.”
Well, it’s that way in those interviews. Basically all the interviewer is gonna get is stupid answers to stupid questions.
Which led me to think of how I would respond to an interview by either “Time” or “Playboy Magazine.” For the sake of argument, I chose Playboy. Only because they seem to ask more inane questions than Time. That, and I get to be sandwiched in between a bunch of naked women in their magazine pages.
Playboy: For over three years on a consistent basis, blogger Misfit has been writing a daily blog from somewhere in Connecticut. We were curious to find out why someone with hardly any social life or friends, and has an obsession with boobs, politics, stupid people and obviously lacking in journalism experience, as well as a deficiency in common spelling, he would subject himself to such ridicule each and every day……besides writing this stuff for free. At least we here at Playboy get paid to do what we do.
Playboy: Misfit, you spend most of your time writing a free daily blog and then at the end of your blog you lower yourself and lose all credibility by begging for donations. Don’t you think you’re acting like a no good rotten lowlife soliciting your blog readers and then dragging in PayPal and making them seem like they condone what the hell you’re doing?
Misfit: Hey, I’m not the one hawking a magazine with a bunch of naked women and charging close to four bucks for it ya know! I do have some morals. I even censored a naked photo of “Blondie” so as not to offend anyone….so there! Anyone can read my blog for nothing and only donate if they want too.
Playboy: So has anyone ever donated?
Playboy: Well maybe you should go with the naked women angle….works for us.
Misfit: But I really don’t have any access to any naked women….um, other than the ones I know at the senior center and nobody wants to see an old naked lady posing with a walker.
Playboy: Are you saying that you’re discriminating against naked old ladies?
Misfit: No, No, No…that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying that there isn’t much demand for old…um….I mean mature women of a certain age with sagging, um…er…I mean less muscle tone and wrinkles, um….I mean more mature looking skin and um………
Playboy: Better quit while you’re ahead. OK……so on to something else. Why is it that when you write a blog you use terms like, “wanna,” “gonna,” “you betcha,” “cause,” “ya know,” and terms that respectable writers do not use. Did you flunk English in high school or something?
Playboy: Yeah, that’s another one!
Misfit: Sorry. But I write the way I talk and……
Playboy: So you talk to other people who you meet sounding like a complete idiot?
Misfit: Um, I never really thought of it that way, but, um, it really doesn’t seem to bother anyone I meet and they understand me completely.
Playboy: Just how many people do you meet on any given day?
Misfit: Um…one….and she lives with me, but, she does understand everything I say!
Playboy: Doesn’t count….she’s obviously prejudiced and after years of living with you has adjusted to your speech deficiency. But, let’s get on to something more revealing about you. You seem to be very obsessed with women’s breasts by writing about them constantly. Are you some kind of damn pervert?
Misfit: PERVERT!…..PERVERT….! Hey, I’m not the one slipping boobs into my magazine under the guise of providing intellectual interviews and in-depth articles between the boob pages. Ya don’t see Lindsay Lohan posing naked in MY blog do ya?
Playboy: That’s only because you can’t afford to pay anyone like Lindsay to pose naked in your blog.
Misfit: OH YEAH! Well if I got some freakin’ donations I might be able to afford Lindsay Lohan in my blog!
Playboy: OK….calm down. Didn’t mean to upset you. But you do realize that you’re just a run of the mill insignificant blog writer and nobody really gives a rats ass what the hell you have to say every day….why even bother writing that stuff….why?
Misfit:Um…..I’m waiting to be discovered by someone who really appreciates good humor.
Playboy: Well it ain’t us….don’t hold your breath waiting for THAT!
Misfit: So, if that’s the case, why in the hell are we doing this interview in the first place?
Playboy: Because this month’s edition of Playboy features an article about really stupid people and we figured you’d be a good fit to go along with this month’s centerfold.
Misfit: Centerfold….who’s in the centerfold?
Playboy: Newt Gingrich.
Misfit: NEWT GINGRICH! But Newt is a guy….you can’t have a guy as a centerfold in Playboy!
Playboy: Look, it’s like I said, this issue is about stupid people, like you, and besides, Newt is in drag.
Misfit: Oh……..in that case, I don’t feel so bad….or stupid.
Playboy: I thought you’d see it our way.
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. If you care to donate you’ll be helping this blog save up enough money to actually have its own centerfold complete with intelligent articles and more naked women…..which costs a lot of money. Um…on second thought, just donate a few measly bucks cause I already checked at my local senior center, several old ladies volunteered, took off their clothes, and I got nauseous…..so I just wanna stick to writing.
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