If you guessed Monica has anything that involves going into a closet and having her demonstrate how she learned to play the oboe…………..forget it you damn pervert.
But, you might not be far off.
We all, (men) have fond memories of Monica’s 15 minutes of fame. (depending on if you consider her 15 minutes of fame in the White House closet or later on when the story of that closet encounter BJ came out) Then again, who knows just how long her 15 minutes of fame lasted. Either in the closet or afterwards.
As I recall from my younger days, the average time for a really good bl…um…..er……neverrrrrr mind. But if ya catch my drift here it was shorter than 15 minutes.
So why is Monica in the news once again. No, it’s not because she made another trip to the White House and convinced Obama to check out a closet with her so as not to be upstaged by Bill Clinton. (Sorry Linda Tripp, no stained dress for ya this time)
Monica is in the news because she needs to get her name in the news because…..um….well…..just because. That’s why.
This time it’s an honest to goodness Monica Lewinsky auction in Los Angeles this Thursday of stuff that you can bid on if you want a piece of BJ history. Not that any of this stuff going up for auction has anything to do with the actual BJ, but it is kinda titillating to think that it might. Enough so that you may want to bid on some of these items.
Besides, I get to use my favorite word, “titillating” once again.
Here are some of the items if you’re interested.
A black negligee that belonged to Monica. (minus any stains)
A signed letter from then President Bill Clinton addressed to Lewinsky’s other lover at the time, her former high school drama teacher Andy Bleiler, (why….I haven’t a clue) and a letter from Lewinsky to Bleiler that includes the line, “am I good at lying through my teeth or what?”
Personally I think that letter to Bleiler might be worth more if it had read, “am I good at holding things softly in my teeth or what?” Just sayin.’
With regard to that letter from Clinton to Bleiler, it wasn’t anything that said, “Hey, for a good time in a closet Monica’s your best bet. Take it from me.” Rather, it’s a letter to him on White House stationary requested by Lewinsky to wish Bleiler a happy birthday in February 1996.
Fortunately I think Clinton had enough sense to seal the letter before giving it to Monica to give to Bleiler lest she slip a condom in it and Bill get nailed for that too.
A bit of hindsight on this guy Bleiler. As I mentioned earlier, he was the “other lover”of Lewisnky’s during the time of the BJ scandal and possibly afterwards. He somehow got his hands on some of the stuff related to the investigation involving the so aforementioned BJ, which, as we all know, is NOT an impeachable crime, but, lying about getting a BJ while under investigation is considered a crime.
Unless you’re a married guy, get a BJ, your wife asks you if you got a BJ, and you lie. Perfectly legal in that case. Only because you’re not a President in office and no one gives a rats ass otherwise. Other than your wife. And even if she has the goods on you, (stained pants) you’ll never get impeached. Murdered maybe….but not impeached.
Anyhow, this guy Bleiler after getting his grubby hands on some of this Clinton stuff, letters, etc, handed them over to special prosecutor Kenneth Starr at the time of the investigation into the 1990s Clinton-Lewinsky scandal. Of course, a little known fact, Bleiler, who was Lewinskys lover as well, was (gasp) also married.
But, Bleiler, not being a President, but just a drama teacher, who may or may not have received BJ’s from Monica, was never impeached. BECAUSE…..nobody gives a rats ass, again, if a drama teacher who is married is getting freakin’ BJs.
Now, if all of this, (here it comes again) if all of this stuff “titillated” you to the point of extreme “titillating” you can actually bid on some of this BJ related stuff of Monica’s.
How. By visiting the “Nate D. Sanders” website. Um…..I have absolutely no clue who the hell Nate D. Sanders is, his relation to Monica Lewinsky, or why he has this stuff to auction off. If you care, go look it up yourself on the Internet. Me…..I could care less.
The bidding is currently going on as we speak, or as I write. It will end at approximately 5 PM PDT on Thursday. Shortly thereafter, at the stroke of 5:00:01 PM the Lewinsky spell will wear off and all items not sold at auction will be returned to their original state.
Which is that black negligee, which will turn into a smock with printed flowers. Those letters will turn into nothing but shopping lists of what to buy in the CVS or Walgreens hygiene department prior to meeting Bill Clinton. And possibly photos of Linda Tripp before and after her plastic surgery.
If you’re smart, you’ll bid on those Tripp pics before the clock strikes 5. Otherwise they revert back to what she originally looked like along with everything else.
I can deal with the smock and the letters changing. No big deal.
But….I don’t think I can handle looking at photos of Linda Tripp before her plastic surgery.
But…..then agian. I’m not bidding on any of this Lewinsky stuff.
I’m waiting for Anthony Weiner’s “Fruit-of-the Looms” to go on an auction site.
Figure I can resell them on eBay for lots of bucks.
To Monica. Just to titillate her.
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