Sooooo….The Government Is Watching Us. Ho Hum.

Breaking news. The government is watching us.

More breaking news. And this should surprise us why?


Um, ok, as soon as I finish reading Dear Abby.

The answer to that burning question. Because most of us have our heads stuck up our butts and could care less what the government does unless…..unless….it’s when Obama is the President. THEN it’s OMFG the government is spying on us. OMFG!


Now close the lid and watch out for my nose

Sooooo. How long has this peeping Tom, or Peeping Obama stuff been going on. Um, say like right after the 911 attacks when the government, under pressure from those in power screamed out, “Hey WTF, how come we didn’t know about these terrorists BEFORE we were attacked.”

Which is when the government decided to take extreme measures, not using the standard measuring tape, and start peeking into people’s bedrooms. Obviously to see if terrorists indeed do have sex and if they don’t, is it because of all those virgins they’re promised after they buy the farm.

Which, when ya think about it, is a really good deal if you’re a terrorist abstaining from sex so that you can save up all that sexual energy for alllll those virgins.

Personally I myself prefer non virgins. Which would disqualify me from ever being a terrorist. Only because, being the cautious sort of guy that I am, I like to try things that have been proven effective first. Like Windows 8 for example. Which is why I’m still using Windows 7.


Damn….you fell for that bunch of virgins stuff too!

Sorry, I’m digressing here.

So the furor this past week over this snooping stuff has nothing to do with “Snoopy,” even though he got his name from cartoonist Charles Schultz for obviously snooping. It has more to do with civil liberties advocates and some constitutional scholars accusing President Obama of crossing the line in the name of rooting out terror threats.

And we all know that the only time rooting works is if you’re at some sports event.  Whereas the terrorists being the team that your team is playing against. Such as if you’re a Red Sox fan and they’re playing the Yankees. In my case, the Yankees being the evil terrorists.


Surveillance cameras catch Snoopy sleeping around

Now, and I hate to say this, but I will, and I DID allude to it earlier in this blog, spying by the government has been going on since God watched Adam and Eve get it on in the Garden of Eden. Cept God did not have sophisticated spying equipment. Just a few guys with wings floating around eavesdropping. Women angels were too busy doing other stuff, like posing for Michelangelo so that he could draw them on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.


Even in Britain they have surveillance systems set up due to recent terrorist activities by old ladies on the Internet

I’ll also mention that the intensive spying was started during the George W. Bush administration and (gasp) voted on by members of Congress. Who, as we all know have a very short selective memory of doing that. With the exception of one very brave former Congressman who has a really big set of Congressman balls to come out and admit that he indeed did vote on spying.

Congressman and ballsy member of the big ball society, Representative Pete Hoekstra, a (gasp) Republican, who sat on the “House Intelligence Committee” for a decade, including as chairman for nearly three years, said that he approved the phone surveillance program but did not know about the online spying.

Ok, so he approved the phone surveillance program to nail terrorists but didn’t know about the online spying. BUT….that’s ok. Obama wasn’t in office when he approved that phone spying stuff. BUT…the online stuff. OMFG!!!

So what did Hoekstra say about that?

“So right now, with these organizations and individuals we’re trying to track, we’ll see a drop off in the ability of these tools, (various surveillance methods) to get beneficial or meaningful intelligence. People, (terrorists) will start putting in protocols to protect themselves from intelligence gathering. It will have a negative effect.. BUT…we’ll just keep coming up with more sophisticated ways to dig into these data.”

Soooo. Does this mean that he would have voted to expand intelligence gathering to include on-line snooping had he been in office, and of course, if Obama were not the President?

Who the f**k knows. Only the Shadow knows for sure. (old radio program dealing with on-line surveillance I think)


If you suspect you are being watched, might as well make the best of it

Furthermore and forsooth, for the record, and a fact, at which point I always say, “facts tend to cloud up the issues,” the government began collecting data from U.S. telephone companies right after September 11, 2001. Which I mentioned earlier. BUT….what your selective “I hate Obama memory” may have just ignored.

Yes….surveillance techniques have expanded to include on-line surveillance, but, that said, does that really surprise any of you. The government has always been at one point or another spying on us. Cripes, Richard Nixon spied on his freakin’ enemies and they weren’t even terrorists.

Unless you count Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young when they tried to make Tricky Dickie look bad by singing that song that Nixon hated, “Ohio.” I personally think Nixon just hated rock and roll music because he wasn’t a great dancer.

All in all government surveillance is nothing nude…um… (the nude part comes in when the government is surveilling you from a parked van outside of your home late at night when you’re having sex) Which is simply a great perk for government surveillance teams who often get bored doing surveillance.


Um….sorry…it’s those  damn zoom in lens

“Hey Ralph, how long we been sittin’ here in this stinkin’ cold van watchin’ that damn suspected terrorist suspect anyhow?”

“Geez Herman, bout six hours I think, and so far we haven’t caught him doing anything that would appear to be detrimental to our government.”

“Sooo, whaddya wanna do?”

“Well, right next door to his house is that woman who’s into some really kinky sex stuff, and with all of this sophisticated surveillance stuff we have here we could really get our rocks off…heh heh.”

Not that they don’t do that now listening to phone conversations and reading on-line posts. Cripes, I’d get my own rocks off reading some of the stuff on the Internet. Not to mention some of the photos that are posted on-line. Which may also be a reason Congress approved all this surveillance stuff in the first place.  And only because being a Congressman can be very boring. You know, nothing to do.


Which is why some of us get neat sex toys for Christmas

So I myself don’t give a rats ass what kind of surveillance the government does to protect us from terrorist attacks and nailing suspected terrorists. If it prevents another terrorist attack…..more power to the government for protecting our butts.

The way I look at it is if I’m NOT a terrorist, then I have nothing to worry about.

Do I care that someone, (the government) may be listening to my phone conversations or reading my on-line posts? NO!

In fact, I wish they would.

Only because I always try to get as many followers to my blog as I can. And if they’re monitoring my blog postings because I used words like, “terrorist” and “sex” and “spying,” cripes, I’m gonna pick up a lot of new blog readers.

Hey….maybe even an invite from Congressional investigators to testify before a Congressional committee who want to know how an old guy like myself can still get it on at my age as evidenced by monitoring my e-mails, phone conversations, and on-line posts.

Eat your heart out Anthony Wiener.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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