For some odd reason “Yahoo” and one of their staff reporters, Claudine Zap, seem to be on a gangster kick. Considering Claudine’s last name is “Zap,” (Mafia term for getting rid of snitches) that may be a reason for her interest in gangsters and posting a few lovable images on the Internet of some famous baddies.
So, always having an interest in gangsters myself, and only because I’ve been fascinated with gangsters ever since I knocked off my first victim, which was an unsuspecting garter snake, and, being Italian myself, I looked at some of these photos posted on Yahoo.
(Disclaimer) The aforementioned garter snake, who shall remained unnamed, was not an intentional hit. It just so happened that it was in the path of my lawnmower at which point it met its untimely demise. It now sleeps with the fishes.
So, here are some of Claudine’s photos of no good nick gangsters beginning with Boston, Massachusetts most famous baddy, Whitey Bulger.
(NOTE: Most bad guy type Mafia guys usually have middle names like, “Louie Da Snake,” “Bruno Knuckles,” and “Herman “Panty Waist” Goldberg,”)
Oh, sorry, that last one wasn’t a gangster but some guy who had hopes of being a gangster but ran a women’s lingerie factory. Sorry.
This next mob figure I don’t really get. I figure that in order to be classified as a real honest to goodness mobster you have to be into mob stuff. You know, putting contracts out on people, or hiring a plumber who’s under contract to do your plumbing. Same thing as a Mafia contract except it involves pipes and things. Which, when ya think about it, could be used to rub out a ratfink. Good smack on the back of a head with a monkey wrench always does the trick.
But, perhaps this guy rubbed out enemies in a different sort of way. We’re talkin’ about union leader Jimmy Hoffa. Who, of course is no longer with us. Speculation is that he is now part of Giants Stadium in New Jersey or part of Interstate I-95.
Da…um…..the next gangster is the famous Alfonse Capone, for which the famous song by Paul Simon was named after, “You Can Call Me Al.” (my guess) Every aspiring gangsters idol.
Then there’s the famous Don from New York, not to be confused with “Don Everly” of the Everly Brothers, but John Gotti, whose real name IS “John” and not “Don” but they called him the “Don” anyhow, which really pissed him off.
Actually they called him ‘Teflon Don” which pissed him off even more because most of his kitchen ware at his home was not made out of teflon. He much preferred Revereware and would much rather have been called, “Revereware Gotti.” He also had a lot of “Tupperware” as well, but given the fact that another gangster had already claimed the name, “Tupperware Lidsey Frappozini,” Gotti settled for the “Teflon” moniker as by the time he considered changing his nickname, it was already on all of his credit cards and too much of a pain in the ass to change.
Carlos Gambino, yet another mob big time star in the world of mobdom, unfortunately was gunned down while eating at a steakhouse. John Gotti, (above) inherited the Gambino enterprises after Carlo met his unfortunate demise. Eating at steakhouses was not the best thing to do when you’re a mobster. Everybody knows mobsters love steak, as well as Italian food, such as spaghetti, so breaking his own rule of not being a sitting duck at a steakhouse or Italian restaurant may have led to Gambino’s eventual end. Had he simply chosen to eat at a McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s or a Subway restaurant he might still be alive today.
Bugs Moran, lovingly called, “Bugsy” by his closet friends, is pictured here along with his unidentified moll. Observing this photo carefully it’s plain to see how Bugsy got his name. It’s quite obvious that Moran was not into a good hygiene regimen as evidenced by the bugs crawling along his white shirt along the collar. Most likely ants. He also, it appears, had very bad taste in women. Then again, what self-respecting women who’s really hot looking is gonna date a mobster that has ants crawling all over him and who people call “Bugsy.”
So that’s Claudine and “Yahoo’s” list of famous gangsters. BUT….she inadvertantly omitted two of the most famous gangsters of all time. Which, of course, is my civic gangster duty to list for you. Otherwise you’d be totally gangster uninformed.
The foist….um….sorrry…(gangster lingo again) the first is the most famous gangster of all time, “Da Godfadder,” Marlin Brando.
AND…..Christine, lest we forget, the most famous of all gangsters on da face of the eoith….er…..Earth…..(gangster lingo once again) none other than “Joe, WTF You Lookin’ At You Motherf***er,” Pesci.
So there ya have it folks. The most famous gangsters on the face of the planet. Some still with us, others long gone and in Mafia Heaven. Or, that other place where they don’t need matches for their cigarettes.
Today’s Mafia gangster blog courtesy of Yahoo, Christine Zap, (Christine, stay away from steakhouses) and yours truly, “Dickie Da Nose.”
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