Its been quite a long time since I’ve been able to award the MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather” award to someone or something that so well deserves that highly coveted honor. But, today my little feathered friends, FINALLY a winner.
Today’s award is presented to the “Fox Television Network” for outstanding stupidity in the category of “Worst TV Show Program Idea Ever.” Subtitled, “WTF!”
Yet another network brain has come up with yet another reality show because they know that with all of today’s technology people’s brains are turning to mush and they can’t comprehend anything that makes sense or requires having a working brain. So what to do? Give them another reality show that does not require a brain.
“Honey Boo Boo” viewers pay attention here.
Here’s the concept of this new reality show called, “”Does Someone Have To Go.”
And, before you get all excited, the title of the show does not mean that it’s about cameras filming people who have to go to the bathroom. I know, you’re disappointed.
The show is about the firing of real people. YES! Cameras go into small businesses and employees are asked to rat out underperforming co-workers. At the end of the program they get to recommend which co-worker should be fired. How neat is that!
There was no mention in this story by David Bauder of the AP as to if there is a sequel followup where the fired employee returns to the office the next day and beats the livin’ crap out of all the other employees who voted to have him or her fired. Might have to be another Fox TV reality show entitled, “How I Beat The Livin’ Crap Outta My Co-Workers.”
One magazine, according to the AP, called it a step toward public executions. Which, most likely, considering Fox’s penchant for cutting edge stupid reality shows, might be on the horizon. “FOX PRESENTS…..PUBLIC EXECUTIONS.” Sponsored by the family friendly, “Forsnick Funeral Home.” At Forsnick, our motto is, “Death is just nature’s way of telling you to slow down.”
The very first show had sixteen employees participate. Labels were given to some of them such as the, “procrastinator,” the “motor mouth,” the “jerk,” the “slacker,” and the “tattle-tale.” I personally would have inquired as to where in the hell the freakin’ “back-stabber,” was. Which surely would have been a big draw in the first episode. Every office has a back-stabber. Sometimes front-stabbers too. That of course depends how quickly you can turn around when being approached by a back-stabber.
Oh…..damn! Almost forgot the ever popular brown-noser. As evidenced by their brown noses. Which, for a brown-noser, is an occupational hazard considering breathing is very difficult when you have your nose stuck up your bosses ass. OSHA, (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) should really look into that.
So how does this ratting out on your co-worker process take place? Well, each employee is interviewed on camera talking about their colleagues, then everyone is called into a conference room to see what the others said. (not that that would piss anybody off mind you) Then, as an added incentive to actually piss off everybody, they are also told each others salaries before voting on three of their colleagues that most deserve to be fired.
“Hey, I vote that we fire that no good SOB Harvey Znockdirk. I can’t believe he gets fifteen bucks an hour for keeping the employee cafeteria stocked with blueberry muffins. WTF is with THAT?”
“Calm down Herman. Harvey is well justified in getting fifteen bucks an hour.”
“Oh yeah….why is that!”
“Because he personally bakes those blueberry muffins using his own home-made secret blueberry muffin recipe and it makes everybody in the office happy.”
“Oh yeah…..why is that!”
“He uses marijuana in his recipe.”
“Oh…um…ok….I guess he deserves fifteen bucks an hour then.”
So the reality show goes on through the process of elimination until eventually, over the course of a few weeks of airing this inane nonsense, one person out of the remaining three that were left gets to keep their job.
As the show’s executive producer, Chris Abrego puts it, “It is absolutely not cruel. It’s not like a random firing. It really is a process of them proving their value to the company.”
Yeah….um…..did ya mention that this is on national TV Chris, and that when that person gets fired EVERYBODY on the face of the planet will know that he or she is a freakin’ LOSER!
So like how do ya list that on your resume after you get fired from this show?
However there IS a bright spot to all of this. Besides the fact that you can opt not to watch this show and perhaps actually DO have a brain. Excluding “Honey Boo Boo” viewers that is.
The bright spot is that each employee who agreed to be part of the show would be paid $1,500. And, the producers would contribute $10,000 toward a severance package for anyone fired.
Ok…..here’s the deal. Try to get on this show by pitching the idea to your boss. Then, if Fox actually chooses your company to participate, start acting like a complete a**hole in your office. (NOTE: for some of you this may be fairly easy)
Include all of the traits that would make you a shoe in to win the ten grand. Which would be, being a jerk, slacking off, being a tattle-tale, farting and burping, not showering for a week or at least until the show is over, and best of all, strapping your nose to your bosses butt with duct tape.
So, in conclusion folks, I for one will NOT be watching this program. After 50 years in the work force and seeing my share of all the above stuff I just mentioned, why in the freak would I want to conjure up painful memories of a**holes in the workplace once again? Including commercials from Fox.
If I were THAT into that stuff all I’d have to do is go back to work and see it all over again on a daily basis………..
and with no commercials.
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