Holy Dough Batman! A better donut and it’s only five dollars!!!! Geez…I’ll take several dozen of those babys. Here’s my $430.
Um….wait a sec. FIVE DOLLARS a freakin’ donut? Are you nucking futs? I can get a better deal at Dunkin Donuts ya jerk.
BUT WAIT! Maybe this donut is worth five bucks. Or not. I guess it depends on how hooked you are on donuts. Or, if you’ve just been discharged from a donut addiction facility and are presently going off the deep end and need a donut fix.
So what the hell is going on here anyhow? Well, it’s like this folks. A pastry chef in New York City, Domnique Ansel, wants to get you hooked on his new donut creation called the “Cronut.” (no crows were involved in the creation of this new donut)
So here’s what your five hard-earned bucks get you. A half-croissant and half-donut hybrid. Frankendonut. And, according to ABC News, it’s taking New York by storm. As taking storms go.
This new “cronut” is made up of layers of croissant dough that are deep-fried and filled with vanilla cream. The inside of the cronuts are flaky and light and its shell is crispy and warm. (is it possible to have a sexual sensation reading the description of that cronut?)
The cronuts are rolled in rose sugar, (not the name of a popular New York stripper) and finished with a rose glaze. (also not the name of a popular New York stripper) Ansel changes the flavors each month with this month’s flavor being vanilla cream with rose frosting, (I think this one is actually the name of a New York stripper) and candied rose petals.
Actually any of those names could be New York strippers when ya think about it. Rose Sugar, Rose Glaze, Rose Frosting and even Candied Rose Petal.
“Hey baybee, I wasn’t in the mood for anything, but once I had one of those cronuts all that “rose” stuff went right to my brain, or pants, and now I’m hooked.”
“Ooooooo honeeeee. You want my body?”
“Freak no, I want more cronuts!”
Ansel says that he tried 10 different recipes and the first ones were a total disaster. “If you just used regular dough, the butter will melt, the layers will slide off and you won’t have anything that’s nice.”
Similar to using regular dough, like one dollar bills when you want to get into kinky stuff with your partner using butter and your partner calls you a cheap skate, slides off of you and you won’t have anything that’s nice.
Sorry, it’s the only logical comparison I could make that my blog readers would understand. As well as myself.
Ansel’s donuts are selling like hotcakes, although they’re not really hotcakes, but donuts, as we’ve explained in this story, but, for comparison sake, we’ll just say they’re selling like hotcakes. Although I think hotcakes are cheaper.
Since their debut a few days ago, New Yorker’s have been lining up outside his bakery, the “Dominique Ansel Bakery,” every morning to taste the popular pastry, which as I stated earlier, sells for $5 buck a pop…..or cronut. And, if you have a donut addiction and want to try these cronuts and plan on driving to New York City to scarf down a few of them, better hurry………they’ve been selling out of cronuts within an hour of opening.
Now I personally love donuts. My favorite being “Dunkin Donuts” chocolate covered lemon filled donuts which I campaigned relentlessly to have stocked in my local DD donut shop. And have to drive an 18 mile round trip once a week to buy.
But, would I drive to New York City to buy a $5 dollar cronut? Nope. If I just happened to be in New York City and passed by one of Ansel’s donuts shops would I buy one of those $5 dollar donuts? Nope. Only because at any given time I never have more than two bucks on me. Which is enough for my lemon filled donut, but not for a cronut.
Otherwise, if I WERE in N. Y. City and came across Ansel’s cronuts and had more than $5 bucks on me, I’d be in donut rehab the next day.
But, when you love donuts as much as I do money is no object.
If I actually had money that would not be an object.
Which is the main reason 9 out of 10 times, with the exception of making that 18 mile round trip once a week to Dunkin Donuts, I have to settle for my own less expensive version of a cronut.
I call it the “mufnut.” A cross between a muffin and donut. Quite simple. Slice a muffin in two, drill a hole in the enter of it, slap some jelly filling on it, and wha-la! …..a “mufnut.”
I’m thinking of opening my own “mufnut” bakery locally and charging $4 bucks each for each “mufnut.” Gotta undercut the competition, (Domnique) ya know.
Oh yeah…..as an incentive, any stripper named Rose Sugar, Rose Glaze, Rose Frosting, or Candied Rose Petal gets a discount.
Just sayin’ ladies.
(NOTE) Should you wish to visit Domnique’s bakery-cafe, they are located at 189 Spring Street, New York City. 212-219-2773
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