Um, Are Dildos, Condoms and Vibrators Considered, “Tools of the Trade?”

Ya know, I never considered that when one speaks of “tools of the trade,” that perhaps one is referring to the various tools used to perform ones trade if one is a hooker…….or, running, so to speak, an escort service.

But, apparently “tools of the trade” can mean any trade as long as there are tools and trade involved….I guess.


As in this instance where a plunger can actually be called a tool of the trade. NEXT

Now first of all, some of you may have said to yourselves, “OMG! There he, (Misfit) goes again writing stuff about sex, dildos and vibrators. WTF is wrong with this guy.”

I wish at this point in time to state that “I” Misfit, did NOT come up with this story on my own. Not that I wouldn’t have if I had been the one to find in on the web, but it wasn’t me. So there! I’m 100% innocent.halo

However, that said, it appears to me that some, or at least one, of my Australian friends, who shall remain unnamed, (Charlie) has me pegged as to what stories catch my attention. And knows full well that I can’t pass any up on any stories that contain the words sex, madams, dildos and vibrators all in the same article. Charlie….you are so onto what makes me tick.

But, keep in mind that this story about all this sex stuff is out of Australia. So, if ya had to choose between who is the pervert here, would it be innocent Misfit who is simply writing this story so that all of you can be informed as to what the hell is going on right before your eyes, or should it be Charlie, who’s reading this stuff and forwarding it to me.

I rest my case. As weak and feeble as it may be.


Glendambo, South Australia….need I say more.

So anyhow, on with this story. An escort service in the land down under, because obviously it’s “down under” us somewhere if you’re from somewhere above, has threatened to pull up stakes and leave town after some “tools of her trade” were stolen from here car while she was on the job.

“On The Job?” Hmmm…..wonder if this means she was actually “on the job” as in “on someone,” most likely a male, and therefore that being considered as being “on the job,” as the “job” would be the person (male) she may or may not have been “on.” Thin line there folks. We’ll have to sort that out some other time. Or, let the police handle it.

Now Tracey Randall, the owner of “Minnie Maid,” which I assume is the name of her escort service, said that all of her “bag of tricks,” containing vibrators, strap on dildos, condoms and other booty was the “last straw.”

(straws were not part of her offering when it came to providing services)


Lets have a “hand” for another on the” job” service from “Minnie Maid”

(stop your gasping, “I” didn’t draw that damn cartoon….it was just too funny to pass up. Shoot the cartoonist not the messenger)

Yes, I agree with ya Tracey. How can any self-respecting woman running a Minnie Maid service expect to clean a house without having the proper “tools of the trade,” like those dildos to get into very tight spots when you’re cleaning. Or condoms to protect against catching germs when you’re in those very same tight areas. And the vibrators for obviously vibrating rugs to get the dust out. All tools of the trade for any respectable maid escort service.


Madame Tracey Randall of Minnie Maids’ escort service. I don’t EVEN wanna know what that device she’s sitting on is used for when it comes to cleaning whatever.

Apparently the passenger window of her vehicle was smashed while she was, as she put it, “doing overtime with a customer” at a local motel.

Yes, “overtime” folks. Which as we all know usually occurs when a place is really dirty and leads to a lot of maid overtime service work, or the customer is really dirty and needs a lot of maid “overtime” service work. Completely understandable.

Tracey says that she is completely fed up with the violence and crime in the area saying that, “I’m fed up with it. I’ve had enough of the violence and crime in town and there’s nothing done about it.” Which I also just said that she said.

So basically she’s throwing in the ol cleaning towel and just giving up.


Rover, unlike Tracey, decided NOT to give up

So what to do? I guess suck it up, (the cleaning stuff business) and move on to another town. My guess anyhow.

But, as “sucking up” goes, (not sure if this has anything to do with vacuum cleaners or is part of her business offerings) Tracey says that she will dump the escort cleaning maid whatever ya call it business and try to get a job as a mine truck driver in WA or Queensland.

Yep, like I always say. If ya can’t make it as a hooker, screw it, become a mine truck driver.

She says that the mines are “crying out for female drivers. They feel that females are easier on the vehicles.”

Um, Tracey, did ya bother to check to see if they were referring to their actual vehicles or if they call their male mine workers “vehicles.” Sometimes you just have to clear these things up. Ya never know. One minute you’re hired as a mine truck driver for a mine company and the next thing ya know you’re riding a mine truck driver who doesn’t mind……..or mine.


Either this means rescuers have arrived or it’s Minnie’s Maid Service

So ya see folks, it isn’t just us here in the states that have people wondering, “WTF is going on out there?” There are strange people willing to push the ol envelope EVERYWHERE walking around freely with absolutely no supervision. And you wonder why reality shows are such a big draw on TV. Well, here’s your answer.

Normal everyday people just don’t cut it anymore in today’s “I wanna know WTF is goin’ on” society. I, of course, consider myself to be in the “normal” category, but I’m a little bit worried about the rest of you out there. Remember, “I’M” only writing this stuff.

Um, Charlie, I’m beginning to worry a lot about you too. Um, I’m only kidding. I’m only worried a little. Um, maybe just a tad. But luv ya just the same.

Then again, living in Australia where a woman wants to file a claim for having her dildos, vibrators and condoms ripped off is something we’d NEVER do in the states.

Unless of course our supply of dildos, condoms and vibrators actually did fall under the “tools of the trade” category.

Some of you here in the states might wanna keep any eye out on how Tracey fares with her claim.

If she wins her claim and gets compensated for her loss, I suspect a lot of hookers who have suffered this devastating loss will be filing claims under, “tools of the trade.”

Why take this loss laying down. So to speak.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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2 Responses to Um, Are Dildos, Condoms and Vibrators Considered, “Tools of the Trade?”

  1. swedenole13 says:

    Why do ya s’ pose they call it “down under”? I keep wondering if your friend Charlie is also known as Peter… weird old Aussie Pal? I think it’s the sun does it to them!! LOL

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