It Was Either Writing About Big Boobs, Or, Small Cars. I Went With The Cars….(sigh)

I really just got over boobed this week folks. If that’s at all possible for ANY male slug. But, I figured I’d lay off the big boob story this time and concentrate on boobs…um…I mean small cars.

HEY! It’s not easy passing up on a story about some doc who says that he can give women bigger boobs by using hypnosis ya know. However, I watched the video of him hypnotizing some woman so that she could have bigger boobs and I became entranced myself and felt a tingling in my chest so I immediately bailed out of that video.

Lest I suddenly have to do some shopping in the women’s department because that stupid hypnosis video had an effect on me.

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“So let me see if I understand this. You went to a hypnotist to make your boobs bigger, and your husband got so excited, so to quiet him the doc made him think he was a dog and forgot to bring him out of the trance.”

So, I opted to write about something smaller. Dwarf cars. Which is pretty safe to write about and has nothing to do with big boobs. Yet.

Out in Arizona there’s a guy who builds dwarf classic cars. Ernie Adams, 72, (no relation to Gomez Adams…Adams Family) No, he DOES NOT use any dwarfs to build these cars. Sometimes ya just have to make these thing perfectly clear. Not that my blog readers aren’t smart enough to know what I meant, but sometimes my blog readers aren’t smart enough to know what I meant.

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Ernie is a really good fast talking car salesman. Can sell ya anything!

Ernie has spent more than five decades building miniature cars, dubbed “Dwarf Cars” beginning as a mere child in his hometown in Harvard, Nebraska.

He uses mainly junk parts and crafts the cars from odds and ends. (no food scraps involved)

He only uses three tools to make these cars. A chisel, hammer and a hacksaw. Same tools Detroit used when they manufactured the Edsel, which may account for the lack of sales they had with that car. All those hammer  and chisel marks kind of took away from the actual beauty of the Edsel…..NOT!

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NOT your father’s Edsel

As you can see by some of the photos I’ve posted here, they are actual duplicates of cars and they actually work. You could realistically get into one of those dwarf cars, zoom down the highway as in a regular sized car, and you’d never know the difference. Unless you had a run of bad luck, and got run over by a semi or fell into a manhole.cars1

His 1949 turquoise Mercury sedan, (shown above) is street legal and he’s named it the “Rebel Rouser.” The engine came from an old Toyota; the grille, body and fenders were all fashioned over a hand-built tube frame; the rear window was taken from the windshield of a 1966 Chevy pickup, and the dashboard has all the standard functions, including radio, dashboard lights and a defroster, which came from a refrigerator door.

Which means you have a fully loaded dwarf car and can store frozen food in your glove compartment if your home fridge runs out of space. My guess anyhow.

I guess you could call his creations “Frankencars.”

“ALIVE I TELL YA……ITS ALIVE!!!!!!!”

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There are some disadvantages to owning a small car with a sunroof  however

Now you might be interested in actually seeing these dwarf cars, because if you are a dwarf and want to buy one, or if you’re not a dwarf and are just short like myself, and you’re tired of trying to reach the gas pedal because your other half is taller than you, (as in my case) so she has to put the seat back farther, then a dwarf car might be just the thing for you…..and I. Ernie has a”Dwarf Car Museum” in Maricopa, Arizona.

We short people, and dwarfs, have to worry about not being able to reach the gas and brake pedals, especially if your spouse or girlfriend is taller than you, and you have one of these dwarf cars.  The only two options are either throw them in the back seat, or tell them to take  freakin’ hike. Works for me.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to own a Dodge Ram pickup with a stick shift and a bench seat that can only be adjusted either for the driver or my other half. So, guess who wins out. Yep, my other half.

“Oh honeeeeee, my knees are scrunched up against the dashboard, could ya please put the seat back.”

So, being the kind gentleman I am, and because she can kick my ass if I refuse to do anything, I obviously comply.

(on the road cruising through town)

“Crunch…..scrape…..grind….!”

“Cripes! What the hell ya doing Misfit?”

“Um, tryin’ to get my truck into second gear cause I can’t reach the freakin’ pedals ya damn fool!”

 

So, a dwarf car would be just fine as far as I’m concerned. Not that I could actually afford to have Ernie build me one. But, I did notice that he had an older model pickup which may fit into my budget….real classy too. (below)

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Yep….a little buff job with some wax and it’s a beauty

So if ya see me driving down the road in my new dwarf pickup, try to cut me a little slack if I’m going a bit slow. Only because I’m not sure if Ernie builds these cars and trucks with airbags.

So if I should be involved in a rear end crash I could be in danger of injuring myself if there are no airbags in these dwarf vehicles…………………UNLESS………….

Unless I convince my other have to visit that hypnosis doc and be hypnotized into growing huge boobs, which would serve as air bags and obviously cost me a lot less.

You knew I was going to get back to the boobs in today’s blog didn’t you……..

Sorry….it’s a sickness……most males suffer from it too.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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4 Responses to It Was Either Writing About Big Boobs, Or, Small Cars. I Went With The Cars….(sigh)

  1. charlie says:

    Air bags, big boobs? Hmmm..

  2. swedenole13 says:

    Now if men could just grow some boobs! Would alleviate having the Missus along in case of accident!

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