Martha Stewart Has Legs….The NRA Convention….They Have Arms.


Plead the 5th

I centered today’s blog on two subjects today. Martha Stewart and the NRA. Why? Because I write this blog and I can decide on whatever the freak I wanna write about. So there! Doesn’t have to make any sense…..I just do it.

Which is one of the perks about not getting paid to write stuff. You can write whatever the hell ya wanna write about and do not have to answer to any idiot who thinks they know more than you do. Which a lot of people actually do, know more than I do that is, but, that said, I don’t give a rats ass.

So, I’m highlighting Martha Stewart’s gold leggings that she wore at the premiere of Wednesday’s nights “The Great Gatsby,” which was a surprise to me, considering I always thought The Great Gatsby had already been premiered a long time ago. Then again, as I said earlier, what the hell do I know.

Martha sported a tight-fitting pair of gold leggings, an oversized peach jacket, a white blouse, peep-toed pumps and those gold sequined cropped leggings. Not bad for a 71-year-old woman. Then again, I’m a 71-year-old geezer, so any woman my age wearing something that emphasizes their body is gonna look damn good to me.martha 3

Actually, any woman 71 years old that’s still breathing, not sporting a scooter, cane, oxygen tank, wheelchair, walker or beard looks good to me. Ya can’t be tooooo choosy at my age.

So bravo to Martha for showing off her stuff. She looks damn hot to me.

Then again, it’s been two years since I’ve had my glasses updated.

Onward: The NRA Conventionnra-cartoon

This weekend, as we speak, or, as I write, the NRA (National Rifle Association) is holding their annual convention in Houston, Texass….oops….sorry, that’s Texas. I only added that extra “s” in the state’s name due to the fact that there are still groups in Texas who want to secede from the union and tell the government to shove their laws up their behinds.

In other words, “Hey Obama and you stupid Washington jerks, we don’t need no stinkin’ government tellin’ us what the f**k to do….so stick it!”

“Um….as long as you’re reading this letter from us secede people, could ya send us a gazillion dollars in aid to help the victims of that fertilizer plant explosion……..then you can go stick it.”

So, the NRA in Texas, (where else) and their supporters of the almighty 2nd amendment, (the right to arm bears) are all gonna meet to discuss whatever it is they discuss at those NRA conventions. The right to arm bears I guess.

But what strikes me as odd, is two of the notable people they will have speaking at that convention. Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck.

It’s like, if I were attempting to secure a loan at a bank would I have notorious bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde co-sign my loan application?

WTF does Sarah Palin have to say about guns other than she likes to kill animals out in the Alaskan woods that would make a case for the NRA’s stance on gun control? Other than she likes to shoot unarmed animals out in the Alaskan woods.


Smokey The Bear….call home immediately!

“Yep, ah saw that damn bear standin’ thar jest lookin’ at me and ah said to myself, damn Sarah, betcha he’s not armed. So I shot the SOB.”


“Sarah! Sarah! What’d ya do with the bear after ya shot the livin’ bejesus outta it?”

“Oh…heh, heh, nothin’ really, I jest let him lay there and put another notch in my gun. Besides, I contributed to the forest food chain. Them other animals will eat that sucker.”


What, or who may be the next President of the NRA, Jim Porter ya all.

I suspect Ms. Palin will receive a standing gun-toting bunch of yahoos, yelping  and applause at the NRA convention. Possibly some chants of, “Run Sarah Run!” For what, I haven’t a clue. Possibly from bears if they ever get the right to arm themselves.


Sorry kiddies……Christmas has been cancelled this year

Now for Glenn Bozo..oops…I meant Beck. He has as much credibility as Bernie Madoff telling you that he has a really great investment deal for ya……..from his jail cell…….where he now resides.

Beck is the master of government conspiracy theories.

I have my own conspiracy theory of Beck. That he owns stock in a blackboard and chalk company. My guess anyhow.


Now if he had included UFO’s and aliens I might have bought it……

I just cannot understand why the NRA would feature two off the wall, and a few other places as well, people who, in my own humble worthless opinion, are freakin’ nut cases. If ya wanna make a point and at least appear to be credible, for Gawd’s sake get somebody up there at your meeting that at least has the respect of a majority of Americans.

Like Miss Piggy or Kermit the Frog. EVERYBODY respects them!

But Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin?  I don’t get it.  Maybe its just to ramp up the crowd. Like on Hee Haw.


Photo from last years NRA convention….I think

In conclusion folks, with all of the debate on gun control going on and various groups pro and con on the gun control issue, you would think the NRA would make an attempt to   appear somewhat serious and not make this convention a side-show with the appearance of Beck and Palin.

Might wanna skip my suggestion of Miss Piggy and Kermit too. On second thought, either one of them don’t have a serious bone….um….stuffing in their bodies.


Um, no…I was right the first time… is “bone.”

So, it will be interesting to see how the NRA convention turns out.

Personally, not owning a gun, because, 1. I can’t afford one, 2. I don’t have three weeks of free time to fill out my states (Connecticut) paperwork, and 3. There ain’t nothin’ to shoot in my backyard except squirrels and that damn pesky black snake. And they aren’t allowed to carry guns, like bears, either. Fair is fair.

However, should my bank ever decide to once again attempt to charge me for using their ATM’s, I might consider buying a gun.

Just to shoot that damn ATM machine and get my freakin’ cash with no fees.

Justifiable atmocide……………………..

Just sayin.’



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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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