“Not Tonight Dear.” FINALLY……A Solution! (for men at least)

First of all, let me state that as a 100% red-blooded American male I have had my share of hearing, “Not tonight dear” excuses when it comes to sex. Secondly, let me state that “I” am only writing about this today because FINALLY….someone has come up with a list of why having more sex is good.relation5

As unbelievable as it is, the “7 Reasons To Have More Sex”  article was written by….of all people….a WOMAN!  Yes…a real life honest to goodness woman. Go figure.

The woman, Diana Vilibert wrote the article for “Care2 Healthy Living.”  And, you know what they say. If it’s on the Internet, (as in a TV  commercial ad states) it has to be true. So I’m going with it folks.

Diana lists seven reasons to have more sex. Sooooo….ladies…..if Diana sez there are seven reasons we should have more sex, who the hell am I to dispute her findings. And…..why in the hell would I want to. I’m not stupid ya know.

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Then again, cupid DOES screw up on occasion

Ok…..let’s take a look at what this wonderful woman, obviously a candidate for sainthood, has to say are the reasons all of us, men and women, should have more sex.

“It Boosts Your Immune System:” Apparently having sex just once or twice a week has been linked to having higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin, which can increase your protection from colds and other infections by up to 30 percent.

Soooo…..my thinking is that instead of following that old advice of an “apple a day keeps the doctor away,” it should be revised to read, “a bounce in the hay keeps the doctor away.” Not to mention the money you’ll save by not buying expensive apples or having to pay for a doctor’s visit.immune 1

“It’s Good For Your Heart.” A study that spanned 20 years found that men who had sex two or more times per week were half as likely to have a fatal heart attack compared to men who had sex less than once a month. AND….for women, sex increases levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease.

HAH! More proof that men are dying off in droves because you women are denying us pleasure.Where the hell are your consciences. Help us men live longer and have more productive lives by helping us keep our hearts strong and your estrogen levels up. Sex after every Leno or Letterman show every night! My thinking anyhow.heart1

“It Strengthens Some Important Muscles.” I know what you male perverts are thinking with regard to strengthening some muscles. One in particular. But that’s not what Diane is talking about. Um….actually I think she is.

She asks if any of you have ever peed when you laugh?  Personally I’ve never done that, but my other half….um….neverrrr  mind. Diane goes on to add that you can blame weak pelvic floor muscles. Whatever the hell those are. I guess pelvic muscles that are closer to the floor or something.

Sex can tone those muscles that support a women’s uterus, bladder, and bowel. It’s compared to doing Kegels with a partner.

Hmmmm. I know, a lot of guys are now saying to themselves, “WTF is a Kegel?” As I myself said. So, as a pubic….um….sorry, as a public service I have a video for you to watch by a professional “Kegelist,” (my word) which is not only informative, but….(pant) titillating. (you know I love to use that word whenever I can)

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“Dear….it’s not about safe sex…..it’s about your peeing.”

Here’s Ms. Michele of “micheleonline77” to tell you all about it. Men, try to pay attention to her explanation. I know it may be difficult to concentrate on what she’s saying, but try anyhow.

http://youtu.be/Wd_4Dd4hP_o

Onward.

HEY! Quit playing that video over and over and pay attention here for cripes sake!  This next tip is about glowing.

o

Oops…..sorry…..wrong cartoon about glowing

“The Glow Is Real.” Diane is referring to that post-sex glow. (not a black light or disco ball some of you may have in your bedrooms) There’s a hormone called, “dehydroepiandrosterone,” (Gesundhiet) that shows increased levels during sexual excitement and it also does everything from improving cognition, (awareness) to keeping skin healthy and repairing tissue.

Which basically means you can cancel your appointment with a plastic surgeon and just have more sex and in no time you’ll look fantastic and you’ll be the envy of all of your friends. Just by having more sex. How simple is THAT!

ok

Example of just how great you and your partner can look from having a lot of sex

“It Might Cure Your Headache.” (Is this woman definitely up for sainthood or what)

Diane writes that some people who suffer from migraines and cluster headaches, (mostly married women when their spouse asks for sex) have found that the endorphin release that comes after an orgasm, (not playing an organ in a church) offers some release from their debilitating headaches.

As the ol headache excuse is the holy grail for all married women……..sorry ladies, you’re screwed now……..literally.

q

Women…..do your part to save the male species….take an Aspirin two hours before bedtime

“It’s A Calorie Burner.” Well DUH! I already knew that. Cripes, I’ve lost 10 to 15 pounds just burning those calories having sex. Um, in my mind of course. But I have attempted to convince my other half that this indeed is a true fact. And now, Diane confirms my belief that it does by stating that sex can be a great exercise option.

An average half-hour session can burn between 75 and 150 calories, comparable to an easy yoga session or a walk. Not only that, but arousal and orgasm also releases testosterone in your body, a hormone that, among other things, helps the body maintain lean muscle tissue.

d

“Charlene! Wait! There’s a less drastic way to lose weight!”

Hold on a sec folks.

“Honeeeeee. Cancel our gym membership and forget about taking that three-mile walk over at the park later today. I think I have some better exercise options…heh, heh.”

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“Hey…..I resemble that remark!”

And her final reason for having lots of wild off the wall hot sex…um…well, she didn’t actually use those words, but you get the point here. Diane says, “It Helps You Sleep.”

Next time you can’t sleep. (are ya listening dear) try having sex. (YES!) Orgasms release oxytocin, (not the stuff Rush Limbaugh takes) one of the brain’s stress-relieving chemicals. Sex also involved muscles contractions and movement that deplete the body of energy, allowing it to be flooded with those feel-good soothing hormones.

And as that noted doctor, Dr. Feelgood once said, “ain’t nothin’ better than having your body ravaged by a bunch of feel-good hormones.”

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Tim! Go with the oxytocin angle…..

And, we men, the sensitive considerate creatures that we all are, are more than willing to bite the bullet and do our part to help both of us live long and healthy lives by having more sex. It’s the least we can do to help our special loved ones.

With very biggggggg smiles on our faces.

Just sayin.’

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(Special MW thanks and appreciation to “Doc” for his generous donation)

Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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6 Responses to “Not Tonight Dear.” FINALLY……A Solution! (for men at least)

  1. Sven says:

    I don’t know anything about Rush Limbaugh, but my doctor told me having sex released “hotsy-totsy”–you may want to check your references.

    And what’s all this talk about earinary-track infection?

  2. Doc says:

    All I can say, Dick, is, I found a new You Tube category…she said this was an [begin quote} “excellent way to control ejaculations.”[end quote} . Who the hell wants to control ejaculations? (by the way, I paint my bedroom every year)…

    • misfit120 says:

      Only if you’re in a WalMartin the lingerie section Doc. Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

      ________________________________

  3. Doc says:

    ceiling first….

  4. Doc says:

    Just found out.

    Hidden below on her blog (you know I just had to check it out), in fine print, is this statement:

    Kegel exercises, when accompanied by a willing partner only, is a valid expense under the Patient Care & Affordability Act (“ObamaCare”). Video proof is required as an attachment to all invoices for these expenses. However, over the counter performances cannot be charged to an employer’s Health Flexible Savings Account (HFSA), and must be accomplished under the watchful eye of a currently degreed and licensed physician in the state (happy, sad, or otherwise) in which it is performed. This website is not held liable for errors, judgments, failures in outcomes. However, we would like to be informed–by video please–about the performance itself. Thank you for your attention.

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