What The Heck Is Going On In Australia? Really Nice Haircuts…..Reallllllllllly Nice Haircuts.

c

I would have named it, “Strip & Clip.”

We “Yanks” in the “states” as Aussies like to call us, never hear too much about what’s going on down there. Obviously because they’re wayyyyy down there and we can’t hear anything that’s going on from that distance. Kinda like when you’re in the basement and your spouse keeps talking to you from upstairs.

Yes, I know, we “Yanks” as they refer to us, only think of Australia when someone mentions the word “kangaroo,” or Crocodile Dundee. Or if someone happens to use the word, “mate” in a conversation. Other than that, we never give much thought to that country. Mainly because whatever the hell they’re doing down there they’re keeping it a secret.

c

“Crikey!”

But, on occasion, word leaks out. You Aussies just can’t keep a good thing quiet for long ya know. In this instance, topless barber shops. I know, you thought I was going to say something earth shattering. Well, as far as I’m concerned, this IS earth shattering.

Naked women cutting hair. OMG!!!!

m

Stop complaining you idiot….

Then again, we here in the states have topless women dancing in strip clubs and big boobed women serving meals and drinks at “Hooters.” The difference being that in those establishments one has to keep an arm’s length, (or boobs length) from the actual women either serving you a drink or meal, and the only thing you can do in a strip club is stuff a few dollar bills in a strippers panties.

Now in Australia they’ve taken it a step further. You can now get your hair cut by a topless woman in a barber shop. Get clipped and, maybe, if she gets close enough, “nipped.” (sorry, couldn’t help myself. The line was just to tempting to pass up)

As was this next cartoon: (sorry….I couldn’t resist)barber 1

“Barber Babes,” which is based in Brisbane, has its employees wearing just hot pants according to the “Courier-Mail.” In addition to haircuts, they offer massages, eyebrow waxing, blow-dries, (no…..it’s tempting, but I’m not touching THAT line) and shaves.

Jasmine Robson…..um….WAIT!

Why is it whenever a story about topless women, hookers, or porno movies surfaces it’s never a woman with a name like, Alice, Jane, Bertha or Mary. It’s always like a Jasmine, Candy, Lolita etc. I don’t get it.

b

And he wasn’t even distracted by a pair of boobs

Anyhow, Jasmine, who owns the barber shop, explained that the idea stemmed from her belief that most men find going to a barber shop inconvenient and she wanted to provide them with an extra incentive to get their hair cut.

I’m assuming that extra incentive would be……boobs.  My guess anyhow.

She said, “We found that a lot of exotic dancers, (another term for strippers) are qualified hairdressers and don’t do what they love as the wages are quite abysmal.”

Yeah Jasmine. Like who’s gonna wanna stuff a few bucks into a hairdressers smock! Um…..considering it’s mostly women that go to hairdressers I would think the likelihood of any of those customers stuffing a bill into their haridressers smocks would be extremely remote.

She went on to point out that, “Some of the barbers are available for lap dances but not whilst you are getting your “Barber Babes” service. They are serious about their art and don’t take it lightly.”

Me, of course, being a big serious art fan, I can relate to that. (The art in Playboy Magazine)

Yes, just like male barbers who take their jobs seriously too. No screwing around with lap dances and massages. I can vouch for that too. I’ve NEVER received a lap dance or massage from my own barber. And he always wore his shirt while cutting my hair.

Of course it’s been years since I’ve been to a barber. Because as my hair thinned I opted to cut it myself. So, perhaps things may have changed. I might even consider buying a toupee if one of those topless barber shops opened up here in the states. HEY! Why the hell should I miss out on a really good haircut from an experienced hairdresser.

A serious topless hairdresser.

y

NEVER trust a barber shop with a sharp razor that has “Dick” in its name.

However there have been some objections to this new service. As you would expect. AND……just as I made a point of those names earlier, you would expect someone who is going to object to topless barber shops to be named Alice, Jane, Bertha or Mary. Not Jasmine or Lolita. In this instance….the complainee….yep…..Melinda. As in Melinda Liswewski.  In deference to someone named Candy Hotpants.

Melinda chimed in with, “What we’re seeing is the crossover of the sex industry into other more mainstream areas. It’s reinforcing the idea that women exist for men’s sexual arousal and titillation.”

WHAT! You mean they don’t!

(By the way, I love using that last word, “titillation”…..especially in THIS story)

I’m really surprised that Melinda used that word. Considering we ARE talking about topless women here.

Which fits in perfectly considering what those women are exposing. No….I’m NOT going to explain that if you didn’t get it……you boob.

m

This would be Melinda’s concept of the perfect barber shop. (yawn)

Now I’ve mentioned that I have a very dear friend in Australia who fills me in on exactly what the hell is going on down there. But, she missed this story. Either that, or she was much too busy trying to figure out why her boyfriend was getting a haircut every other day.

CHARLIE! CHARLIE!  He just wants to look good for you all the time!

Which obviously, as lame an excuse as that would be, would be my reasoning.

Worth a shot anyhow.

n

Foremost suspect, my friend Charlie after she discovered why her boyfriend Greg was spending waaaay too much time at “Barber Babes.”

Just sayin.’

By the way……I asked my Aussie friend what they do for excitement, so she sent me this video:http://youtu.be/__Vd1i10FqU

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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7 Responses to What The Heck Is Going On In Australia? Really Nice Haircuts…..Reallllllllllly Nice Haircuts.

  1. charlie says:

    …just spilt coffee on my laptop.

  2. Doc says:

    When I was growing up, my dad would always take me to the barber, and tell the barber to take is time with me (“I want it real short” he’d say). Then he’d ask the barber if he could use the men’s room out back, and disappear for about 15 minutes. But when I asked to use the lavatory, I was informed we would be back home in a few minutes, and to “hold it!”

    I discovered in later years that the “men’s room” held a rather large repository of Playboy or Penthouse magazines. Afraid of having the “discussion,” I think most dads introduce the “birds and the bees” to us little boys in this manner, in stages (older, more pristine magazines from the 1930’s first), starting at the barber shop. I eventually (gleefully) started going there on a more frequent, monthly basis, just so I could read up on continued interviews and movie ratings. The barber was nice like that to have a monthly subscription…then I started going every two weeks….

    Nowadays, I am the lone Red Sox fan in a sea of wall hangings depicting the Yankees, and an array of Yankee artifacts…Red Sox fans have to wait their turn to use the toilet, shaped like Fenway Park (complete with red Ty-D-Bowl). But I make sure I cover their great haircut with my Red Sox ball cap, and advertise that fact.

    Personally? I would have named this barber shop “Nips, Hips, and Clips.” Or “Lips and Tips.” Or “Whips and Grips, with Chips.” Clippers and Zippers (stop me, please…).

    • misfit120 says:

      Seems you and I have been to the same barber shop Doc. You know how they say that certain things imbed in your mind as a child. Well I recall going to a barber shop in Providence as a child and waiting on a seat for my turn. The barber went in the back room and left the door open a bit. There hanging on the wall was an 8 by 10 photo of a naked woman. I think I let several people go ahead of me in line so I could stare at the pic. Got a lot of haircuts afterwards at that shop.

  3. Sven says:

    Yea, Doc, I know the feeling….I think that’s why mothers started learning about doing haircuts at home, to “save money.” I never made it to the men’s room like you did. That’s why I have a stunted childhood

  4. Doc says:

    Well, time to go do a “walkabout” in the back room….

  5. Doc says:

    Hey Dick!! Was that Mario’s Barber Shop in Providence?? I remember that picture!! By the time I was old enough to get a haircut, though, the picture was covered in graffiti, with lost and lots of phone numbers.

  6. swedenole13 says:

    Pssssst, is your Aussie friend a Kiwi in disguise?

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