Lorena Bobbitt The 2nd…OUCH!!

bobbit 2

It’s not easy for a guy, such as myself, to write a blog about a woman severing a man’s penis without feeling a bit squeamish. It’s the same effect any guy gets when watching a movie and he observes another guy getting kneed in the lower extremities. Ah feel their pain.

Which also, before I get on with this story, leads me to wonder, if I get kneed or hit with an object in the lower extremities, hang an “out of service” sign on me for at least 15 minutes. Maybe more. Yet, when I’m watching an action movie, such as “The Italian Job,”  which has nothing to do with some Italian guy working in a pizza place, and I see Jason Statham in a big brawl and several guys are jumping him, and he kicks them with a karate chop to the lower extremities, how in the hell do those guys keeps getting up and attacking him?

I’d be lying on the ground in severe pain with tears in my eyes grabbing my crotch. I don’t get it.

Anyhow, on to today’s crotch wrenching story.  Literally.

Once again another woman has taken it upon herself to inflict the ultimate revenge upon a man. (hope this does not catch on)

Remember Lorena Bobbitt:bobbot1

In Santa Anna, California the estranged husband of a woman charged with severing his penis said it was as though his life ended the evening of the attack according to a story by the AP.

Catherine Kieu, 50, got really pissed of at her husband because he was dating a former girlfriend. “Really pissed off” is putting it mildly as far as I’m concerned. I mean, she whacked off the guys penis for cripes sake! THAT’S REALLY PISSED OFF!

Which her husband won’t be able to do anymore.

Unfortunately, as in the case of Lorena Bobbitt’s ex husband, Mr. Kieu’s penis could not be reattached. (I’m still a bit squeamish here folks)

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Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

All Mr. Kieu could remember the night of the incident is that he awoke out of a dead sleep and realized something was askew when he was tied to the bed and there was no naked woman caressing his body. Which would have been my first inclination that something was askew as well. Only because I’ve been trying to get my other half to get a bit kinky and tie me to the bed too, but NOT so that she could whack my penis off.

(note to my other half…..forget my fantasy of having you tie me to the bed)

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“Is this a devious plot to electrocute me or are you really horny baby?”

The strange part about this story is that Kieu, (not sure if it was Mr. or Mrs) had a voice activated recorder hidden in the bedroom and during the attack she is heard saying, “you deserve it,” three times before the actual attack.

There was no mention in this story as to exactly what Mrs. Kieu used to perform the dastardly deed. But you’d think that if your spouse were standing over you screaming, “you deserve it” three times, somehow you’d manage to wrangle loose while she was screaming. Depending on what she tied you up with. In this instance, I’m sure it was not yarn.

Now the only reason I highlighted this story on today’s blog is for the benefit of any man who is currently cheating on his spouse. And only because you know what happens when women of cheating spouses read this story. They get inspired. So be verrrry careful when you guys who are cheating on your spouses go to sleep tonight.

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#$#!!#!*^$! Cat

Some precautions.

Get rid of all ropes, snap ties, strong balls of string, and super glue.

Never take any sleeping pills before bedtime. Put them in her drink instead. Or, encourage her to take a couple of sleeping pills by telling her that she really needs her beauty sleep and then pretending to fall asleep, but with one eye half-open until you’re sure she’s out cold.

Get rid of any penis chopping off instruments. Sharp kitchen knives. Only keep plastic butter knives in your kitchen drawer. If you have an axe or chain saw, dump that too. Might even want to get rid of your Gillette Atra razor and switch to an electric razor…….just to be on the safe side.

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Definitely hide THIS razor too

Scissors are another instrument that can inflict serious penis pain. Get rid of them as well opting to buy those little children’s plastic scissors instead.

Just get rid of ANYTHING that a devious “whack a mole” penis chopping off woman could use.

However, if you don’t think you can completely eliminate everything in your house, or that she may have some torture instruments hidden, there’s always one sure-fire way of preventing ol woody from being eliminated as part of you anatomy.

The ancient chastity belt.

Yes, I know, it was designed specifically for women back in mid eval times, but, this is the 21st century and as far as I’m concerned it would work perfectly in serving as a last resort to penis protection.

Just make sure you hide the key or that you’re not married to a professional locksmith.

just sayin.’

w

“Whew…thank Gawd. I thought you were gonna chop off my penis.”

Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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One Response to Lorena Bobbitt The 2nd…OUCH!!

  1. How about just don’t cheat? 😛

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