Ok. Yes, I know. I can’t resist a really good story involving sex. It’s a sickness. BUT…..if “I’M” the one with a sick mind, how come whenever I write a story about sex my reader hits for the day skyrocket? Yeah…take that people! So I’m not the only one with a perverted mind here.
So, if the shoe fits, wear it. In this instance, with regard to today’s blog….a condom.
BUT…..”I” wasn’t the one who brought this to my own attention. Which I must say is unusual considering I usually jump all over condoms. Um, I mean condom stories.
The credit for this “condom alert” goes to Tina Roenhovde, a fellow, or, um, female blogger who writes her blog as a member of the “Witness Protection Program,” (in hiding) otherwise why in the hell would she be hiding out in Vienna. My guess anyhow.
To find out why, or to check out her blog entitled, “Everyday Life In Vienna,” (this has nothing to do with vienna bread) check her out at “tinasrabbithole.wordpress.com.”
(NOTE) MisfitWisdom accepts no responsibility if I’ve blown Tina’s cover in the Witness Protection Program.
So this condom business all began when Microsoft founder Bill Gates along with his foundation, “The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation,” announced a challenge for anyone who could “come” up with a new idea for a condom. In fact, if you do, “come” up with a new idea for a condom you could “come” into a lot of cash. A $100,000 start-up grant to the person who designs the “new generation condom that preserves or enhances pleasure” and promotes “regular use.”
Now why would Bill Gates issue such a challenge? I thought you’d never ask.
The foundation wants to see something that will lead men and women outside of a committed relationship to stop and think twice before having unprotected sex. Encouraging men to use condoms perhaps if it were a lot easier to put on as well as allowing more sensitivity.
Unprotected sex does not mean that you are in danger of getting hurt if you do not have armed guards standing by as you engage in sex. Thus, being unprotected while having sex. Sometimes you just have to make these things perfectly clear.
What it means, as if you didn’t already know, is that if you are planning to have sex, you should always wear protection. Like a raincoat, warm jacket or a big stick to fend off any stray animals who may happen upon you if you are having sex in the woods.
Sorry. Got that wrong. I was just thinking of my teenage years.
What it means is that to prevent the spread of disease, (HIV etc) you should always wear a condom. The problem is that most red blooded males hate condoms because as Gates stated, “prophylactics, (condoms) interfere with pleasure and intimacy.”
As does any woman with a headache.
So, Gates put the challenge out to all inventors. Not to develop any new software or hardware for Microsoft, but to develop this new condom. Which, when you think about it, actually can be used on “hardware.” If you get my drift.
So, along comes Joerg Sprave of “Slingshot” with his submission. Thanks to a “heads” up from Tina.
Soooooo, being a male, and a bit curious as to what Joerg’s condom invention entailed, I took a look at his video. (WARNING: Not for the squeamish)
Here’s the video. Watch it. I’ll wait.
Ok, Now that you’ve watched the video, did you have the same reaction as me?
Which was. “IS THIS GUY NUCKING FUTS! YOU’RE GONNA USE A FREAKIN’ SLINGSHOT TO LAUNCH A CONDOM AT MY JOHNSON!!!! A SLINGSHOT!!!!”
I may be a bit slow on the uptake folks but I didn’t fall off the prophylactic truck yesterday ya know.
There’s no way I’d let my other half have a slingshot loaded with a condom and aim it at me as I sit there naked with my woody at attention. Come to think of it, if she were aiming a slingshot at me there’s no way ANYTHING would be at attention. Just think…….suppose her aim is off and the condom hits a bit lower. I’d be sounding like Del Shannon doing a verse from “Runaway.”
Can anybody say elastic band snapping effect.
Sorry Joerg. Thumbs down on your condom invention. Not only because of the aim factor, but your diabolic laughter as you attempt to launch that thing.
“Ok….hold steady….heh, heh, heh. Oops, sorry…..heh, heh, heh, you’ll be ok in a few minutes.”
Bill, Melinda, no! Puleeeeese, no! For all mankind do not choose this guys invention.
But Joerg. Take heart. You might be able to sell that invention to the U. S. Military. You know, like when they interrogate terrorists.
“OK Ackama. Either you talk or we’re launching this condom at ya.”
Cripes……I’d sure as hell tell them ANYTHING they wanna know.
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The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has committed $100 million to encourage scientists worldwide to expand the pipeline of ideas.