Fox News Goes Ballistic Over Jim Carey’s “Cold Dead Hand” Video (yawn)

fox 1

Yes folks, the big news this week is the video featuring Jim Carey portraying Charlton Heston, former NRA president. It’s obvious in the skit, meant to be comedy, and, also to make a point about gun control, that Carey was attempting to rile some feathers, mainly Fox News, and also those who support the NRA’s position with regard to the second amendment.

Which is the right to arm bears. Um, wait, no, that’s not right. Sorry. It’s the right to bear arms. Although, in defense of bears, I personally think they should also be allowed to bear arms. Just doesn’t seem right that hunters can shoot unarmed bears and the bears have no defense.

Pause for a moment and go to and click on “Cold Dead Hand” by Jim Carey for the full video. I’ll wait……………………………….

Now, for a much clearer perspective on all this, perhaps you should watch this video courtesy of “The Young Turks.” (don’t ask. I have no idea what the Young Turks are) Possibly a bunch of Turkish people who follow news here in the U.S.

Now for the ballistic part. You DID know there was going to be a ballistic part didn’t you? Cripes….we’re talkin’ about Fox News here. You know their motto: “Fair and unbalanced.” And BOY are they ballistically unbalanced.

Here’s their very calm intellectual response to Carey’s skit featuring Greg Gutfield.

And a comeback parody to add a little spice to things from “Reason TV.”

The rebuttal: (courtesy Reason TV)


So much for a nice Christmas dinner of venison

Now folks, is there any way you can picture CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC and all the other mainstream news media outlets responding to Jim Carey’s skit in a similar manner?

Somehow I just can’t picture in my mind Scott Pelley, Brian Williams, Diane Sawyer or Wolf Blitzer going THAT ballistic over a comedy skit regardless of its target. In this instance, Fox News.


CNN’s Wolf Blitzer

Yes Carey took a shot at Fox News and the NRA. So what! That’s what comedians do all the time. To rant and rave on various Fox news programs just seems a bit infantile to me. Especially that nut case Greg Gutfield in the video above. THAT’S FREAKIN’ NEWS?

The Supreme Court is in the midst of defining what marriage is. North Korea’s leader, Kim Wong Hong Foon King Kong is going berserk threatening to launch missiles and destroy all McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger Kings. Well, he didn’t actually mention those fast food places, but I’ll bet they’re on his list. Only because fast food restaurants are a threat to communism as we all know.

Give any communist a hamburger and they’ll surely defect. Proven fact.


“Oops…soleeee. You want I should send out for pizza then?”

But what is Fox News concerned with? A Jim Carey parody.

Perhaps a brief mention might have been in order. A bit more subdued perhaps.  Rather than Gutfield giving the appearance of an axe murderer about to hack up his next victim.

My favorite Gutfield line was, “He is probably the most pathetic tool on the face of the Earth (slugs were not mentioned) and I hope his career is dead and he ends up sleeping in a car the way his life began.” (no mention as to what kind of car it was, which would have been a great opportunity for Fox to slip in a car commercial) He continued, “This video only made me want to go out and only buy a gun. He thinks this is biting satire, (kinda like “bite me”) and going after rural America and a dead man.”

The “dead man” being Charleston Heston who passed away in 2008 at the age of 84. As far as going after rural America, I’m not quite sure what Gutfield was implying. Unless he meant only rural Americans buy guns. We all know city folk do not buy guns. No squirrels and other pesky varmints to shoot in the city.

This is either a photo of Charleston or Moses. Not sure. But, he IS carrying the leat known commandment. The 11th. Thou shalt not

This is either a photo of Charlton Heston or Moses carrying the least known commandment. The 11th. “Thou shalt be fair and balanced.”

But, the Fox News beat went on. News contributor Laura Ingram also came down hard on Carey by dissing Carey’s latest movie. She said, “The Incredible Bert Wonderstone,” was a box office bomb and insisting that the video, (Cold Dead Hand) was meant to deflect from his, “cold dead career”. “Carey has not been funny since, I don’t know, “The Truman Show.”

Harry Truman had a show? Nah….she must mean something else.

Hmmmmm. Why is it all that comes to mind is, “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me?”

Might as well give Jim Carey equal time here with his reply to Fox:

“Since I released my “Cold Dead Hand” video on Funny or Die this week, I have watched Fux News rant, rave, bare its fangs and viciously slander me because of my stand against large magazines and assault rifles. I would take them to task legally if I felt they were worth my time or that anyone with a brain in their head could actually fall for such irresponsible buffoonery. That would gain them far too much attention which is all they really care about.

I’ll just say this: in my opinion Fux News is a last resort for kinda-sorta-almost-journalists whose options have been severely limited by their extreme and intolerant views; a media colostomy bag that has begun to burst at the seams and should be emptied before it becomes a public health issue.

I sincerely believe that in time, good people will lose patience with the petty and poisonous behavior of these bullies and Fux News will be remembered as nothing more than a giant culture fart that no amount of Garlique could cure.

I wish them all the luck that accompanies such malevolence.”


“Hey Fox News! Ahm gonna reach into my pants here and drag out a biggggg snake that’s gonna eat your fox…” 

Me thinkith all this equals the equivalent of: “NaNaNaNaNaNa.” “Your mother wears combat boots.” “Oh yeah!” “Yeah.” And, might make for some good entertainment for the old Captain Kangaroo” TV show.

“Goleee Captain Kangaroo, did he say colostomy bag?”

“Yep, he sure did Mr. Greenjeans. And not only that, he said, “Fux!”

“He said FUX! OMG! Can ya say that four letter word in front of all the news media Captain?”

“Mr. Greenjeans….it’s spelled “F-U-X” not “F-*-*KS!!!”


“Captain….I’ve been meaning to speak to you about using the “F” word…”

For those of you who love FUX or F**KS news, either way, if that works for you, as far as your news source, I personally have no problem with that. If you choose any of the other mainstream networks, fine. I personally prefer, as I’m sure you all know by now, the mixture of comedy and news on Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart shows.

Because I KNOW both of them are fair and unbalanced and they make no qualms about being so.

Unlike other networks mentioned in today’s blog.

Just sayin.’

(information on today’s MW blog compiled from Yahoo’s “OMG,” “The Huffngton Post,” and my sick demented mind.

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Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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