Not that they don’t have a problem keeping the two-legged kind, (pigs) as well, but I guess New Yorker’s are more worried about the four-legged kind more than the two-legged kind. Besides, if you have a two-legged pig, male or female, of the human type, you actually might not want to put up a fight to keep it. Unless of course you’re into pigs. The male and female human type.
Ok…I think I’ve made my point that today’s blog is about real pigs, you know, bacon, ham sandwich type pigs. Pigs who just want to live like the rest of us in a nice warm comfy home.
In New York, according to a story in the Associated Press, pigs are getting a bad rap. Nobody’s listening to any pig that’s performing rap music on stage.
Um…wait. Sorry. Got it wrong.
They’re getting a bad rap because people associate pigs with being messy, stinky, “synonymous with slovenliness,” eat too much and their living quarters are pig pens. Kinda like a 50-year-old unmarried guy who still lives with his mother except he serves no useful purpose in life, unlike a real pig who you can at least use to make a BLT.
The problem in New York City is that a number of people are keeping pigs as pets in their apartments which is prohibited by the city’s health code. Similar to the DaVinci Code but not made into a movie starring Tom Shanks….um…..Hanks.
Timm Chiusano, (must have a stuttering problem when he writes his name) says, “People think it’s weird and a novelty but they’re really sweet and smart animals.” (sweet as in tasty maybe) He keeps two pot-bellied pigs on the ground floor of his three-story brownstone in Brooklyn. (no pig sty jokes please)
Now you have to take into consideration what Timm has done to make his pigs comfortable. He renovated his home with the pigs in mind, putting their beds and food on the first floor because their legs are too stubby to climb stairs, and he installed special flooring that holds up to hooves. And, on top of all that, he constantly resods the backyard because, as you know, pigs love to dine on grass.
Me thinkith grass seed manufacturers like “Scotts” must love this guy.
Other people in new York City are also harboring pigs in their homes. Danielle Forgione has a 1-year-old pig named Petey and was recently issued a city animal violation and told to get rid of the pig. So after dumping her husband…oh…sorry…..I meant the pig, which she actually did not get rid of, the husband or the pig, she told authorities, “”He’s part of our family.” (referring to the pig and not her husband) “This is our pet, He’s not harming anybody. He goes to the vet every six months, gets his hooves clipped, he gets de-wormed, he gets his shots.” (I think she’s still talking about the pig and not her husband) My guess anyhow.
But the city put its hoof down and earlier this month denied her petition to amend the city’s health code to create an exception for “domesticated mini pigs.” The kind used in making mini BLT sandwiches.
Exactly how many people own pigs in New York City is unclear according to the AP story. But many connect on-line, creating Facebook pages.
Wait a sec. Pigs create their own Facebook pages? (re checking article)
Ohhhhhhhh. I see. Sorry. I did what Fox News does. Cuts a comment midstream to make someone appear stupid or to cause an uproar. Sorry. It should have read, “many connect on-line creating a Facebook page for their pigs and swapping photos.” My apologies to anyone following a pig on Facebook. The four-legged kind.
For the record, or, if you’re into pigs, (the four-legged kind) one pig in Brooklyn named “Franklin” is dressed up in Mets baseball gear and has more than 1,000 likes on his Facebook page. Perhaps more than Mets infielder Ruben Tejada who does not, as far as I know, own a pig.
Pig owners hope to overturn the city’s ban by pointing out that New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s daughter, Georgina, who adopted a pig from an animal shelter in New Jersey after Superstorm Sandy, brought it to Gracie Mansion. And of course the mayor is Jewish and Jewish people do not eat ham, so I’m sure the pig felt confident he was pretty safe going there, which is most likely the main reason he agreed to go along with Georgina to Gracie Mansion.
However, when the mayor’s office learned that it was illegal to have a pig, his daughter took it back to her home in Florida. Where, I guess, it’s ok to live with a pig. The four-legged kind. Or, otherwise I suppose. Guess it’s a matter of choice.
Petey’s owners meanwhile say this has become a life-altering expigrience….um…..experience.
Forgione, one of the pig owners I mentioned earlier, said, “I’ve had a slab of bacon in the freezer for I don’t know how long. I just can’t bring myself to eat it.”
Which is quite understandable. I myself have two boxes of Gorton’s Fish Sticks in my freezer that have been there for several months. I too just can’t bring myself to eat them after watching Don Knotts in “The Incredible Mr. Limpet.”
I know it sounds kinda fishy, but it’s true. I swear.
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