A Reince Priebus is a person. Most notably the chairman of the Republican Party. Whose parents obviously hated him otherwise they wouldn’t have given him the name of “Reince” to go along with “Priebus.” Sounds like a foreign sports car you’d buy in Italy or something.
“Yes folks, the 2013 Reince Priebus hybrid 4500.”
Anyhow, his name aside, good ol Reince has his hands full these days trying to reconstruct the Republican party after their loss in the 2012 Presidential election. He’s attributed that loss to a number of points. My guess would be that it was lack of votes. But, that’s just my guess.
Reince Grievus says that some of the reasons for that loss were, “Our message was weak.”
Perhaps meaning that the messages they were sending to voters like, “take from the poor and give to the rich,” might not have been a very good selling point. They might have added to that message, “Hey, if ya don’t agree with THAT message, um, we were only kidding.”
He also said, “Our ground game was insufficient.” Meaning of course that if you’re going to play games on the ground, you have to be sufficient. Cheating helps.
And, “We were behind in both data and digital.” Most Republicans still had analog televisions and un-smart cell phones. Not to mention, but I will, 8-track players. I think. Considering most of them are still playing old Ronald Reagan type music and were afraid to update to George W. Bush iPods for fear of bringing up cassettes of mass destruction memories.
Did anyone see George at the Republican convention? ANYONE? A janitor maybe. Doorman. Prince Fleabus?
Because I normally read “Time” magazine, (I subscribe to it because it’s the only magazine besides Playboy, which I also subscribe to, that gives old people discounts) I read their take on Flinch Reebus in an article in this week’s issue by Michael Scherer and Zeke Miller, formerly of the comedy team, Zeke and Mike. (only kidding, neither one of them knows anything funny)
The article was entitled, “Growing Pains. Can the GOP learn to believe in change?” Which has nothing to do with the GOP, the party of the rich, learning to use pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters when they buy stuff rather than the usual $100 dollar bills.
Flance Kreebus says that the solutions proposed include an “overhaul not just of campaign mechanics, (the guys who work on candidates cars) but also the basic DNA that has helped to define the party of Reagan, Bush and Romney. Stop attacking popular culture, (most likely McDonald’s Hamburgers and Burger King Junior Whoppers) and start becoming a part of it.” Maybe actually opening a franchise and calling it either “McReagan’s,” “Bush In The Hand Fried Chicken” or perhaps “Romney 47% Roasts.”
As far as the immigration issue is concerned, France Zebrus says that “We must embrace and champion comprehensive immigration reform” such as the contradicting 2012 party platform which opposed any form of amnesty for the 11 million undocumented immigrants. He’s of course referring to the number of undocumented immigrants many of whom are various colored Sesame Street characters. Yes, they really need to reach out to Kermit, Cookie Monster and that slut of a pig, Miss Piggy.
But Flance Remus goes on to recommend an open debate within the party over opposition to gay marriage. He said, “For many younger voters, these issues are a gateway into whether the party is a place they want to be.” The “party” being the GOP and not actually attending a party where there are gay people.
They really need to take a long hard look at their position regarding gay marriages.
However, Flinch Fleabus may be getting some opposition to his plans to overhaul the party which, many Republican voters in Ohio and Iowa recently said reminded them of a bunch of “scary,” “narrow-minded,” “stuffy” old men” and “out of touch.” (Geez….I never would have guessed they were out of touch….would you?) Only because narrow-minded stuffy old men really like to touch things……usually women.
The opposition to Flaunce Robust’s plans comes from party mainstays of social conservatism like Eagle Forum’s Phyllis Schlafy, (not to be confused with Blue-tail-fly*) and Faith and Freedom Coalition chairman Ralph Reed, (no relation to Rex Reed) who warn that they will fight any effort to change the party’s approach to gay marriage. Sad marriage marriages maybe, but no changes to gay ones.
* Blue-tail-fly reference for you brainiacs:http://youtu.be/Rr4jeaaVGCA
Reed warned Rance Grievus that, “If someone tries they’re going to have to get through me.”
Which basically is the equivalent of Charleston Heston saying to a group of “National Rifle Association” members about taking gun rights away, “”From my cold dead hands.” Which in turn could very well prompt Raunch Greenbus to consider going through Reed and following the advice of a soon to be dearly departed’s wish when he said: (courtesy of Rolf Harris)
Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred (Reince)
Tan me hide when I’m dead
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
And that’s it hangin’ on the shed!!
Reed’s hide looks kinda nice hangin’ up there on the shed Mr. Preebust.
So it remains to be seen, (Reed’s hide hangin’ on the shed…$2.00 admission) as to just how the GOP and Reence Throughly will change the GOP before the next mid-term elections in 2014. May be lots of infighting between him and the staunch conservatives who want to hold on to their core values concerning immigration and gay marriages. As cores go……excluding the ones found in apples. Which conservatives have absolutely no problem with.
Rench Creambus goes on to say in the article by “Time,” “I am not going to sit here and grind away as chairman of the party and do the same old thing that has always been done.”
Which basically means that Reence will “stand up” rather than “sit” there and grind away as chairman while watching the same old thing that has always been done.
Which is “nothing.” Unless you count the grinding part. Which, “IS” at least something.
Just ask any dentist.
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