I think we’ve all been down this path once or twice. Ms. Honeybunz, the high school English teacher enters the room in her body clinging sarong, well, maybe not a sarong, but in our adolescent minds, it WAS a sarong with body clinging effects. (guys drool at this point)
On the very first day of school this is what all the guys hoped for:
Or, for the girls, Mr. Hunkadorf wearing his really tight Dockers, sporting a sweater with a big initial on it, (the jock effect) and slightly running his hand through his wavy blond hair. (girls swoon at this point)
Geez, had I written this story a few years ago I could have penned that steamy novel, “50 Shades of Grey.” Now that I’m older, and someone else wrote that book, the only hope I have is “50 Shades of Being Old.” Not very erotic unless you’re into senior sex. Which, in most cases involves talking about sex and then falling asleep before you can actually do it.
In Michigan, according to Fox News, which likes foxy stories, 57 year-old John Corlett turned in an assignment calling for students to write, “raw things” (not involving meat) a personal diary that maybe they wouldn’t want anyone to read. (again, this has nothing to do with having sexual relations with raw food)
Do people actually do that? Um, forget it, I don’t wanna know.
Corlett chose a topic that has been a taboo for years. Maybe even centuries. Maybe even longer considering it’s been eons since I was in high school and you couldn’t even talk about it then. We did draw a few doodles on our desk pads, but talking about it was out.
The topic he chose, student infatuation with their teacher.
Now all this somehow ties into the Van Halen song, “Hot For Teacher.” Which I’ll get to in a moment. Be patient for cripes sake.
In Corlett’s “raw” journal entry he wrote that one teacher reminded him of Ginger from the television series, “Gilligan’s Island” and another teacher he thought of was hot, and not just because she was pregnant with a, “bun in her oven.” (their quote)
So Corlett’s teacher was offended and showed his essay to the dean who then expelled him and then ordered him to seek counseling if he ever wanted to return as a student.
Me thinkith Corlett should seek counseling if that’s what it takes to get back into that class considering the guy is 57 years old and time may be running out.
Which also raises the question. WTF is a 57 year-old guy doing in a college class and why is he lusting over raw meat….um….sorry….raw thoughts about possibly seeing teachers, (females) in the raw. Then again, don’t all guys.
Personally I’d love to see that lady from Sesame Street who’s…um..er….neverrrrrrr mind.
Meanwhile, Corlett has filed a lawsuit against the college in Michigan arguing that his free speech, (or lusting) was infringed upon by the university, especially since he said he was asked about the limitations and the teacher said nothing was, “out-of-bounds.”
He’s seeking $2.2 million dollars in damages stating that he was embarrassed when police were called to escort him from the campus.
“Come on ya damn pervert, it’s off to the slammer.”
“But officer, all I did was write an essay about my infatuation with female school teachers. Everybody has the same feelings about their teachers at one time or another. What’s the beef?”
“Yeah, you said it buddy, the beef. Having sexual thoughts about school teachers with raw beef. Here in Michigan we respect cows and beef ya know. Ya never should have mentioned hamburgers and sex with school teachers in the same essay.”
The Van Halen song “Hot For Teacher,” (no hamburger or raw meat lyrics were in that song) was released in 1984 on the band’s album and remains a pop cultural phenomenon, and most recently re-introduced to kids through the “Guitar Hero” video games.
Which, I might add, I have never seen, but figure it must have something to do with guitars, hot teachers and possibly raw meat. Or something raw. Just guessing.
But, Guitar Heroes aside, lets take a look at Van Halen’s, “Hot For Teacher Video.”http://youtu.be/-4GZFbCqx18
Yeah right! Sorry Van Halen. None of my school teachers looked like that. This is more like it…..
Although I still, to this day, fantazie about the image below:
But I gotta say one thing for the guy. He wrote his essay about what most kids were thinking about during class if they were really fortunate enough to have a hot looking teacher. Parochial school excluded. The only fantasies we had about teachers in parochial school were about Zorro and wearing masks. (ya have to think about that one)
And the mask wearing had absolutely nothing to do with sex.
So it remains to be seen how Corlett will make out with his suit against the university. After all, the essay assignment WAS to write about raw things that you necessarily wouldn’t want anyone to read. Which he did. And, it did not specifically say you had to write about USDA meat. So he might actually stand a chance of winning his law suit.
Which would be one small step for mankind, and a giant leap for raw meat…………..
sensually speaking of course.
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