I’m not kidding here folks. Honest! There’s a new dating service similar to “Christian Mingle,” eHarmony,” and “Match.com.”
Except with this new dating service you don’t have to be a Christian and like to mingle. Be able to carry a tune to join “eHarmony.” Or enjoy playing with matches to belong to “Match.com.”
This new dating service is called, “FarmersOnly.com.”
I’m assuming this new dating service requires that you either grow things or raise animals. Or maybe be an animal yourself and actually live on a farm or be an actual farmer.
NOTE: Being an employee of “Farmers Insurance” or “State Farm Insurance” or having an insurance policy with either of them does not count as being a farmer.
I caught their ad for the first time yesterday and said to myself, as I normally do when I see various on-line dating service ads, WTF! Only because it’s getting to the point that pretty soon every group of people will have their own dating service sites to go to find their “perfect match.”
Now farmers! Geez.
Can you just imagine some of the listings.
“Lonely farmer in Montana seeking perfect mate. Must like sharing bedroom with horses.”
“Farmer in Iowa looking for that special someone to help him bring in the sheaves.”
“Attention women who like pig farmers. I am a pig farmer, and also a pig myself. If ya wanna slop around and have a really great time and get down and dirty I’m your man.”
Here comes the sheep one.
“Divorced sheep farmer in Colorado looking for his soul mate. Will not pull the wool over your eyes. Ewe you count on that.”
Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
Ok, Ok, jusssst one more……..
“Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.”
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, “If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, not a cow.”
The guy replies, “If you weren’t such a presumptuous bitch, you’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”
My apologies to all sheep reading today’s blog. Damn……I can hear them all yelling out….baaaaaa!
My point here is that eventually there’s going to be an influx of various dating services to fit just about everyone. Dating services for mechanics for instance. “MechanicsNuts.com.”
Laborers who work in the field picking fruit. “RipeForThePicking.com.”
Tennis players: “FuzzyBalls.com.” Peeping Toms: “ICU.com.” Comedians: “HaHaHaHaHa.com.” Librarians: “Shhhhh.com.” People who use sign language: “———.com.” Chefs, “Burp.com.” EMT’s: “BreatheBreathe.com.” and of course bloggers such as myself at, “WTF.com.”
This could get way outta hand. Um, I think it already has Farmer John.
Whatever happened to walking into a bar, spotting a hot babe sitting there and saying to her, “Heyyyyy babeee, what’s your sign?” I’ll tell ya what’s happened. The Internet!
Yep. Why waste your time sitting at a bar hitting on someone when all ya have to do is sit at your computer and hit on someone. Same thing as phone sex. Not that I have ever tried phone sex. Unless you count that one time when I got testy on the phone with a female IRS agent and she told me to go “F” myself. Does that count?
Now as far as I can see, which isn’t very far, to me personally, there’s nothing better than meeting someone in person as far as finding someone you might have a relationship with. Because as far as the Internet dating thing goes, OR, these dating services, remember that wise quote from one of the worlds famous philosophers:
“Life is like a box of chocolates….ya never know what you’re gonna get.” (Forest Gump)
Which is one reason you should always shop for chocolates at a “Godiva” store. Not only can you pick out your favorite chocolate, but hit on some hot babe picking out her favorite chocolates as well. Kinda like a two for one deal.
So why take any chances.
So if you’re a farmer and you’re thinking of joining “FarmersOnly.com” you might want to think of other possibilities first. Unless you’ve already tried other things and it’s just not working out for you. In that case, maybe that Farmers site might just be the thing for you. Give it a shot. Ya never know.
Fortunately I do not have to worry about dating or dating services. I met my other half many moons ago by posting my own dating service link on the Internet before all of these other dating services were the in thing.
It was called, “ItaliansWithBigNoses.com.”
Thankfully she was into Italians with big noses and we’ve been together ever since.
OH, and to that one person who answered my ad and sent me an e-mail named Giovanni from Italy, sorry, I’m not into grape stomping.
Might wanna try, “PurpleFeet.com.”
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