If you’re a writer, this may be of interest to you. The wife of billionaire real estate mongrel, um, no that’s not right, it should be real estate “mogul” Sam Zell is giving $50 million dollars to support the University of Michigan’s graduate writing program.
What Helen Zell is attempting to accomplish is investing in some of the world’s promising young poets and novelists, according to a story by the AP, to insure the book they have inside them gets written, shared with the world, and allowed to work the unique magic of human self-reflection that literature offers.
Something like what I do in this blog each and every day. Cept I don’t make $50 million dollars doing it. Which is one reason why you should, if you’re an aspiring writer, never write a blog and instead go to the University of Michigan.
Zell goes on to say, “What I’ve watched happen with the introduction of the Internet, media and blogging, I almost feel like this part of our education is under siege.”
Under siege? Does she mean that blogging is attacking education? Like maybe because I use “spell check” when I write means that education is under siege?
Hey! I resemble that remark Helen. Can I help it if I flunked English in high school. I flunked math and science too. I didn’t care because I wanted to be a disc jockey. Who the hell needs math, and science when you’re a disc jockey? English maybe, but I already knew how to speak English. So there!
Hmmm. Lets see what else she has to say. “The ability of fiction to develop creativity, to analyze the human psyche, help you understand people – it’s critical. It’s as important as vitamins or anything else. To me, it’s the core of the intellectual health of human beings.”
Fiction! Fiction! Is THAT what this is all about. Cripes, what the hell do ya think I write in here every day! FICTION! Well, um, some of it IS fiction while the rest might as well be fiction considering most of the stuff I write about, like Congress and politicians SHOULD be fiction. Oh yeah, and Donald Trump.
I might have considered taking advantage of that chance to get in on that graduate writing program she mentioned if I were a bit younger. But I’ve already written two books, one non-fiction and the other semi-fiction which sold big time. If ya count the 20 books I personally bought and gave away.
But for anyone who wants to aspire to be a great writer I guess the program might be just the thing for you to hone in on your writing skills.
For instance, if you’re into writing graffiti on walls in restrooms or buildings, this might help you enhance your writing skills. I’ve seen a lot of that sort of graffiti all over the place and the English they use is horrific. How can you make a valid point and expect to get any respect if you spend hours writing graffiti on a wall and misspell things.
Like the one I just saw yesterday. Beautiful bold colors and the words, “Fuc Yew.” So I can see where someone would need to enroll in the University of Michigan’s graduate writing program. Respect in what you do is a necessity if you’re going to achieve greatness and write that next great novel……..or restroom graffiti.
Michigan’s program covers tuition and offers a $22,000 stipend, (an allowance like your parents gave ya but not two or three dollars for cutting the lawn) for students while they take classes their first year, then pays for them for teaching during their second year.
Zell says, “Writers should be at their desk, not at Starbucks serving coffee.” Or like myself who’s sitting at my computer desk drinking coffee.
Unless she means that I should actually be at a Starbucks serving coffee, writing between serving customers, and if she comes in and sees me writing and serving coffee, rescues me, drags my butt off to Michigan and gives me part of that $50 million dollars to write and not be interrupted by customers wanting a latte.
Problem here is that obviously I don’t work at Starbucks so I stand a snowball’s chance in hell of Zell walking in and rescuing me. Unless I put a big sign on my front lawn offering free coffee to anyone named Zell and just hope she drives by and says to herself, “Hey….there lives an aspiring writer!”
Unless of course she’s read this blog and has determined that I’m a hopeless case.
HELEN! HELEN! WAIT! I can mend my evil ways. I can write some really great intellectual stuff. All I need is $50 million dollars!
Um, wait a second. What else did she say?
“Some writers are so driven they will find a way to publish no matter what. But if given a loamy garden, many more will produce and will bear wonderful fruit.”
That screws it for me.
First of all I do not have a loamy garden that could produce any wonderful fruit. I can’t even grow a damn Sunflower in my back yard. Believe me I’ve tried. Nothing grows in my yard. Except for crabgrass and bittersweet vines.
I think I’m screwed.
Oh well, back to writing this blog in my un loamy and crabgrass filled and yard with no wonderful fruit.
Except for that Japanese cherry tree out there. Which DOES produce fruit……but, unedible.
Which leaves me where I started.
In the pits…..which is what’s left over after all the birds eat those Japanese cherries.
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