Some People Wear Their Religion On Their Sleeves. In Norway, It’s On Their Butts.


You don’t EVEN wanna know

Now first of all let me state that I am not a very religious person. In that, I mean that although I am of the Catholic faith, and I was raised by my parents to be a very good Catholic, and that they dragged me off to church faithfully every Sunday, I did not become a priest or form my own church.

Although, considering the Catholic church has more money than God himself, it might not have been a bad idea, considering I survive on a wing and a prayer each week to make ends meet. AND….also considering that with my talent for writing this off the wall stuff each and every day, I could very well preach my heart out on a pulpit and rake in big bucks at the same time. Unlike the “no bucks” I rake in doing this stuff.

Visa, Mastercard welcome

Visa, MasterCard welcome

But, that said, I DO on occasion pray, you know, like “Oh Gawd, please let me hit the lottery.” Or, “Oh Gawd, please let me hit a huge payout on a slot machine.” And on some occasions, “Oh Gawd, Oh Gawd…..OMG.!!!”….but um….I can’t really mention what occasion I usually yell that out on. Use your imagination for cripes sake.

So what got me on this religions kick today? Oslo, Norway. Yep.

Seems like a Finnish toilet paper maker is in hot water for screwing up some rolls of toilet paper and has had to remove them from the marketplace.

Really ticked off that they had to pull their scripture toilet paper rolls, some of the companys sales reps leave caustic messages

Really ticked off that they had to pull their scripture toilet paper rolls, some of the company’s sales reps leave caustic messages

I know. You’re saying to yourselves, “How does religion and toilet paper tie in?”

I’ll tell ya.

Apparently the toilet paper manufacturer distributed toilet paper in Oslo containing printed messages on each square which, wasn’t that big of a deal. My own toilet paper has messages on it that says, “Wipe Here.” So what’s the complaint here?

The big deal is that those messages contained quotes from the Bible including the words of the big guy himself…Jesus. Which sparked protests from Norwegian church leaders who simply wanted the same type of toilet paper rolls that I have with those simple “wipe here” instructions……printed in Norwegian of course.

“Metsa Tissue” was trying to convey the messages about love but accidentally included lines from the Gospel of Matthew and First Corinthians on toilet paper sold in Norway, Denmark and Sweden. (hope there’s none of those long Scandinavian names in this story)

For instance. One of the messages said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Which, when you think about it, isn’t really controversial considering you’re there sitting on the toilet and would possibly reflect on that message in-depth. Praying that your “treasure” is being able to poop with ease after eating several burritos with jalapeno hot peppers which in turn would relieve your “heartburn.” Kinda ties in don’t ya think?

Nothing new with this idea. I edit my blogs doing this every morning.

Nothing new with this idea. I edit my blogs doing this every morning.

Christina von Trampe, (no relation to the Trapp Family who used to sing in the toilet) says that, “People like to read small, happy messages while sitting on the toilet. The vast majority of the feedback has been positive. Our intention was to spread love and joy, not religious messages.”

Along with spreading the feeling of relief, comfort and cleanliness at the same time. My guess anyhow.

Rats. here comes one of those damn names.

Laila Riksaasen Dahl, (no relation to Arlene Dahl) who is the Bishop of Tunsberg in protestant Norway, was not amused.

“This is bad taste and shows a lack of respect. Bible verses do not belong on toilet paper.”

I assume she was completely flushed over this issue.

I personally have no objections to Bible verses being put on anything. I mean isn’t it up to the consumer to decide if they want Bible verses on their toilet paper or the other “wipe here” kind?

There used to be a donut manufacturer here in New England who used to put Bible sayings on their coffee cups in all of their coffee shops. Not being really big time into religion, and, not personally caring for their brand of coffee, I opted to go to another coffee shop where the sayings simply said on the side of the cup, “warning, contents may be hot.”

Which I took as warning me that I could burn myself if I weren’t careful, or that it was a counter measure to the Bible reference on the other coffee shops cups and it meant that if I didn’t repent, I’d be going somewhere where it was very hot. Can’t be sure on that one. But I had my suspicions.

So says the scripture

So says the scripture

The company in Norway has now removed those religious quotes and is now featuring poetry, witty quotes, and philosophical messages on their rolls of toilet paper.

The only problem I see with anything on rolls of toilet paper is that you might be inclined to save some of those quotes because you like them. Which can put one in a precarious position when it comes to the last four squares on a toilet paper roll. Do ya save the quote on those last four squares or wipe?

NOTE: When in Norway, Denmark or Sweden and you encounter a religious person who wants to quote the scriptures to you, never ask them to show you any of those quotes if they have the appearance of brown parchment paper.

Just sayin.’


Yeah…and I have “5” of them

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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