Rush Limbaugh Is Sorry! Hold On! Is A Star Rising In the East?

"Fart Broadcasting Network"

“Fart Broadcasting Network”

OMG! Rush Limbaugh is sorry! Unless, he’s really not and learned a new word, “sorry” and thinks it’s some kinda slur against women’s reproductive choices. Or another term for his use of the word, “slut.”

Like, “Sorry ma’am, (but thinking slut) but we have to stick this long thingy up your foo foo because we’re really sorry that you need to have this procedure done but, as sorry as we are, we’re more sorrier that we’ve got nothing better to do than stick this thing up your foo foo bop a doo…honestly, we’re really sorry.”

Hence the term floated around, “Transvaginal Invasive Procedure.” Which basically means when Rush talks about woman’s rights he’s invading their privacy….but that he’s really sorry for bringing the word “trans” as in “TRANSportation” when talking about vaginas.

Could THAT be what he’s sorry about?

Oops

Hey…cool it Rush,,,offer em $10 bucks and maybe you can get a better deal.

(checking news story)

Oops. Damn. Should’ve known, he’s not sorry about that stuff. BUT….fear not, at least he’s sorry. I think. But what is it exactly he’s sorry about. I’ll tell ya. And it has nothing to do with his views of women as sluts.

"Um by the way, ya got any coupons on ya for oxycoton?"

“Um by the way, ya got any coupons on ya for Oxycontin?”

He’s sorry about the “sequester” problem and how, according to him, the White House has taken control of the “sequester” message.”

For those of you who do not own a Funk & Wagnells dictionary, “sequester” does not mean to lock your wife out of the bathroom thereby sequestering yourself so that you can read the latest issue of Playboy undisturbed. Although it could mean that.

Here’s the definition:

What is the sequester and sequestration?

As commonly heard in today’s reporting, as it pertains to federal budgets and the appropriation of funds, according to the Glossary of Political Economy Terms 

Does that clear it up for ya? Kinda dull stuff for the reality show crowd, but, lets look further into what Rush Limburgercheese said.

“Ladies, (sluts) and gentlemen, for the first time in my life, I am ashamed of my country. To be watching all of this, (not his porno collection) to be treated like this, to have my intelligence, (he has intelligence?) all of us, to have our common sense and intelligence insulted the way its being, is, it just makes me ashamed.”

No, he’s not talking about using the “slut” word.” Sorry.

OO

Chill out Rush….take two pills, (your choice) and call me in the morning.

He made those statements while discussing the automatic spending cuts that will hit the federal budgets at the end of this month as the White House is engaged in discussions to offset these cuts and, according to Rush, it’s like old times. For which he is ashamed and feels his intelligence is being insulted.

That is, as I said earlier, if he actually had any intelligence that could be insulted.

Rush accused the President of pointing fingers, (not the index one) at specifically, (gasp) Republicans for stymieing his plans to help middle-class Americans, (now referred to as poor people) despite proposing cuts that are actually cuts in planned spending.

Me thinkith it’s the old you say potatoe I say potato ploy. Or, as we used to say in kindergarten, Na Na Na Na Na Na.

"Hello Rush...Pfssst...I wuz just sittin' around and...pfssst...thinkin' about them there sluts and...pfssst...

“Hello Rush…pfssst…I wuz just sittin’ around and…pfssst…thinkin’ about them there sluts and…pfssst…

He went on to say, (if anybody cares) “Here we get worked up, (not in a sexual manner) over $44 billion dollars. That’s the total amount of money that will not be spent that was scheduled to be spent this year. And in truth, we’re going to spend more this year than we spent last year. We’re just not going to spend as much as projected.”

Huh?

Let me see if I understand this. He’s insulted because we’re NOT going to spend $44 billion dollars that was scheduled to be spent but, even though we’re not going to spend $44 billion dollars we’re going to spend more than $44 billion dollars even though we’re not going to spend as much?

Sounds like my other half when we go shopping and she tells me we’re going to project spending $100 on groceries, but spends $85 on groceries but really wanted to spend $150 dollars but in actuality we’re not going to spend as much.

And HE’s insulted?

YEAH!  THIS is the Rush we all know and love.

YEAH! THIS is the Rush we all know and love.

I dunno, maybe I’m missing the point here folks. I liked it a lot better when he was attacking women as sluts. THAT I understood more clearly and didn’t need my Funk & Wagnells. I already knew what sluts were. It was that invasive ultrasound thingy I had to look up. Geez….I thought it was a new iPod with ultrasound transvaginal capabilities that Sony wanted to sell to women so that they could stick it up their wombs so that a fetus could listen to music for nine months.

Shows ya what I know. Although that might not be a bad idea. As we all know, life begins at conception, (jury’s still out on that one) so why not give the fetus something to amuse him or herself with while they’re in there for 9 months. Video capabilities might be nice as well. You know, some good educational programs like Sesame Street and PBS stuff. Can’t hurt. Maybe even an iPod or a “wombtop.” (the equivalent of a laptop but you get the idea)

And you're laughing at my iPod suggestion.

And you’re laughing at my iPod suggestion.

Rush finally, (thank gawd) went on to say that the media, (which I think he is a part of) is drumming up mass hysteria over the looming budget cuts. “It’s insulting……I don’t know how else to describe it.”

Hey Rush. How about describing it as politics as usual and get back to doing what you do best.

Calling women sluts. THAT….as we all know doesn’t insult his intelligence.

Again….if he actually had any.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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