Who Nude That Nude Art Of Nude Men Would Be Nudes? Um…News I Mean.

Yeah....because she caught a cold from being naked.

Yeah….because she caught a cold from being naked.

Now as far as I’m concerned if a local museum said that they were going to have a presentation of art depicting various artwork of nude men, I thinkith that it would NOT be on my list of things to do this weekend. This is from a males viewpoint. Me being a male of course.

However, in Vienna, Austria, (where “vienna” bread got its name from) the Leopold museum is doing just that. Displaying art work of nude men from 1800 to today. Not that nude men looked any nuder back in 1800 than they do today, but I guess the museum must think so.

But, the strange part of this art display is that attendees to the art display are also nude. Sooooo…….my question is, if I were to attend this art display, “Would I be looking at those art works of nudes from 1800 or would I be looking at real live nudes standing next to me…..and are any of them women?”

(note) 5th guy from the left. "Screw the nude guys....who's that hot nude chick standing over there?"

(note) 5th guy from the left. “Screw the nude guys….who’s that hot nude chick standing over there?”

According to an Associated Press article by George Jahn, who I assume went to the display, and wore shoes and socks, because the museum said you should be nude to view the artwork, except for shoes and socks, which is understandable because you all know how seeing nude feet turns people on, he writes that the 300 paintings, photographs, drawings and sculptures focused on the bare male and was a, “goose-bump-raising instance of life imitating art.”

I’m getting goose-bumps just writing about this. Nothing like being in a room filled with 60 art loving profusely sweating men wearing only sneakers and socks.

Hmmm…..reminds me of gym class in high school in the shower room. Except the only art there was graffiti.

HARK!  Is that a woman I see standing there nude? Oh, oh....better stare at the guys naked photos or something may arise."

HARK! Is that a woman I see standing there nude? Oh, oh….better stare at the male naked photo artwork or something may arise.. Oops…excuse me….it’s a skinny guy with a ponytail…RATS!”

I like this one quote from the story: “With no other viewers around, nude quickly became the new normal as the visitors quickly gathered around a, “dressed” exhibition guide and moved slowly from one art work to the next.”

Yeah, if “I” was the only guy, (the guide) dressed and surrounded by a bunch of naked men you bet your butt I’d be moving slowly from one art work to another verrrry slowly too.

"Damn...can't reach that itch....Hey...museum guide, can ya scratch my back for me?"

“Damn…can’t reach that itch….Hey…museum guide, can ya scratch my back for me?”

However there was one very brave woman who wanted to attend the event. 40-year-old Irina Wolf, (who obviously would be surround by a bunch of naked wolves) said that she is not one who regularly strips in public places. You know, like Wal-Marts, CVS and Dunkin Donuts like a lot of us do. Dunkin Donuts only because those powdered jelly donuts tend to get all over your clothes when you’re eating them. Works for me.

She said, “I’m at a big advantage here. “Only men around. I want to see how I relate to such a group.”

Oh sure Irina. You know how you’re going to relate don’t ya.  Those guys are going to lose interest in the naked men art work and focus on the real live art work…your freakin’ naked hot body. Providing, of course, that Irina, a computer engineer, actually has a hot body. Then again, after looking a naked mens’ bodies for an hour or so any naked woman’s body is gonna look hot. At least as far as I’m concerned.

Where's Ashton Kutcher and those ***** camera ads when ya need him?

Where’s Ashton Kutcher and those Nikon camera ads when ya need him?

Florian Kahlenberg from Munich said that he found it, “interesting to stroll through a museum naked. ”  And added, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Sure thing Florian. Just like I’ve always wanted to run naked through my local casino. Just to see if anyone mistakes part of my body for a slot machine handle.

Now this is nothing new in Austria. Nudism that is. Thousands of men, women and children skinny dip daily in the Danube along stretches reserved for them during the summer. Some might actually do it during the winter, which may be the inspiration for the old song, “Blue Danube.”  With regard to verrry cold body parts.

There is still some intolerance to nudity in Vienna. The museum was forced to cover up some promotional posters last year after complaints that some of those promo posters plastered all over the city showed three young athletic men of different races wearing nothing but blue, white and red socks and soccer boots.

Which is quite understandable. Austria’s flag is a simple combination of red and white stripes, while ours is red, white and blue, so that might confuse Austrian’s as to the country those nude guys were promoting. Had they been wearing just red and blue socks along with the soccer boots I’m sure there wouldn’t have been such a pubic outcry…..um, sorry, that should read “public” outcry.

Austria's flag

Austria’s flag

So, if you’re planning to take a trip to Vienna soon, have absolutely nothing to wear and can’t afford to go out and splurge on a new wardrobe, but really want to take in the sights, (naked men and art) I would think that the Leopold museum would be the right place for you to visit.

Might wanna bring a fanny pack to carry your camera, or, if you’re a shy kinda guy, to cover your fanny……or fronty.

Just sayin.’

Now…..for the red blooded male who wouldn’t be caught dead at a nude male art show……..Dr. Hook


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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to Who Nude That Nude Art Of Nude Men Would Be Nudes? Um…News I Mean.

  1. Velia says:

    Try visiting 3single dot com. There you can talk to amateur women who look like your neighbor. Have fun 🙂

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