Hit Men, Or…… Um Hit Cats Employed By Disneyland.

Shocked I tell ya. Shocked. Did I say I was shocked? Oh yeah, sorry, but I WAS shocked to learn that Disneyland, the home to a gazillion cartoon characters including their most famous duo, Mickey and Minnie mouse are 0n Disney’s hit list.

YES! A contract has been put out on Mickey and Minnie. OMG!!!

Mickey and Minnier in happier times before contracts wer put out on the couple. Who are now in a witness protection program.

Mickey and Minnie in happier times before contracts were put out on the couple. They are now in a witness protection program.

MisfitWisdom, using a secret infrared lens, caught this exclusive photo of one of the hit cats lurking behind some grass cover at Disneyland.

According to the folks at “Nutty News,” because most of them are just plain nuts, or eat a lot of peanuts while posting stupid stories on the Internet, Disneyland owns 200 or so feral cats. By day, they reside in five permanent feeding stations (cat condos) hidden within the park’s 85 public acres.

But by night, they are released into the empty park to feed on hundreds of little Mickeys and Minnies. OMG!!! The deprivation of it all!

Our undercover photographers were also able to capture photos of other members of the cat hit squad team. Be on the look out for the following cat mouse hit squad members.

Obviously the leader, "The Catfather" threatening his next victim.

Obviously the leader, “The Catfather” threatening his next victim.

This dastardly member of the gang, "Lucifer" specializes in mouse waterboarding.

This dastardly member of the gang, “Lucifer” specializes in mouse waterboarding.

Always high on catnip, this hit cat is known as "Cheshire"

Always high on catnip, this hit cat is known as “Cheshire”

Once a former special ops cat for the Air Force, "Vet Cat" now works for the Disney mouse hit squad.

Once a former special ops cat for the Air Force, “Vet Cat” now works for the Disney mouse hit squad.

The last of the major crew of hit carts is this guy known as "Bonkers." Formally employed by the "A-Team."

The last of the major crew of hit cats is this guy known as “Bonkers.” Formally employed by the “A-Team.”

Park officials first employed these animals in 1955. During the renovation of the Sleeping Beauty castle two years later, (installation of two jacuzzis and a personal beauty salon to keep Sleeping Beauty beautiful) more than 100 cats were found living in the unused portions, covered with fleas.

Well of course they’re going to be covered with fleas. Damn, everybody knows Sleeping Beauty sleeps away half her life while the Prince is out messing around with Snow White or some other floozy so who in the hell is gonna take care of the cats and give them flea prevention stuff? Or even take them to the Castle vet.

So what is Disneyland providing for these cats in return for knocking off mice …..besides giving them jobs knocking off poor defenseless mice?

“Nowadays, these cats are much better controlled. They are spayed, neutered, and given regular shots.”

Oh yeah!  Shots of what? A snort of Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort to get them all hyped up to go out and knock off some innocent mice.

“Additionally, they are also well fed and kept in open spaces that cannot be reached by the public.”

Hmmmm. So let me see if I understand all of this.

Disneyland has over 200 feral cats that they keep in open spaces. They’re spayed, neutered, given shots, (booze) and can eat whatever the heck they wanna eat because Disney says that they are “well fed” so that means top of the line Fancy Feast, Meow Mix and Kibbles N Bits.

How much ya wanna bet there’s some catnip activity going on there too.

Note to the Feds: Might wanna get the NARC’s to check that out.

Come to think of it, Disneyland’s mouse hit squad may be responsible for some prominent mice who I haven’t seen lately.

When was the last time you saw………..

Mortimer Mouse. (MISSING)

Mortimer Mouse. (MISSING)

Or…….

Roquefort Mouse (MISSING)

Roquefort Mouse (MISSING)

OR…..

Morty Fieldmouse (MISSING)

Morty Fieldmouse (MISSING)

OR……

Brent Mouseburger (MISSING)

Brent Mouseburger (MISSING)

Is there no stopping this cat and mouse hit squad?  Are all cartoon Disney mouse characters doomed? Is Brent Mouseburger really a Disney cartoon character mouse? If so, is he too doomed? Are there mouse scanners set up as you enter Disneyland to prevent anyone from smuggling in cheese? Will anyone wearing a set of mouse ears be suspect?

And finally, where the hell is Annette and the rest of the “Mouseketeers” when ya need them?annette-funicello

Oops….oh yeah…..sorry…I forgot, Annette is allllllll grown up now and doesen’t play with mice anymore.annette-funicello-picture-47

RATS!  Um….I mean…..MICE!!

M-I-C….”See ya real soon kids.” K-E-Y….”Why? Because we love you.” M-O-U-S……….OMG RUN! It’s the cat hit squad!!!!!!

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Copyright 2013 MousefitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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