A Crappy Story….As Crappy Stories Go….Literally.

hitler_toilet_012513_620pxNow take a look at this one of a kind item (photo above) and tell me if you recognize it.

Yes, I know what you’re all saying. “But Misfit, it’s a stinkin’ (literally) toilet for cripes sake!”

Yes…yes…how very perceptive of you. Obviously you’ve had much experience with such a device.  BUT….not this particular one.

Why you ask? I’ll tell ya. Because this toilet is none other than Adolf Hitler’s personal toilet which came off of his private yacht the Aviso Grille.  Which I’m sure he stood in front of many times after pooping and saluted it with a “Sieg Heil!”

So what’s the big deal about this toilet, other than it belonged to da Führer? It now resides in Florence, New Jersey and the owner is putting it up for sale.

The owner, Greg Kohfeldt, acquired the toilet some 20 years ago when he bought an auto repair shop, which obviously the previous owner left behind. The toilet, not the repair shop.

The Aviso Grille was scrapped in the early 50’s to a salvage yard but the toilet was rescued, by “nature calling” so to speak. Sam Carlani, the auto repair shop guy needed a toilet, so a close friend of his said that he had one available. Yep….Hitler’s toilet.  Minus any Hitler poop of course. Although that might have been a really good selling point had Hitler not flushed the last time he pooped.

If you think this guy is nuts for trying to sell Hitler’s toilet, take into consideration that people have actually taken road trips just to see it over the years. It’s also listed in “Roadside America’s” online guide. Go figure.

Yep....a lot of hair salons went out of business after he bought the farm.

Yep….a lot of hair salons went out of business after he bought the farm.

The toilet has also appeared on a British version of “Antiques Roadshow” in London when they flew Kohfeldt to make an appearance, along with the toilet, in an attempt to sell it. No buyer was found but Kohfeldt said he was happy to accept the free trip and relished an opportunity to mock the Führer by taking the toilet to places Hitler only dreamed of according to this article from “Tablet Magazine.”

Perhaps had he dressed as Hitler and demonstrated the functionality of the toilet he might have had a few offers. Nothing like seeing someone actually pooping in a toilet to get some interest. Maybe even dress up like Adolf. Even give one of those (again) “Sieg Heil” salutes.

I find this quote from the article interesting: “And so even when presented with the fact, the hard, white, glassy truth that is Hitler’s toilet, it is nearly impossible to accept the reality of what the object is simply because the notion of Hitler doing normal things feels apocryphal. (erroneous; fictitious)

WHAT?  Hitler didn’t poop?  Or, that Hitler may or may not have pooped in this particular toilet. Or….as we all know….Hitler was always full of poop. Which, when translated into English, “Hitler was full of s**t.”  Not that anyone would ever say that to his face and live to tell about it.toilet pee

The article also used that stupid word that most of us had no idea what it meant, “apocryphal” saying that this whole story of Hitler’s toilet is, “Almost as “apocryphal” as the story of his toilet sitting for the last half-century in a New Jersey garage.”

Like someone would realllly pay attention to a toilet sitting in a garage for a half-century and wonder, “Geez, why is that dirty old toilet sitting in this garage.”

I base this on the number of times I’ve stopped at various service stations to use the restroom and spotted similar toilets. Never once thinking about if by chance Hitler had used it. I mean, what are the freakin’ odds. Maybe….just maybe, some other famous person, but Hitler….no way. So why would any of us pay any attention to a toilet in an auto repair shop. Unless of course, it had a swastika on it.

So, I guess if you’re a toilet collector, or into historic artifacts like toilets, or you need a toilet, or you just want to experience history first hand, or flush, you could contact Mr. Kohfeldt in Florence, New Jersey.

Ya might wanna make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Liker maybe a years supply of toilet paper from Wal-Mart and a brand new toilet……that hasn’t been pooped in.

Just sayin.’

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Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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