I was never a bright light bulb in school. More like a 5 watt bulb, as bulbs go. I’m sure many of you can relate to your days in a classroom when your thoughts were no where in the classroom but off somewhere else in deep thought. Like ,”Boy is this teacher really hot looking.” Providing you actually had a teacher that WAS hot looking and not like most of the teachers I had school like Sister Mary Iglesias who wore thick glasses and had a moustache.
Which is why I never learned anything in “Our Lady of Continuing Agony Catholic” school because I didn’t have a hot looking teacher that I could pay attention to. Not that if she was hot looking that I would learn anything except picturing her naked while she taught me biology with a hands-on lesson.
But, some kids did luck out and actually have a hot looking teacher. Like those kids at the “Haydock Intermediate School” in Oxnard, California as reported in a story by “Examiner.com.”
The teacher, Stacie Halas, 32, was fired from her job because school officials discovered that she had a past life as a porn star. ( this has nothing to do with reincarnation) Which, as far as I’m concerned, should be great qualifications for teaching a biology class. Might eliminate the age-old biology tradition of dissecting frogs if ya catch my drift here.
A three-judge panel said that Stacie, due to her indecent past in the adult film industry, is not fit to return to the classroom. They said that while Halas was truthful about her past in her testimony, due to the permanent nature of the Internet, the adult images of her will compromise her ability to be a role model and teacher due to her porn past.
Yes, we all know that if you ever posed naked anywhere it will eventually pop up on the Internet and will stay there forever. So if little Johnny or Suzie are doing a homework assignment about pornography, as most intermediate school kids do, and Ms. Halas photos appeared on their computers, their little minds would be corrupted for life.
Similar to my mind with images of Sister Iglesia’s moustache which scarred me for life thinking that all women at some point grow moustaches, acquire very deep voices, and have secret desires to torture all men.
It wasn’t till I learned, through many hours of counselling, that this was not true. It’s only women who do not take their hormone pills that have secret desires to torture all men. Along with ex wives.
All this came to light when students, (a bunch of dirty low down rat finks) informed officials about an adult video online in which Halas appeared in. Now keep in mind that all their school computers have firewalls on them that protect against pornography.
Soooooo. Where were the little twerps getting their porno from? Yep….their smartphones. Which might explain why most of the male students flunked their class homework assignments. Ya can’t pay attention to math and history if you’re watching porno on your smart phone. Although, as far as I’m concerned, much more interesting.
So what red-blooded American kid is gonna go running to school officials screaming that they just observed their teacher in a porn video on their smart phone? Obviously your basic nerd. Most likely a really brainy kid whose into developing computer programs and stealth technology and thinks “intercourse” is when you insert a cable into a USB port.
Now in all fairness, Halas never concealed her porn past. She was quite upfront when questioned about her past and stated that she never starred in adult films during her tenure as a middle school teacher. Her work in porn took place from 2005-2006 at a time in which she was financially strapped after a relationship fell apart.
Which is completely understandable. I myself have considered doing porn movies to make ends meet but there’s no demand for short 5′ 4′ Italian guys with big noses who are in their 70’s. Which is yet another reason I always ask for donations to this blog.
Halas’ attorney issued a statement that read: ” We were hoping we could show you could overcome your past. I think she’s representative of a lot of people who may have a past that may not involve anything illegal or anything that hurts anybody.”
I can personally vouch for the fact that I have never been hurt by watching any sort of pornography. Excluding that one time I almost choked on a banana while watching Linda Lovelace in a scene from “Deep Throat.”
The teacher’s appeal to be reinstated failed. But her attorney is suggesting that they may pursue justice in another court.
And Gawd knows there are plenty candidates out there famous and not famous who have done worse and we all forgave them. Well, most of us that have brains and know how to forgive. And many of them went on to still achieve greatness. Shall I remind you? Of course I will.
Bill Clinton for getting some sort of “job” in a closet or something.
Richard Nixon for just being Richard Nixon. Oh yeah, for employing plumbers who “plumbed” while breaking and entering.
Lindsay Lohan who always gets forgiven for breaking the law and for being just plain stupid.
Eliott Spitzer for spitzing around with hookers but landed a job on TV because not everyone thinks spitzing with hookers is a bad thing.
Jane Fonda. Oops….sorry, nobody forgives her about going to Vietnam over 40 years ago because hating someone is a good thing. While forgiveness is a really bad, bad, bad, bad thing. Isn’t it?
And many more….I’m just running out of space here.
In my own humble worthless opinion, I do not think a persons past, (short of murder) should keep them from doing ANY job. The past is the past. I do believe there are some people who believe in the “born again” philosophy. Which is fine….as long as it applies to everyone and not just them.
So, the question here is. Should a teacher with a past in pornography be allowed in the classroom if they’ve done nothing criminal?
Or, to put it another way. For those of you who gasp at the thought of a teacher with a, (gasp) actual past………………….
Let he who hath no sin cast the first salami…..OR…..as the Big Guy would say……
My verdict. Let Halas teach and put the past behind her. If the little kiddies access her porno site, so be it. There’s a lot more stuff out there on the Internet far worse. Thank the Internet, smartphones, tablets, iPods and technology nerds for that.
I’d be willing to bet any of you that those that decided Halas shouldn’t be allowed to teach have at one point or another watched porno. Or….at least had sex. OMG!!!!
Tar and feather time folks.
So, in conclusion, congratulations to the three judge panel at the Haylock Intermediate School in Oxnard, California who have taught their children an important lesson in life.
Which is, “You F**K up once in life…..you’re outta here.”
Which may also have been Sister Iglesia’s motto as well. Cause she expelled me from class forever simply because I gave her a “Gillette” razor and a can of “Foamy” for a Christmas present.
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