Ya Gotta Hand It To Those Germans When It Comes To Sexy Looking Guys

Yes....a "bad rabbit" calendar. Just to set the mood for today's blog.

Yes….a “bad rabbit” calendar. Just to set the mood for today’s blog.

Today’s blog is about beefcake calendars. German beefcake calendars. What beef and cake have to do with calendars I haven’t a clue. Yes, I know “beef” refers to hunky type macho- duck type abs bursting all over the place men. I guess the cake means “sumptuous” to women who like cake and perceive the “beef,” (men) as tasty, as in, “cake.” As a guy writing this….I think I’m getting nauseous.

Anyhow, throughout today’s blog, because it IS about calendars, I thought I’d insert various other calendars that might be of interest to you. Or calendar collectors. All are actual calendars and can be found at “www.cafepress.com.” Like the one below….. honest.

Yep...it all goes downhill from here as far as calendars go.

Yep…it all goes downhill from here as far as calendars go.

Now, on with our “beefcake” calendar story.

Sure, we here in America have some great ideas when it comes to raising funds for certain charities and groups by getting a bunch of firefighters, construction workers or policemen to pose for a sexy calendar. Nothing turns on women like seeing any of those hunks with biggggg abs and muscles galore.  Sells a lot of calendars and raises a lot of bucks too.

But, Germany has come out with the hunk calendar to beat all hunk calendars. The “Pants Calendar.”

Just take a look at this sexy German guy with that hot chain saw. Makes ya wanna go out and buy several chain saws, or, at least some sexy brown undershorts and a wife beater shirt like this guy is wearing. Nice socks too.

Hmmm. I'm not sure which is sexier. The guy or the classic Audi Quattro....tough call.

Hmmm. I’m not sure which is sexier. The guy or the classic Audi Quattro….tough call.

On top of that, you also get an image of a classic 1970’s car too. Gawd, if I let my other half see this she’s gonna get all excited and I might not be able to handle her crazy desires after she sees that photo. Um, you women reading today’s blog, try to calm down a bit and finish reading this before you go all hog-wild. Thanks.

Besides the Audi Quattro, which to me, is much hotter than that guy standing there, there’s also a guy posing with a Volvo Amazon. Which is either a car or an Amazon woman. I couldn’t locate a photo of that guy but apparently he’s sporting skin-tight leopard print trunks.

If he looks anything like the guy in the above photo I may have to take one of my anti-nausea pills.

Dogs get equal time as well.

Dogs get equal time as well.

The creator of these calendars is Janet Schurmeyer, from Wuppertal. (a city in North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, located in and around the Wupper river valley, and is situated east of the city of Düsseldorf and south where a lot of Germans wear what is known as “wuppers” on very rainy days so as not to get their feet wet)

She said that she dreamed up the idea for the calendar as an antidote to traditional poses of semi-clad women draped over curvy sports cars. Or was it semi-clad sports cars draped over curvy women? Not sure.

“We only use men, most of them are our friends, and they are often not wearing the most attractive underwear. Whatever it is, they feel comfortable in.”

Not sure, again, if she meant if they felt comfortable in their underwear or the cars.

Nothing like a sexy airport body scan photo calendar

Nothing like a sexy airport body scan photo calendar

.

My thinking is that if you’re a guy standing around in the woods in your not too sexy underwear and a big bear or any other ferocious animal comes along, I think my first choice would be to feel comfortable having my picture taken from “inside” the car. Lest one of those animals comes along and decides to have its way with me because I look really sexually enticing in my brown underwear and wife beater shirt. You know how animals think.

Of course the only exception would be laughing hyenas. Once they spot any guy dressed like that in the woods they’d be laughing their tails off at the sight which would give you time to beat feet outta the woods.

And Rednecks.....for all of  Y'All that have calendars in your outhouses.

And Rednecks…..for all of Y’All that have calendars in your outhouses.

Schurmeyer goes on to say that, “It’s about equal with men and women who are buying the calendars. It’s not a question of sex, it’s more about a person’s sense of humor.”

I’m thinking that must be what any German guy caught buying one of those calendars says to a salesperson when they’re buying that calendar.

“Vat? Oh, der calender…ha ha, ha, ha…..noooooo, iss not a sex ding…I juss haff a great sense of der humor Fraulien…ha, ha ha, ha.”

Unless Germany has a “don’t ask, don’t tell” law when it comes to buying calendars. Ya never know.

And of course seniors...um.....crabby ones...."Hey...gimmie my freakin' discount pal!"

And of course seniors…um…..crabby ones….”Hey…gimmie my freakin’ discount pal!”

Apparently the calendars are selling very well online should any of you reading this blog care to research calendars and find their on-line site. I chose not to, only because my nausea pill hasn’t quite kicked in yet. And dinner is almost ready.

According to sales figures, an equal amount of men and women are buying the calendars. And, they’ve sold some to mechanics who have actually hung them up in their garages alongside the regular girlie pin-up calendars.

Schurmeyer adds, “There are some girl mechanics now as well, so why shouldn’t they have something for the wall as well.”

Like maybe this one…….

Did Al Roker come up with ths one?

Did Al Roker come up with this one while touring the White House?

Um, well maybe not THAT one, but at least one that exemplifies the true essence of “beefcake.”

Ooooo.....la.....la.....la.....la....la.....la....(hic)

Ooooo…..la…..la…..la…..la….la…..la….(hic)

Eat your heart out ladies……………..

That nausea feeling I had is gone but I think I need a shot of that “Southern Comfort” this hunk is drinkin.’

(DONATE) Ach du lieber….!!!  Once again the MisfitWisdom PayPal link, which should be on everyone’s calendar, is posted below. If only to serve as a reminder that you haven’t yet donated to this wonderful inane blog. If the link is not highlighted, (blue….”blau” if you’re German and reading this in Germany) then copy and paste the link into your browser to get to the PayPal site. Deutsche Marks accepted……..

Donations to this blog since January 2009 AD…………….( 1 ) (Hey Germany…..be the first from your country to make a donation and show up those other countries that never donate)donations two dogs begging

Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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