No sooner had I written a blog about House Speaker John Boehner telling Senator Harry Reid to “go f**k himself and flipping him the ol bird, when yet another story involving such bird is in the news. YES! It must be “National Flip Someone The Bird Week.”
The other bird incident took place in the great state of bird flipping New York. We’ve all, at one time or another, while driving through New York city have encountered the masterful art of bird flipping.
“Hey ya f**king jerk. Ya cut me off you damn mother****r. Where’d the hell did ya get yer freakin’ license, at Wal-Mart?”
“Ahhh shaddap you damn low life cab driver. Do ya think you own da road. Here, dis is for you and yer mother!” (flipping the bird….or “boid” as they say in New Joisey, as well as the official pronunciation of the word as listed in the official New York/New Jersey Mafia handbook not available on Amazon.com or Kindle)
The 2nd U. S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York last Thursday ruled that a Vietnam veteran and retired airline pilot who was arrested after giving the finger (the bird) to a police officer can sue the police for malicious prosecution.
What happened was that John Swartz was pulled over by officers after they observed him giving the finger, (the bird) and thought that it might be an indication of a domestic dispute. Which is hard for me to imagine considering that as Swartz was passing the officers he reached his arm out of the passenger side of the vehicle over its roof and gave the finger, (the bird) to a local police officer after he saw the officer using a radar detector.
This is great news if you’ve ever wanted to give the bird to a police officer after he’s given you a ticket. But….don’t take my word for it. You’re on your own if you choose to whip out the bird and get arrested. Some police officers just do not have a sense of humor or a liking for birds. Has something to do with birds pooping on their vehicles while they’re on stakeouts.
According to the court, the act of giving the finger, (the bird) was “a gesture of insult known for centuries” and restored the claim brought by John Swartz and his wife after their May 2006 encounter with police as they drove through the upstate New York village of St. Johnsville according to the AP.
Have any of you ever seen the photographs of General George Custer as he fought the battle of Little Big Horn when he knew that it was hopeless and he was surrounded by Indians that shows him flipping the bird shortly before his untimely demise? I bet not.
Did ya ever notice that one guy in the back of the boat when General George Washington was crossing the Delaware back in December of 1776 when it was so freaking’ cold you couldn’t even pee off the side of the boat because it would freeze. Yep….the guy was flipping off George the bird.
And what about Joan of Arc who was burned at the stake. Yeah, she wanted one last cigarette. She didn’t need any matches but do ya think those guys burning her would give her one. Nope. So guess what….she flipped them off in one last defiant gesture. Good for you Joan.
So it’s no surprise that the judges in this New York case agreed that flipping an officer the bird was ok. The judges also said that Swartz was not speeding or committing any other traffic violation and simply continued on his way after giving the officer the bird. Which, by the way, the offer never returned, the bird that is. As far as I know, he still has it in his possession. Or is in evidence lockup at the police department.
Now I’ve never seen anything wrong with flipping the bird to anyone. Except maybe some 250 pound six-foot eight guy who may have pissed me off. In that case I just tend to grumble very softly to myself while flipping the bird in a concealed manner. I’m not stupid ya know.
I’ve even, on certain occasions, flipped off my other half, lovingly of course, as she has, on occasion, lovingly of course, flipped me off in return. It’s what couples do when they love each other and don’t wanna waste any time saying, “f**k off ya damn jerk.” And I as I said, it’s more lovable and caring just using sign language.
I personally think that with the judge’s ruling that flipping the bird may become totally acceptable in today’s society. In fact, there should be a “flipping the bird” symbol that’s universal that can be used on various things like ATM machines, phones, and computers. Any of those devices malfunction, hit the “bird” button. they’ll get the message.
Oh yeah. Especially when telemarketers call ya. What better use for a flipping the bird button than that!
So let’s thank those judges for having the brains to know that flipping the ol bird should be a protected right guaranteed by the United States of America, John Boehner, John Swartz, George Washington, General George Custer, Joan of Arc and Pat Robertson.
The hall of fame of bird flippers.
Gawd bless the bird flippers of America.
May the Swartz Be With you.
(DONATE) The Audubon Society approved MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) it may have bird poop covering it. In that event, simply copy and paste the link into your browser to get to the PayPal site. All those who actually care enough to donate for creative effort, I’ll NEVER EVER flip you the bird. As for the rest of you who refuse to donate………….
Lovingly of course,
Hey….if the bird fits…..wear it!
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