HEY! If That McAfee Guy Can’t Protect Himself, How The Hell Is He Gonna Protect My Computer!

HEY! I can't even protect my own damn computer....you're on yer own pal!"

HEY! I can’t even protect my own damn computer….you’re on yer own pal!”

Every freakin’ day it’s just one thing after another. Worry, worry, worry. I’ve got enough things to worry about without worrying about worrying that my computer may become infected with some dreaded virus that makes me worry even more because I don’t have the cash to get it repaired, which makes me even more worried, because even though I have a virus protection, I’m worried that this McAfee guy may be locked up in some Guatemalan jail, which worries me even more, and with him in jail, who the hell is gonna protect my computer from a virus. I think I’m worried.

Then I’m worried that some Guatemalan Dick Cheney type guy may have waterboarded McAfee and made him spill the beans about how he protects computers from viruses.

How to tell when your computer has a virus.

How to tell when your computer has a virus.

Look. If John McAfee, the guy who is a software genius and founded the “McAfee” company, which I assume is his parents names too, “McAfee,” and why he chose that name for his software company, well, if he can’t even protect himself from being arrested in Guatemala, how the heck do any of us expect him, or his virus protection software to protect us?

Isn’t that what virus protection software is supposed to do. Protect us?  From viruses and Guatemalans. Unless, it only works if you’re in the United States and some Guatemalan hacker tries it while he’s here on vacation. Hmmm…..that could be it.

Example of what can happen

Example of what can happen if you’re in Guatemala and trust McAffee to protect you.

McAfee was arrested by those Guatemalans for entering the country illegally. Kinda like a virus enters one’s computer.

The reason, I assume, that McAfee went to Guatemala was to avoid authorities in Belize where he is a person of interest, (not to be confused with the TV show, “Person of Interest”) in the murder of a neighbor of his which may have stemmed from an ongoing argument he had with his neighbor, or neighbors with regard to keeping aggressive dogs, illegal weapons and drug paraphernalia at his home on the island where he lived.

McAfee has denied killing Gregory Viant Faull, who was shot to death in November on the Belize island where both men lived.

Which raises the question. Why the hell are ya running from the law if you’re innocent ya jerk? You’re leaving all of our computers unprotected for cripes sake!

Least you could have done was left all of us some computer condoms or something. Gave us a hint. Sent us a damn e-mail. Slapped some sort of warning notice on our computers that said something like:


Now personally, as a McAfee user, I could have chosen to go with “Norton” virus protection. But, the only reason I didn’t was because, as we all know, Ed Norton, (alias Art Carney) is no longer with us, having gone to the moon with Alice Cramden, so I figured how much protection could “Norton” provide if he’s long gone.

"Norton....yer a genius...a  big virus protection company. Brilliant!"

“Norton….yer a genius…a big virus protection company. Brilliant!”

I mean, if your computer is gonna be protected, you obviously want the head guy around to protect it. And I sure as hell don’t trust the second guy in command at “Norton,” Ralph Cramden to do the job. Besides, I think he’s no longer with us either. Damn it “Norton,” hire some younger people will ya. Call up George Clooney or Brad Pitt for Gawd’s sake.

If you're unsure on how to protect or use your computer, this is another method of learning.

If you’re unsure on how to protect or use your computer, this is another method of learning.

What worries me even more about McAfee is that he’s used doubles in eluding capture. On top of that, he’s been blabbing about all of this stuff on a blog. A FREAKIN’ BLOG!!!

This is a guy who’s supposed to be protecting all of us from a virus and he’s spilling his guts out all over the place on a blog!  Hey….why don’t ya just give out all of my passwords while you’re at it!

McAfee explained his reasoning for fleeing to Guatemala: “I need a safe place where I can actually speak out. Now that I’m here, (Guatemala) I can speak freely. I can speak openly.”

Most likely in Guatemalan….which none of us, except Guatemalans understand.

With regard to fleeing Belize, he said that, “Belize does not have a good track record of providing safety when they ask to question you.”

He indicated that he feared for his life if he were to turn himself in for questioning in Belize.

HEY! You damn well better fear for your life if you come back to the U.S. cause I’m gonna beat the livin’ crap outta you if my computer becomes infected with a damn virus while you’re down there in Guatenowhere and my computers not protected!

News photo of a McAfee user taking her frustration out on an image of McAfee on her computer.

News photo of a McAfee user taking her frustration out on an image of McAfee on her computer.

Geez…..go back to Belize, get rid of the freakin’ dogs and buy a few cats, dump the illegal weapons, or, sell them to the opposition in Syria, they’re always in the market for some good guns, and get rid of that drug paraphernalia and substitute it for pornography.

See, no guns no noisy growling dogs, and some pornography instead of drug stuff and you’re a normal type person living in Guatemala. Then I can stop worrying about my computer being attacked by a damn virus.

Oh yeah….I ain’t paying my monthly fee for my McAfee virus protection until you get your butt back here and protect MY butt…..and computer.


I drop McAfee and just take my computer hard drive to CVS and get it a virus/flu shot.

Works every year for me, so why not my computer.

AND…….I don’t have to worry about those people at CVS blowing the country and going to Guatemala.

Um….unless they have a bunch of loud barking dogs, illegal weapons and drug paraphernalia hanging around their stores.

Hmmm….I’m pretty sure they don’t have any of those things…..so I’m pretty safe……except for those pharmacist guys behind the counter.

I know THEY have a lot of drug paraphernalia hangin’ around.

RATS! Now I’m really worried.

Better explain all this to the little kiddies with their own computers this way: (below)computer story telling

Thanks to McAfee………………..


NOTE: Yes, I know McAfee does not run the company anymore. It’s a bit confusing if you try to find out who is actually running it if you do a web search. Then again, I could have missed it. Sooooo, maybe they should temporarily call it, “We don’t have a clue fee.”

(DONATE) The drug free, illegal weapon and stinkin’ barking dog free MisfitWisdom PayPal donate site link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) it may have a virus. So, in the meantime, just copy and paste the link into your browser until I can get to a CVS, Walgreens or Rite Aid drug store and get this computer a virus protection shot.

Donations since January 2009 AD……( 1 )


Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to HEY! If That McAfee Guy Can’t Protect Himself, How The Hell Is He Gonna Protect My Computer!

  1. Doc says:

    That’s why I have two dogs, one for a backup.

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