My exact sentiments. Except I would have said, “Who the f**k is Grover Norquist anyway and why should we give a rats ass?”
Besides….”Grover!” Really! Who the hell names their kid “Grover” in this day and age? Except for Grover Cleveland’s parents. And 11 other parents who may or may not have been smoking something really great.
Let’s see. There was President Grover Cleveland, (not from Cleveland, Ohio) There was one activist named Grover, along with one attorney, seven professional baseball players, and of course, Grover the Muppet. Who may, or may not be related to Grover Norquist.
Only because Grover the Muppet has stuffing for brains and it takes a hand stuck up inside of him to make him talk and say stupid things. Hmmmm……then again, he could very well be related to Grover Norquist.
So why are a lot of Republicans, including George H.W. Bush think Grover should be “bushwhacked?” Besides snickering every time they have to call him by his first name. Or because some of them may have named their dogs Grover.
Once upon a time Grover had this great idea. Get any Republican who was planning to run for President, Congress, Governor, or sell Girl Scout Cookies to sign a “pledge” to never….I said……NEVER in their lifetimes raise or even think about raising taxes.
Did I mention the word “NEVER?”
Then Grover took all of those signed pledges off to his “American’s For Tax Reform” office, opened up his huge Grover Norquist safe, deposited all of those signed signatures into a Grover Norquist safe deposit box, then swallowed the Grover Norquist combination to the safe paper, and locked up the safe…..forever.
Until such time Republicans decided that, “Hey, we may have to actually raise taxes in order to save the good citizens of Sherwood Forest.” (in this case America)
Then, as this fairy tale goes, Grover became extremely upset that those that pledged not to raise taxes, would dare to go against him and their signed pledges.
So, like any good Grover would do, after stomping and yelling and throwing a Grover tantrum, he yelled out to the ratfink pledge signers, “Oh yeah….well I still remember that damn safe combination and if any of you even think of going against me and raising taxes I’m blabbing your names all over the place…so there!”
Which is what prompted George H. W. Bush to say, “It’s – who the hell is Grover Norquist anyway?” Or….in other words…………”Who the F**K does Grover Norquist think he is anyway?” Other than possibly the father of Grover the Muppet.
Yes, some prominent Republicans, Senator Lindsay Graham, (R-SC) Rep. Peter King, (R-NY) Senator Saxby Chambliss, (R-GA) Senator John McCain, (R-Ariz) and Speaker John Boner…um…..Bohner, have all decided that it’s time to stuff if to Norquist. Which wouldn’t be too bad considering he could then, once out of politics, have a bright future alongside his stuffed Muppet son Grover.
Might even get all those Muppets to sign some sort of pledge to never allow any human to stick their hands up a Muppet ever again. Not very sanitary if ya ask me.
I hate the idea of raising taxes just like every other American taxpayer does. But, it may have to come to that to bring down our massive deficit. It’s called “biting the bullet.” Or in this instance, “biting Grover Norquist.” Also not very sanitary.
I’d personally, if I were some of those Republicans, get a dog named “Grover” to actually bite Grover Norquist. Just for the irony of it all. AND…..at the same time I’d make him sign a pledge to change his name to something other than Grover so that all dogs and Muppets gain back some respectability. Not to mention President Grover Cleveland, that one activist, attorney, and those seven baseball players.
And finally, lest some other parents decide to name any of their kids Grover, pass a law that states that the name “Grover” will now and henceforth solely be used to name dogs and Muppets.
Or a weasel……….which is what this blog was all about in the first place.
No disrespect to any weasels.
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