The one word, that sums it all up…………….UMPIRES!! Which also gives me the opportunity to once again post my favorite annual umpire cartoon. Which, for the most part, summarizes my opinions of umpires. (below)
Now here’s my major complaint folks. Why don’t umpires have really good prescription eyeglass coverage on their medical plans? It’s quite obvious most of them are either half blind or have serious stigmatism problems. I have determined this by the number of really bad calls this season.
The most blatant of which took place during a Yankee game this year when a player reached into the stand to catch a foul ball, a fan picked up the ball, but the player sold it to the umpire that he actually had it in his glove, which the umpire bought big time. (the umpire never asked to see if the player had the ball in his glove)
“Hey…I got da ball….I got it!”
“Um, are you sure you have it….um….can I see it?”
“Well, er…..I just gave it to this fan over here in the 14th row so I really can’t show it to you anymore, but, trust me, I did catch it.”
“Well, ok….your word’s good enough for me.”
Then, there’s the instant replay option. WHICH…..can only be used in determining if a home run is a home run. WHICH….takes the umpires 10 to 12 minutes to stop the game, leave the field, go to the bathroom, have a butt, watch the replay, and then determine if it was indeed a home run.
Am I missing something here? If I’m watching a game on TV and there’s some disagreement as to whether a ball is a home run or if a player is out at a base, the play by-play announcers instantly replay the video and I, along with everyone else, except the umpires, can make a call. Total time elapsed…..20 second tops! So why does it take these bozos 10 to 12 minutes to review a replay in the clubhouse? Unless they really do go to the bathroom and have a butt.
Now the commissioner of baseball, Bud Seagull……oops….sorry, that’s Bud Selig, is totally against expanding replays. WHY? Cause it would take too much time and hold up the game. Kinda like in football when it takes two or three hours to watch a replay.
BUD! BUD! For cripes sake. It doesn’t take a freakin’ rocket scientist to figure out that all ya have to do is put an umpire in a booth along with the announcers who would gladly replay the play in dispute for them in 10 seconds flat. Not only that, but did ya ever hear of this new incredible invention called, “two-way radios!” It’s amazing. You stick a listening device into an umpires ear, (although I can think of other places I’d personally like to stick it) that would enable him to hear a message from another umpire in the booth who could instantly relay to the umpire what the call was. Isn’t that absolutely amazing!!! Total time…….10 seconds tops.
Unless they really wanna go into the club house and go to the bathroom and have a butt.
Then there’s the completely inane rule of not being able to argue balls and strikes with an umpire. Does it stop managers or players from doing that anyhow? NO! And if either has a valid argument, what’s the umpires recourse…..”Yer outta the game!”
Geez….that’s kinda diplomatic don’t ya think?
“Um, sorry to interrupt your game Mr. umpire, but I sincerely think that last call at first base was rather inaccurate and the player was somewhat safe.”
“Well, I tend to disagree with you Mr. manager, but from my viewpoint, which was 50 feet over there by the concession stand, I think he was out.”
“Hmmm. Well, I once again will unequivocally state that I believe that I am correct in stating that I believe that he was indeed safe.”
“And I in turn will state unequivocally that in my opinion, regardless of whether you are right or wrong, that I am the sole judge of that last play, and as you know, balls and strikes cannot be argued with regard to an umpires call, so keep in mind that next to God’s ruling, we come second.”
“GOD? What’s God got to do with this?”
BUT….all that said, which I just did……..besides the “GOD” umpires have on their side, along with the baseball commissioner, I too have a baseball God.
The one who listened to me when I watched the division playoffs as I said, “Oh God….puleeeeeeese……………..puleeeeeeese…….let the Detroit Tigers kick some Yankee butt.”
God must have really liked me. A four game sweep.
Um….God…..seeing that you’re listening to me now, um, could ya get me a winning Powerball ticket? Just sayin’
“YER OUTTA HERE!”
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