A Bit Of Vagina News You Really Can Get Into

Yes “Virginia” there is a book on vaginas.

Author Naomi Wolf has written a book entitled, “Vagina, A New Biography.” Which she describes as a book about science, anatomy, freedom, pleasure and about how women are starved of the kind of pleasure they want.

“It’s not about hot sex, it’s about not being taken for granted. These things are related. I now understand why I don’t want to make love if the house is messy,” she said.

My thoughts exactly. Who wants to make love in a messy house. Which is why when my other half wants to get a little frisky I always tell her to vacuum and dust first. The smell of Pledge and Lysol drives me absolutely nuts.

So I thought that perhaps I should look into her new book for some other helpful tips on what else I should know about making love, besides making sure the house is always neat and clean. Maybe like adding some sensual fragrances to the kitty litter box, (we have 5 cats) just to add to the ambiance. Worth a shot.

Lat night’s burning question before I wrote today’s blog. Which is why I always tell my other half I’m writing about politics.

After all, her book is about vaginas, and if reading her book gives us men more insight on how to completely understand the “science, anatomy, freedom and pleasure” of a vagina, hey, I’m all for it.

(somebody wanna send this book to Rep.Todd Akin, (R) of Missouri)

Only because when it comes to “science,” I wasn’t very good in science class in school because my science teacher never gave us a chance to really dissect a vagina. It was always a stinkin’ frog. So I never paid that much attention. Had it been a vagina, I would have got an “A” in science class.

And, if vagina’s were part of that science class I would have aced the entire class because I would have learned not only the “science” of a vagina, but the “anatomy, freedom and pleasure” part as well. Emphasis on the word, “pleasure.”

Wolf goes on to say that readers of her book will, “know the skill to deliver orgasms that make the leaves outside her bedroom glow in “Wizard of Oz” Technicolor” as her significant other, Avram Ludwig, a movie producer does, in their own sex life at their upstate New York home.


“Dorothy! Dorothy! Are we in upstate New York?”

“No Misfit, we’re in Kansas.”

“Damn!  can we move to upstate New York then?”

(note….rent the “Wizard of Oz” movie to get my other half excited as part of foreplay)

(second note……collect fall leaves and paste them all over our bedroom windows)

Naomi! Naomi! Tell me more….more!!!!

Most likely Rush Limbaugh.

Naomi said that women have an imperfect realization of their sexuality, “a human rights crisis,” affecting their ability to “create, explore, communicate, conquer and transcend.” Which, as the article by the New York Times says, is “a lot to pin on a vagina.”

Yes. Vaginas have a lot of responsibility as it is. Why add more with stuff like being able to create, explore, communicate, conquer and transcend. I’m perfectly content with vaginas just the way they are. Don’t want no vagina creating anything during sex. Not only would it be distracting but the next thing ya know it’ll be looking for a pat on their old vulva for creating something. Very distracting.

Communicating with a vagina might not be too bad as long as they don’t get too wordy when I’m in the midst of things. Rather have them “transcend” into what the hell I’M transcending into.

Now the “exploring” and “conquering” part I can really get into. Vaginas should NOT be doing ANY exploring and conquering Naomi. I disagree with you totally on that point. It’s MY job, or um, pleasure, to do exploring and conquering. Kinda like Attila the Hun or a viking. But not so much with spears and torches. A lighted scented candle perhaps. My kind of looting and pillaging when it comes to conquering a vagina…..so to speak.

While the rest of the vikings want to know what’s in women’s pants.

Step in another critic: Nancy Fish, a sex therapist who is quoted in the book says, “In 2012 we’re still living in the Victorian age when it comes to sexuality. Vagina has to be a household word. It should be a topic discussed at the dinner table when you’re having a dinner party.”

“Sooooo Ms. Feversham, nice of you to stop by for dinner with my wife and I and little Johnny. As head of the PTA we really appreciate you taking the time to discuss Johnny’s grades. But we’d really like to get into vaginas. So how’s your own vagina doing?”

Nothing like a good ol down to earth vagina conversation at the dinner table. Kind of an ice breaker when you’re discussing little Johnny’s school grades.

Think I’m kidding here? A dinner party was held to promote Naomi’s new book and the guests were shaping homemade pasta dough into vulvas. I said, “vulvas” not Volvo’s. (had to make that perfectly clear) Of course the dough shaped vulvas were served with salmon fillets and sausages. (no, I’m NOT going to go into the sausage/vagina/vulva one liners here)  Tempting, but no.

Otherwise I’d never be able to eat a sausage again without thinking about sex. Or vaginas and vulvas.

Oops….sorry…too late…..I got to thinking about Michelle Bachmann and sausages and just lost it.

In England, the book is already at number 7 on the best seller list. Which means either a lot of people are looking to spice up their dinner parties or there are a lot of perverts in England. Kind of a toss-up if ya ask me.

Naomi says that, “This is a time in which everybody is on the verge of a global awakening from a certain kind of torpor. (inactivity) I guess she means that vagina’s for the most part have been somewhat inactive. She could be talking about married couples that have been together for over 20 years or more. You know how marriage tends to make vaginas inactive. My guess anyhow.

She went on to say, “That’s why there’s this doubling down on the power struggle over the vagina. But this is a moment for women. We are going to have to reclaim the vagina as central to everything.”

YES!  Reclaim those vaginas!  They most certainly are central to everything. It’s about time the world recognizes that if it were not for vaginas none of us would be here today. Give them the respect they so well deserve. Right on Naomi!

For my part, as a supporter of vaginas all over the world, I plan on having a moment of silence this weekend in honor of all vaginas.

Um….maybe more than a moment of silence.

Maybe an hour or two. Over the next few days. With some candles, soft sheets and romantic music. Hell, make it an entire week. I’m really into supporting vaginas.

Hmmmmm……….wonder if my other half will let me wear my Conan the Barbarian outfit?

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Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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