Who The “F” Is Jack Welch? And Why Should I Or Anyone Else Give A Flying “F”

The honored MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather” award, also renamed in this case, “The Flying F**K Finger Feather” award, is bestowed upon GE former chairman Jack (WTF) Welch in the category of manipulating his brain which occurs when you, as a former chairman of the board, attempt to screw too many round light bulbs into square light sockets.

That is if it is at all possible to actually give a “Flying F**K.” Which is a phrase I am quite fond of having used many times during my teenage years. Even thought I never quite understood what or how you either give or do an actual “Flying F**K.” Maybe while you’re on an airplane at 30,000 feet. Or, perhaps skydiving with someone and you’re able to actually give that “Flying F**K” before you slam into the ground at 100 MPH. Nope, I’m not quite sure how one actually achieves an actual bona-fide “Flying F**K.”

But, that said, I really think Jack Welch, no relation to those Welch’s people who make jelly, but whose brain may closely resemble the contents of a jar of jelly should seriously consider exploring the possibilities of participating in a “Flying F**K.” Or at least go take one, because this guy seriously needs to either take a “Flying F**K” to relieve the stress he’s under, or go “F” himself. Just for being stupid.

Now, first of all let me explain who this idiot is. He’s the former chairman of General Electric Corporation. And, as former chairman of GE, he felt it necessary to comment on the latest job figures released by the government that shows unemployment is down. Which of course means that this is good news for the President. Bad news if you’re running against the President. And, as we all know, if you’re running for president, you only want bad unemployment news.

I know I resemble Peter Boyle but only with my “Young Frankenstein” manipulation theories. They’re alive I tell ya!!! ALIVE!!!!!”

I’m sooooo ashamed that I even look like that guy Welsh.

What to do? What to do?  Simple. Because you were once the head of a giant corporation and have some sort of stature, and perhaps because you don’t like the President, how about claiming that the figures for unemployment were….gasp….manipulated to make the President look good. Yeah, that’s it….say they were manipulated. People with less brain matter than a lot of us normal folk will buy into that. Just like the birther issue. BRILLIANT!!!!

Now folks, if I were the President and had the power to manipulate EVERYTHING don’t ya think I’d be manipulating….EVERYTHING!  Why just unemployment figures. Why stop there? Hell, manipulate gas prices. The cost of food. The war casualties. Fake a manned space mission to Mars and claim we met aliens who can sell us cheaper gas. Cripes……manipulate the election too. Just manipulate the freak out of everything.

(Those of you who can’t relate to this manipulation stuff and think it’s like masturbation, which is self-satisfaction, you’re not too far off the mark)

If the President can manipulate unemployment figures, damn, why can’t he manipulate the election too. “Manipulate.”  That’s the key word here lemmings.

Just sayin’

Ya see, what this all boils down to is this my little friends. The old Richard Nixon ploy that always works.  Which is, “get enough people to believe in your story, whether it’s true or not, and you gain some votes.” Trust me on this one….it works. Every single politician, Republican, Democrat, whatever….either lies or conveniently omits certain factual information if it helps their cause.  It’s the American way.

So why do I think this Welch guy needs to take a “Flying F**K?”  Because who gives a rats flying ass about what the *F* he thinks anyhow. Except for those people who are committed to Romney, who will believe anything negative about Obama. And of course vice versa when it comes to negatives about Romney by the opposition. WHY? Because it’s what we, as brainless rats being led by a bunch of political Pied Pipers want to believe.

Think about it for a second…or more….if you’re capable of thinking at all. Isn’t it great when the candidate you hate gets slammed by your candidate. Regardless of the truth or not. It just feels reallllll good. That’s what all this “Flying F**K” stuff is all about. Making you feel good. (again, kinda like masturbation) And, we all know that any F**K feels good….so why not a “Flying F**K” as well.” Which is what Mr. Welch has given some of you.

Shame, shame, shame on you Mr.Welchocchio

You all got his “Flying F**K” when he said the unemployment figures were manipulated to make Obama look good prior to the election. And, ya didn’t even have to buy any condoms.

The bottom line here folks is that there is no bottom line when it comes to manipulating anything when it comes to manipulating your mind to believe whatever it is they want you to believe by manipulating stuff that for the most part can’t be manipulated.*

Just like I just manipulated you into thinking that I knew what the hell I was writing when I wrote that last paragraph about being manipulated.

*(the jobs report is prepared under tight security each month by a relatively obscure government agency, the Bureau of Labor Statistics, without any oversight or input from the White House. It is based on data collected by an array of census workers who interview Americans in 60,000 households by telephone or door-to-door)

 

Not that the above fact will make any difference to anyone who thinks Obama manipulated the jobs report or still think he was born in Kenya. Just like nobody’s gonna convince me that the Easter Bunny isn’t getting it on with some chicken in order to get all those Easter eggs.

Another solution to the news manipulation problem

So, in conclusion, who the “F” do ya trust when it comes to facts? The answer is simple. Trust no one who gives you any freakin’ facts. Instead…….and this one’s really off the wall, do your own research and find out the facts yourself. YES….actually do research yourself. This means of course that you would actually have to first have an actual brain with which to research stuff, and be able to come to a logical conclusion once you have all the facts. Then, no one could manipulate you. Except your spouse during those intimate moments when you’d do anything to get laid.

Which may be the ultimate reason Mr. Welch came out and accused the President of manipulating those unemployment figures to make him look good just before the election.

It obviously was an operative from the Romney campaign, most likely a very sexy woman in fish net stockings and lots of cleavage who was sent out to seduce Mr. Welch and in a moment of heated passion, while she was manipulating some of his body parts, got him to promise that he would use his powerful position as former chairman of GE to hold a news conference and state that, even though he had no evidence, that those figures were manipulated, and that even though he was manipulated too, it felt soooooo good to get manipulated that he just had to give that good manipulating feeling to the rest of you……who enjoy being manipulated.

HEY….come on guys….cut me some slack here. Ya don’t think this guy could have been manipulated himself? Geez…..any red blooded American guy knows that when a woman flashes body parts at ya or spins her sexual web around your body, you’ll agree to ANYTHING!

How do I know this? I heard it straight Meatloaf’s mouth in “Paradise By The Dashboard Light.” What more proof do ya need.

(UPDATE) In all fairness to those of you who think anything can be manipulated, I’m posting this link from fellow blogger J. Roycroft.

http://freebeacon.com/meet-the-obama-donors-at-the-bls/

 

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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4 Responses to Who The “F” Is Jack Welch? And Why Should I Or Anyone Else Give A Flying “F”

  1. J Roycroft says:

    Hey, you forgot the part about at least two economists at the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) have contributed to President Barack Obama’s campaign. Harley Frazis of Bethesda, MD, has contributed at least $2,000 to Obama and $9,000 to the Democratic National Committee over the last three election cycles.

  2. J Roycroft says:

    Here’s a link. Was kinda tough finding one that wasn’t blatantly bleeding conservative. It isn’t a big story, but it does add to the fuel some are using to push the whole numbers manipulation idea. I’m not leaning either way on this one. http://freebeacon.com/meet-the-obama-donors-at-the-bls/

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