What the unemployment line will look like if Mitt Romney is elected President and fires everybody at PBS.
The theme of this years Presidential campaign is “job creation.” YES! Every single candidate is going to create jobs. Jobs up the ol kazoo. So many jobs in fact, that we’ll have too many jobs to handle ourselves and we’ll have to import illegal aliens to handle them.
I don’t get it. Wouldn’t ya think if every single person running for office or that is now in office could create jobs they would have done so by now? I mean, look at it this way. If some guy tells you that in order to get that job promotion you want, you have to suck up to the boss by letting him win when you’re playing golf with him, wouldn’t you do it? Of course ya would. So, if “job creation” gets you elected, wouldn’t those in power now create jobs? Seems like a no brainer to me.
Now Mitt Romney came right out during the debate the other night and said as plain as the big nose on my face to Jim Lehrer, the host on the “PBS” debates, that he’s going to cut funding for “PBS” thereby putting “Big Bird” and the Muppets all out of jobs. WHAT!
YEAH! Take THIS Mitt Romney!
He thereby screwed his chances of getting any Muppet votes. Very crucial considering there are hundreds of Muppets of voting age. AND….that’s not including all of the other non Muppets. Like Senor Wences, who by the way is a senior, and Romney needs as many senior votes as he can get his hands on. Not the way to go Mitso, pissing off seniors, Muppets AND “PBS.”
Senor Wences gets the bad news about the layoffs…..
“PBS” chief Paula Kerger said she, “just about fell of the sofa,” when the issue suddenly came up during the debates. She said that if the subsidy goes, so will some “PBS” stations. “To me, public television is like mom and apple pie,” she said. “Maybe it’s because I talk to so many people for whom public television is a lifeline.”
Public broadcasting funding has been a frequent target of congressional Republicans, who believe “PBS” and “National Public Radio” favor liberal points of view. Like the liberal leaning “NPR” and “PBS” programs, “Car Talk,” “Prairie Home Companion,” “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” and those obviously liberal slanted oldies shows with them freakin’ old oldie groups like the Platters, Jay Black, The Tokens, Ben E. King, Little Anthony and The Imperials and The Fleetwoods. I can understand why Republicans would want to shut those people up.
Right off the ol bat could basically tell that Mitt knew that he screwed himself out of millions of Muppet and senior votes right after he said that. He broke out in a cold sweat and whipped his Mitt Romney monogrammed handkerchief out of his Mitt Romney specially tailored suit and wiped his Mitt Romney upper lip. Most likely thinking to himself, “Gosh, gee whiz, I think I may have lost the Muppet vote…damn!”
Watch Mitt sweat when he realizes he’s lost the Muppet vote as he stuffs his notes, or handkerchief up his sleeve:
“Oh F**K…..now what the hell am I gonna do?”
MisfitWisdom was able to interview “Walter” one of the senior Jeff Dunham puppets for his reaction to that Romney statement about cutting funds to “PBS.” This was his reaction:
So Mitt wants to cut funds to “PBS.” Yes, the blasphemous channel that spews out all sorts of hatred and, as we all know, is a wing of the Democratic party. Plus, all those Muppets are completely biased towards Republicans. Isn’t it quite obvious what with all of those Muppets living off of government-funded entitlement programs. Who do ya think pays for their rent in those Sesame Street apartments. They’re all part of those freeloading 47% people Mitt was talking about in that hidden video. Did ya notice no Muppets were in the audience when he gave that speech.
Geez….let them all get damn jobs for cripes sake. Mitt’s right. Stop funding “PBS” and make them damn freeloader puppets work for a living.
Um…..WAIT! If he stops funding “PBS” that means those puppets like “Big Bird,” Kermit,” Miss Piggy,” “Elmo” and all the rest of them will be out of a job. Which means they’ll be asking for more entitlements like food stamps and medical care. WTF!
Kinda like a “Catch 22” situation. Stop funding to “PBS” and you put a bunch of Muppets out of work. Put them out of work and they still are entitled to Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps and a whole bunch of other government-funded programs. Is there no solution tho this?
Oh Mitt…..Mitt….what have ya done? You’re blowing your chance for the Muppet and senior puppet vote! Those damn freeloaders are gonna sink your campaign. You’re supposed to be a job creator not a job killer. We don’t need a bunch of stinkin’ Muppets in the unemployment lines just before the election!
OMG!! What the hell are we gonna do Mitt? WHAT?
Hmmmmm.
I got it! Call “PBS” and Jim Lehrer right now before it’s too late and tell them that you were only kidding. Yeah, that’s it….you were making a joke. Ha, ha ,ha….a joke!
Tell them your great great great great grandfather was actually a Muppet who came from some foreign country many eons ago with nothing in his pockets, except cotton stuffing, and through hard work in a cotton factory managed to raise a family and go on to eventually buy his own cotton gin thereby guaranteeing other immigrant Muppets jobs, housing, and the American Muppet way of life. Yeah, that’s it Mitt….fall back on your Muppet heritage.
Tell Lehrer that you’re actually a Muppet, you love frogs, cookies, big birds and once rented an apartment on Sesame street. Hell, stretch it a bit and tell him you once dated Miss Piggy. Tell them Muppets are actually Mormons. Who knows, maybe they are.Who the hell in their right mind is gonna be able to “fact check” that stuff?
Quick Mitt……do it now before the next debate so that they can’t nail ya for that first remark. Bring a damn Muppet with you or something. Wear a Kermit the Frog pin. Cripes, have Clint Eastwood come out at your next campaign rally and talk to a freakin’ trash can. ANYTHING! just do it now!
Then after you’re elected President, screw all them Muppets. Fire them stuffed little cloth-covered beady eyed rag bags.
Then the rest of us, after you’re elected, will line up at the unemployment office to apply for their jobs…………..
That you’re going to create after firing those damn Muppets in the first place.
Thus…..job creation.
BRILLIANT!!!
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