Why Doesn’t McDonalds, Burger King and Wendys Have Home Delivery?

“HI….I’m delivering your order from Burgers R Us….oops…..sorry….my salami is slipping outta my pants here.”

Go ahead….laugh.  You think I’m nuts suggesting that all three of these fast food places should consider home delivery.

Yeah…..well they laughed at Ralph Kramden on the “Honeymooners” too when he used to say, “One of these days Alice….POW….right to da moon!” And see….we’ve been to the moon, so Ralph wasn’t that crazy was he.

Has anybody seen Alice lately?

So what’s wrong with suggesting that McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s offer free delivery right to your front door?  Fast food is fast food and if they want to keep promoting how fast fast food can really be fast then they should come up with a fast way to fastly deliver fast food fast right to your front door which would make getting fast food even faster.

Trust me here….this idea is not stupid.  I have visions of this concept in my mind as we speak….or um, read. Now follow me on this.

You call one of the three, place your order, they cook it, seal it in one of those heat containers like the pizza delivery guys do, hop into their McMobiles, Burgercycles or Wendyscooters and zip off to your house.

You answer the door, a guy dressed like Ronald McDonald, the King from Burger King or little Wendy herself hands you your food. How simple is that!  Might be a bit of an incentive for Wendy’s to dress Wendy up kinda sexy considering the other two are guys, “Ronald,” and The “King” and are kinda goofy looking. A sexy looking Wendy’s delivery girl could boost Wendy’s sales a bit. Works for me.

HARK! Yet another Mona Lisa painting by Leonardo da Vinci!

Just about everybody else has home delivery so why not these places?  With the evolution of technology progressing at a rapid pace ya just have to keep up with things.  Everything’s on computers these days which makes it easier for all of us to simply sit on our couches, as well as our big fat butts, and do everything from there.  The ultimate goal of all this new tech stuff is so that we never, ever, have to leave the house.

Thus….solving the problem we have with high gas prices.

Hey, if those businesses want our business I say give the business to them by making them deliver stuff to us. Let them pay those damn high gas prices. If home delivery works for the pizza guys, why not fast food?

Stuff those hamburgers, fries and mc whatevers into that heat retaining container and schlep it out to us. The time has come for these fast food places to catch up with everybody else.

The real reason Ronald McDonald and The Burger King guy hate each other.

Knock Knock!

“Yes…oh, it’s our fast food delivery order honey.”

“Sir…you ordered two super sized 20 pound sesame seed whopper chili burgers sandwiched between two loafs of bread with catsup, mustard and a pickle, a three-pound bag of crispy fries, and a one gallon super vanilla shake with jimmies on it squished into one of our happy meal whatever containers?”

“Yeah…that’s correct…….um….did you remember the salt and pepper?”

“Salt and pepper?  Sir, don’t you have salt and pepper in your house?”

“Of course I have salt and pepper in my house you dimwit. But if It’s costing me extra for home delivery I want my damn money’s worth!”

(sigh) “Ok…..I’ll drive back and get your %$#@!! salt and pepper.”

“HEY……………Don’t forget my free happy or whatever meal toy!”

The way I look at all this folks is that if you’re gonna pay extra for home delivery you might as well get the most for your money…..like that free toy……….or at least the opportunity to hit on little Wendy.

Cute little Wendy back in 1969

She is kinda cute in that little schoolgirl dress.

Actually, I think she’s now in her forties. Which would make it completely legal to hit on her. Just sayin.’

Wendy today………need I say more.

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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